User talk:Joe SheA/Archive

Hi everyone. New shit on bottom, or Chuck will r0xx0r your s0xx0rz.

Hey...

Hello just thought I'd point out that your user boxes really should be on your userpage (or in a sub page like User:Joe SheA/My userboxes) not your talk page (people come to talk to you here). Also on your user page you have the UGotM award when you really shouldn't. That's something you need to earn. It's also my understanding that you seek adoption, this I can help you out with as I currently have nothing to do. If your interested then reply here. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM11:21, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

I accept both the advice and the offer, but right now I got to go to bed. J-Shea 11:12, 25 July 2008 (UTC)

Sure I do too, also some breif formatting rules on talkpages. indent (using a colon (:)) one more than the person that you're talking to. also try to avaoid obliterating bit's of timestamp code as it can make code leek all over the place (I know you probably didn't mean it or even notice but maybe use the preview button?). SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 11:21 25 July 2008

So adoption?

Yeah sorry I forgot to get back to you, if you're still interested on in the adoption thing just add {{Adoptee|Orian57}} to your userpage. Basically it means you come to me to ask your questiosn about stuff I'll help you with articles and creating a fancy sig (if you want). SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 15:56 27 July 2008

Halt

Cease your actions, sir. Or face the consequences. --Charitwo^Talk 02:12, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

OK i'll stop just don't ban me --J-Shea 02:14, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

Too late. Continue to be a dink when you return and I'll make the ban permanent. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:22, 10 November 2008 (UTC)

GGGGOOOODDDDDDDDAAAAMMMMNNNN HHHHIIIIMMMM!!!!

I'm sorry Modus. My f*cking little brother got a hold of my password. Please forgive me. Also, Mordillo banned my IP (also the little prick's fault). Could you be so kind as to remove this ban if it's convenient? Thank you so much. J-Shea 04:28, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh, and I beat the f*ck out of him with a raw trout for touching my computer. He won't cause anymore trouble. Thanks again, J-Shea 04:32, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

No problem. Don't share your password, and don't hit your brother...with trout. That's a waste of good food. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:04, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Thank you. Don't worry, next time I'll use spoiled meat.J-Shea 05:18, 24 November 2008 (UTC)

Considering the fact

That you've been banned thrice already, I wouldn't go dropping remarks to other users who "misbehaved". Especially the way you did that. You are nudging closer to your final ban. ~ Mordillo where is my CRAP? 08:33, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

OK I'm sorry about that. I'll get myself under control. J-Shea 13:10, 3 December 2008 (UTC)

ReddFighter Says-

dude, four things. 1st unless your an admin, you cant tell me what to do. it was on accident, i set it up on another page but someone deleted it. i just wanted to get a clean talk page.

2nd, the only user pages i ever "spamed" was my freinds Kuhkukachoo and Shadow Sniper. THEY SPAMED ME BACK for fun, so yeah.

3rd, its called email, retard.

4th and formost, i can do what i want to on my talk page, so unless an admin says i cant use commas or spelling is a big issue, which it isnt my best feild, than leave me alone. ReddFighter

The commas comment was sarcasm. J-Shea 02:58, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

If you did it by accident, why did you delete every comment except yours and the one from from whoever the hell that is? And don't spam people, use their "email, retard", as you you so eloquently put it, not Uncyc. J-Shea 03:02, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

sry, well, i was talking about the first comment, the one were you thought i wouldn't know who wrote that one. I have stuff sent to me by email, which it would say, "User:Talk Reddfighter was changed by Joe SheA" thats what i meant by "email retard." which was alittle harsh. anyway, i will leave it at that. your not an admin, are you?

All of a sudden you're polite. Just kidding; im not an admin. But i feel obliged to tell you...

OBSERVE THIS GIANT ANGRY TILDE

Due to the regrettable fact that you have entirely forgotten to sign your posts, the entirety of Uncyclopedia is very mad at you. This is rather unfortunate as many of us are capable of summoning Grues at will. I politely suggest that you quickly rectify this by using the four-tilde rule whenever you post on a talk page from now on. Copy and paste the following handy text for your own convenience in signing your posts: ~~~~

---

Seriously, it takes less than five seconds, and provides a link to your userpage. J-Shea See? J-Shea 04:48, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

Flamewar contained

I won this flamewar, ReddFighter. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!J-Shea 04:53, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

DDDDAAAAMMMMMMMMIIIITTTT I STRECTHED THE PAGE! WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Boo-hoo to you too, J-Shea 04:53, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

Reverting me

Will have dire consequences. If I removed something you write it was for a reason. This is your final warning. ~ Mordillo where is my CRAP? 12:33, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

I'm sorry; I thought ReddFighter had removed it. J-Shea

~

yes, i have learned to sign my posts :D. ReddFighter 17:57, 4 December 2008 (UTC)

YAY!!!!!~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ J-Shea 02:26, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

My First Intelligible Article

Alright, I just finished Laws of Physics, and I think it's pretty funny. Anyone reading this, please look at it and offer suggestions/comments. Thank you. J-Shea 03:25, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Random: Chuck Norris, God and Kurt Cobain should not be mentioned on the same page (unless they started a band).

