User talk:One-eyed Jack/Archive

Re: Obsessive-compulsive rhyming disorder

Hey, thanks a lot, OEJ! I'm thrilled so many people on Uncyclopedia liked OCRD so much, and having it featured blew me away. But, remember, you have a hand in all of this, too: you were the first person to review my article, and as such likely the first one to take a really good look at it, and you also contributed those marvellous bits about grocery shopping and gangsta doctor visits. As such, you deserve to be praised for your contributions, too. Thanks again for everything you've done; without that first Pee Review, I highly doubt that OCRD would even be a known article, let alone featured. -- CUN PLS VFH (Miniluv•Minitrue•Unsoc) 02:39, 21 June 2007 (UTC)

Oh, Cyclopedian-Ocular John

I'm writing to see if you'd be at all interested in judging for the upcoming Poo Lit Surprise competition? If you're planning on writing anything, go right ahead and do that, you certainly have the talent, but if you want to assist in the judging, that would be greatly appreciated. Hit me up on my talk page if you're open to the idea.Sir ENeGMA (talk) GUN WotM PLS 22:23, 23 June 2007 (UTC)

Image

Dunno if this one is used somewhere? or is it deletable? Please let me know. Ta -- sannse (talk) 20:16, 25 June 2007 (UTC)

Bipolar Bears

Here's two bucks a charming portrait of a bipolar bear for your heartfelt support of manic-depressive wildlife. Bipolar Bears Rule!!

- Thanks for the review. It made the front page. Slithy Tove 06:36, 5 July 2007 (UTC)

YourSpace

Thankx for reveiwing this. Sorry the cartoon isn't readable. It's funny, though, because I did the most of the article using Microsoft Word, which auto-corrects misspelt words. This explains the Uncyclopedian errors (e.g., the "[[incorrect heading==, but doesn't explain the other mispelt words. Funny...

I don't know why MS Wurd missed Transelvanian. Clambered is a correctly spelled word but it means "to climb something clumsily" and what you wanted was clamored, "to shout for or demand something". I don't know what MS Wurd's grammar-check would have said about the "amounts" sentence. Incidentally, I use Firefox browser and it does a spell-check for text entry fields -- including Wiki article-editing fields like the one I'm typing this reply in right now. But I like creating articles in a word processor and then uploading them. ----OEJ 17:13, 10 July 2007 (UTC)

Thanks!

Dr. Skullthumper has awarded you a roll of toilet paper for voting on bathroom humor. In fact, you voted for it, too. Really quite a plus. So thanks. Seriously, treat the toilet paper nicely. It's a bit... you know... sensitive. You might want to laugh at the jokes it makes. Particularly the one about the plunger and the ice skate. God, only heard that one five million times...

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:12 Dec 16, 2025 00:52, 17 July 2007 (UTC)

Gut Check!

Bile Sluggish? Can't Fight the Feelin' Anymore? Prettiestpretty thanks for your vote on VFH UnNews:Homeland Security administration declares new "Gut Feeling" threat level

Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 23:32, 22 July 2007 (UTC)

Mail prostitute

Is now here. Feel free to move it back when it's finished. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 05:47, 31 Jul 2007

Oh, you already copied it to your userspace... Ah well. At least you have the history now. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 05:50, 31 Jul 2007

Thanks!

Thanks again! -- CUN PLS VFH (Miniluv•Minitrue•Unsoc) 05:56, 6 August 2007 (UTC)

Sweet Christ!

One-eyed Jack/Archive

I thank you humbly for the opportunity to impose myself upon the tiny box marked Today's featured article. My own little box in this dark corner of the interweb. My welcoming visage, greeting all who visit this cartoonish funhouse of crazy people. The depravity, flowing like gravy down the chin of a senator. This is my honor.

Much appreciated, you bastard.

Yours always,

Duke
(dictated but not read. Transcripted by your pal, THINKER 04:33, 8 August 2007 (UTC).)

Pee Review

Say, OEJ, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind reviewing a page for me. You see, a while back, in a review or something, you planted the seed of an idea in my head: play something up as something else. This page is basically where I went with that. So, if you don't mind, would you please review it for me? P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:20, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Cool, thanks muchly. (Meantime, I may do a few reviews myself....) P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:20, 9 August 2007 (UTC)

Forgot to say thankies for the helpful review. I've started polishing the page a little, but for now I'm gonna nervously refresh VFH every 5 seconds to see how my articles do. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 01:21, 12 August 2007 (UTC)

Quoticide

Just to make things clear, I wasn't actually referring to you. But simply dropping the template Q whenever it's found has become an acceptable behavior here....~ 20:21, 11 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks

...for peeing on my article. Um, wait? I mean that in a good way. I'm glad you think I've actually written something worthwhile. I plan to hungrily take your suggestions into consideration and ruminate in order to extract maximum humour. Thank you very much!!! 206.248.152.26 02:27, 13 August 2007 (UTC)

Thanks muchly for voting

For voting, as well as for your kind words of praise, I award you this award:

	The Led Balloon has awarded you a shiny new Humvee. You may wanna, uh, keep an eye on that, ya know? Just park it in the garage for a few nights, ok?
	Thanks for voting, and remember, don't let yourself be brainwashed by the Eco-Nazis!