Listy: Lists of more than six things are one or more things too many. Paragraphs are better than lists. Try reading wikipedia's pages on stuff (not, it must be mentioned, their page on the anus).

Pictures: Needs 'em.

Lastly: You're talking to yourself on your own talkpage. This indicates insanity. Lucky for you, I passed by looking for my dog. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:13, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Thanks a bunch for the suggestions. I'll get working right away. I hope you find your dog. J-Shea 05:17, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

So do I. Note to self: don't let pets on the internets. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 05:37, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

I still miss my fish. J-Shea 05:37, 6 December 2008 (UTC)

Hey :D

do you have any suggestions fer my Call of Duty page? I've kinda ran out of ideas, and have started on CoD 8 (see my article) and I cant think of anything. If you could help me, I would appreciate it. (o, and i sent this out to all my "freinds")

thnxbai- ReddFighter 01:27, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

Sure no prob. J-Shea 01:49, 15 December 2008 (UTC)

All I Wanted This Year

was a single XXXmas card. WAS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? J-Shea 06:37, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

Instead, Modus lost his dog, I found my fish dead, and I am forced to use 4chan! Oh, and my brother killed himself after murdering the rest of the family (besides me, since I was surfing the Intarwebz), or something. J-Shea 06:42, 7 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 8th January 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

January 8th, 2009 • Issue 30 • Suckling the Milk of News from the Teat of Truth

Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live By SysRq Recently, hundreds dozens some Uncyclopedians have joined the ranks of thousands of pizza-faced proud high school graduates and pre-pubescent twelve year old boys in the dysfunctional, loosely connected network of gamers known as Xbox Live. Among these traitors to Uncyclopedia were Orian57, a friend of the UnSignpost and frequently featured writer. Other Uncyclopedians on Xbox Live include The Woodburninator, Mhaille, Bonner, and Heerenveen. How could such successful Uncyclopedians go so wrong? I went undercover as "Pope Gustav" to expose these turncoats and find out why they abandoned the site in such numbers. The following is an actual transcript between me (under the alias "Pope Gustav") and Orian57 (under the alias "Orian57") on Xbox Live. Pope Gustav: Hey buddy, it's SysRq from Uncyclopedia. Orian57: Hello. You want to play some Horde? Pope Gustav: Yeah, man. We're playing on Gridlock, right? Orian57: Actually, Security is a much easier map for Horde. Pope Gustav: Cool. This is stunning evidence that Orian57, along with others, is leaving the site for the glamorous life of Xbox Live. When confronted with this transcript and these accusations, Orian replied that "I was just on Uncyclopedia today. I was just bored and wanted something else to do." Oddly enough, all of the other Uncyclopedians that have Xbox Live accounts that I spoke to also claimed to have "lives" outside of Uncyclopedia, lives that mainly consist of playing Halo 3. Article gets +21 votes on VFH By Mnbvcxz. Only a few days after going back to featuring "Today's Featured Article" for only one day, instead of the previous two, the article, The defense rests, your honor received 21 "for" votes and no "against" after a mere 3 days on VFH. The article, nominated on VFH by SysRq, and written by noted admin Modusoperandi, is the first article surpass +20 votes in a long while on VFH. Upon hearing of his accomplishment, Modus is heard to have said, "I'd like to thank all of the little people that I crushed to get where I am," and, "Can I wear my Kernel Popcorn costume?" SysRq, the article nominator is quoted as saying, "I was the one who nommed that article; I deserve some recognition." For those of you are new around here, VFH is the process by which uncyclopedia nominates articles for "Today's Featured Article", the article in the top left corner on the mainpage. All users of uncyclopedia, including anonymous ip users are encouraged to vote on VFH and nominate articles on VFH. VFH can be found here, but typing in VFH in the search box, by clicking the "Votes for Highlight" link under the community links on the right (it's second from the bottom between "Pee Review" and "Votes for Pictures"), and Uncyclopedia:VFH, in addition to several other redirects. Many users have expressed approval of this accomplishment, as the more votes an article gets, the better an article is. Therefore, by voting on an article, one injects more quality into an article, in the same way that manufacturers "inspect" quality back into a finished part. Additionally, the admins will not longer be forced to torture various cute animals to inspire users to vote in VFH: provided VFH doesn't stall out again.