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:41, Aug 17, 2007

A psychic is you!

Your A Big Psychic Now!

Thank you for voting HowTo:Bend a spoon to the front page of the Uncyclopedia. With your help, we can work together and give the psychic community the acknowledgment it deserves! We accept donations! Happy Bending! We apologize for the delay in sending this thank-you message. It was transcribed and sent telepathically, and our expert telepathist has had a headache for the last week and was unable to send it properly. Did we mention we accept donations?

– Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:47 Aug 17, 2007 22:18, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

thx

I would like to thank you for reviewing on my Piplup article. I'm going to see if I can still make it funny and consistant.--Dark Paladin X 23:24, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

Cheers for the review

I would put on one of the template usebox things but I don't know. Cheers for making the reveiw very constructive, some of my other articles that were reveiwed didn't give me much ideas on how to improve it.

Use wisely! SRXT. 18/08 05.39pm

I...

Am sorry to hear that you disliked Russian reversal (phenomenon). Though it did make it to feature, I was sad to see such great writers and Uncyclopedians as yourself, Thinker, Cs, and RAHB finding it to be subpar. I hope in the future you will enjoy my articles more, and perhaps I can redeem myself in your eyes. Cheers.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:56, 21 August 2007 (UTC)

you get thanked now

thanks for polishing up peaches --Death Itself 16:28, 24 August 2007 (UTC)

horrifying, it's definitely being put in --Death Itself 17:04, 24 August 2007 (UTC)

just letting you know, that i'm going to be thinking about expanding and editing this article in the coming weeks. i may go in depth with the whole part about the north

thanks again --Death Itself 00:20, 26 August 2007 (UTC)

Please accept this generic invitation template:

You've been Invited

You've been invited to take an exiting new beta test of concept of Satiropendium, the comedic compendium!

Satiropendium requires good writers willing to collaborate articles with others, tough critics to review the articles to see if they're worthy, and stewards to verify the articles as being the best they are. More details can be seen in the link. If you are not the best writer, the inviter might have you in mind as a critic and steward, and if ever the full wiki is setup, you will be able to have a chance to get a full fleged admin account, but that's only if you're one of the first five to sign up for the job (and there's a pretty good you will be).

Note: There was a seperate wiki, but because it was a decrepit old version of mediawiki, it was shut down until adequate hosting can be found. You can help us get hosting by joining and helping out!

P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:05, Aug 28, 2007

A kwestion

The rewrites you did before the official start of conservation week...did you rewrite them with the intention of having them be a part of your score, or did you just so happen to have done five rewrites that day? --THE 19:58, 5 September 2007 (UTC)

I've just wandered over...

To drop you this link. /me places the link indiscriminately on OEJ's talk page, then walks indiscriminately away. Psst, the crow flies south at midnight. P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:44, Sep 9, 2007

web 4.0

hello, i am the author of the web 4.0 page that you voted for deletion. i was wondering if you could give me any pointers on revising it so that i can save my work from deletion, thanks--Astrofreak92 21:28, 18 September 2007 (UTC)

Hai

I see you have implored anyone who voted for Chuck Norris to also clean out irrelevant facts of the same sort. How exactly do you find these? Because I'd like to better the cause (after all, I did rewrite the article 'cause it made me cry on the inside), but I don't know where.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 23:49, 18 September 2007 (UTC)

I was just wondering the same thing myself, actually. Do you just type "Chuck Norris" into the search engine? Could it be that simple? P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 00:02, Sep 19

WIP

Just thought i'd ask a favour of you; your personal WIP template adds them to this category would it be possible to remove the templates from those pages? I thought i'd better check with you before doing anything. -- (Bonner) (Talk) 12:32, 23 September 2007 (UTC)

Anytime OEJ :) -- (Bonner) (Talk) 16:14, 23 September 2007 (UTC)

The Light Of Jack Has Shone Upon Me (J'accuse)

Hey thank you! Wow, 40/50 and it's only been alive for 3 days! Yeah definitely help out if you can. I notice you didn't comment on the random story or images, which are both awesome. I agree now that it's stream of consciousness, but I only do it cuz it hurts the reader, and pain is gain. Talk to ya later! --  Le Cejak • <-> 22:55, 23 September 2007 (UTC)

Greetings, From Mexico City!

Thanks for an excellent pee review! Quite often I find that people just give honest criticism too much and then forget to give any real suggestions, but you gave some concrete suggestions which were very helpful so, bravo old bean, bravo! I'll be sure to put a little more work on it within the week. Leatherboundbooks^TalkContributions 20:06, 25 September 2007 (UTC)

Pee Review

Thanks for reviewing Buster Keaton in the Pee Review I feel very good about this article, and I'm glad you do too. Please vote for it when it goes to VFH. Anyway the cow that tipped over the lamp that started to great chicago is a allusion to an Americna myth that a cow tipping over a lamp caused the great Chicago fire which lasted for over 2 days! I'm still having problems with quotes and what do you tihnk I should to the end of Box office rivals? Please post on my discussion page any suggestiosn ahve. I appreciated your compliments and suggestions. --Dr. Fenwick 02:41, 28 September 2007 (UTC)

VFH

Wel, looks Literary dedications has failed. I guess you can never tell how the mob will vote, but it's Quasi'd, so I'd say I'll nom it again eventually. The page is just ahead of it's time.... Someday they'll all see what fools they were... Someday! P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 21:57, Sep 28

VFD Vote

Would you mind reading Uncyclopedia:Bureaucrats? It's been rewritten. Perhaps I can persuade you to change your vote? Conniving 15:58, 7 October 2007 (UTC)

Reviews n' such!

Thanks very much for the helpful review! I think I know what you mean about prose, and finding a voice in a page, and I'll try to revise, rework, reword, and re-everything else this page until it "clicks". The title, I think, will be UnBooks:Science Fair, but it's still in my userspace and I don't feel like typing it out yet... Anyways, thanks! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:11, Oct 13

By the way, I meant to ask, when you say the voice of the page, you mean the narrator, right, not the dialog? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:18, Oct 13

Close your eyes...

Thanks for reviewing my article, Manumission. After a month of waiting, it was a pleasant surprise to such a detailed review. Thanks! Sir Groovester | Contributions | Talk Page 03:39, 15 October 2007 (UTC)

Thank you

Request for your professional opinion

Ah, One-Eyed Jack, legend of the Pee Review, and possessor of enough Golden Showers to fill a particularly opulent hotel. Greetings! I've submitted an article for review, and, as one who is hugely impressed with the quality of your reviews, kinda hoped I could get a OEJ special on User:Under user/HowTo:Fuck Off. I've hit a bit of a wall, and hope one of your reviews will equip me with the dynamite needed to blast through it.

Of course, if you're busy and all reviewed out, fair enough, you do enough of the damn things already!

Keep up the good work dude. --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 22:59, 20 October 2007 (UTC)

Under User has blessed you with cake for being friendly and/or useful. Eat it quickly before he changes his mind. Warning: cake prepared in an environment which also processes nuts, and contains lactose, gluten, ground glass and arsenic, which gives it a lovely tang.

Much obliged for the extra comments OEJ, really value your opinion and I will let it have a well-earned nap over the weekend before hopefully polishing it off in the next week. Hope your manic week of work has subsided, and you have a great weekend! --Sir Under User (Hi, How Are You?) VFH KUN 15:22, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

User:Doovad/Bass

I wrote it as a subpage to see how it would fare on Pee Review. If it is well liked, then I will probably place it in mainspace to remove the "Bass" article, because, frankly, the current Bass article is garbage. -- Sir FS Doovad Read You got somethin to say? 16:54, 26 October 2007 (UTC)

Thanks OEJ

Looks like I'm not the only one to thank you for a super-helpful review.

----Holly (I'm so un-co at this signature stuff)

Oh great eye person! I present an intellectual page for you to review!

Hey Jack! I know we haven't talked very often, however I have a page that needs reviewing by someone of your stature. Really. This has promise, I think, and I want to take your special type of advice. If you don't want to, that's totally cool. I will be watching your page, buddy! Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Universe (musical) --  Le Cejak • <-> 00:56, 30 October 2007 (UTC)

Jack, thank you very much for the 40/50! I'm glad that you appreciated it. The hard part is going to be integrating your suggestions. If you have any more advice, I would be glad to hear it! Thank you again!! --  Le Cejak • <-> 00:40, 31 October 2007 (UTC)

Pee Review Request

Hi, if it's possible, could you review Top Hat, one of my articles? I hear that you're the best reviewer around. Thanks, • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:23, 31 October 2007 (UTC)