Check out these pages! Serious Bitchin' Business Women farting on baked goods... Who was that guy? From our logs: 14:30, 7 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.249.151.205 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (hi hi poop? That's the best you can do?) 22:38, 6 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.201.148.112 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (People who don't learn need to get extra lessons via their anus. Well, I'm here to give extra lessons. Bend over mister!) 15:22, 4 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 79.175.81.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (1nd, I have 2 dads, and 2th, just because I am the product of dirty, dirty incest, and also a fuckface, that is no reason to blank my talkpage. Fuckface.) Biopic of the Week Whatever else you say about Mordillo, you can't say he's idle. Except in real life, because he's spending all his time on his computer, banning asshats, deleting crap, making stuff happen, writing quality articles, and sorting shit out. Of course, as he's a Zionist, it's all part of a wider conspiracy to control our very thoughts, but that's probably a small price to pay for such an efficient admin. Old School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. Translated Uncyclopedia Article of the Week Drill Sergeant in Mexican. ¡UN INSTRUCTOR DE ENTRENAMIENTO ES LO QUE CARAJOS SOY! ¡DESDE AHORA NADA VENDRÁ DE ESA INMUNDA COLADERA LLENA DE CACA QUE USTED LLAMA BOCA! ¡SÓLO RESPONDERÁ CON 'SÍ SEÑOR' O 'NO SEÑOR'! ¿¡ENTIENDE RECLUTA!? Read the original. The welcome(?) return of Cajek ban of the week 09:46, 7 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Cajek, you have no idea how wasted I am. 15 shots of gin and somehow I'm still awake. And blocking you. Fuck yes.)

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MrN9001 15:55, 9 January 2009 (UTC)

Nomination

Want me to nominate you for useless gobshite of the year? (since I saw you nominated yourself for useless gobshite of the month, thought you might want to win the award that's 12 times better) --Docile hippopotamus 10:41, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Sure go ahead. J-Shea 12:35, 12 January 2009 (UTC)

Done. --Docile hippopotamus 00:41, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Dear god,

you are one of Orian's children. That is all. - [19:44 13 January 2009] YYettie

You have penises for lungs. Now please leave, or you will be escorted from the premises. J-Shea 19:49, 13 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh I'm a fan of yours I assure you. Penises for lungs, seems like quite an inspired thought, actually! - [20:13 13 January 2009] YYettie

UnSignpost 15th January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

January 15, 2009 • Issue 31 • Making the New York Times look like Mad Magazine (or is that the other way round?)

From The Desk of the Cabal: Incest and sex change are now bannable offenses From the desk of the cabal. Embedded with the last person who came looking for the cabal Following the sex change operations of citizen (now citizeness) Yettie, and several suspicious sexual activities in the Uncyclopedia compound, the Cabal hereby decrees the following: Sex changes are only allowed if the citizen wishes to become a voluptuous female. Any other operations are banned (particularly those who wish to become males, or just more manly looking, in order to improve their chances of scoring with various Uncyclopedians of either gender). Any sexual activities with family members is strictly prohibited. Exceptions are: members of the AAN family members, who can shag aunts and granddaughters as much as they'd like. Sex tax is now in affect. All sex acts taking place in Uncyclopedia are taxable. Taxes should be paid to Olipro no more than 24 hours after the act has taken place. Acceptable currencies are: Euros, Dollars, Pounds, Young Boys and Camels. Thank you citizens, this message was not delivered by the Cabal which does not exist. Behave nice, vote on VFH and obey the Cabal. The Cabal is your friend. Or it would be. If it existed. Pee Revuu? In a surprise move, Boomer, former dictator in absentia of PEEING, the group for opinionated users who enjoy nothing more than giving a good Pee Review, has announced his official retirement. His last official act was to appoint Under user, noted reviewer and maintainer of the Pee Review committee page, to his old position of Captain Catheter. Some regular pee reviewers are worried; Orian57 was heard to say "If UU is going to do Boomer's job, then who the hell are we going to get to do UU's old job of keeping track of pee reviews, judging the quality of pee reviews, and actually getting around to doing the occasional pee review? Don't look at me, I'm gay." UU himself dismissed such fears, pointing out that he's got nothing better to do with his time than arbitrarily judge the quality of other people's opinions anyway, and adding "I'm relieved to be taking up this position as it will drastically reduce the number of reviews I'm expected to do. Also, I'm thinking of introducing a policy of stripping Orian57, and only him, of his RotM award, his rank, his mittens and his right to drink hot chocolate ever again unless he does a bloody review some time soon". However, some users are still not convinced this is a good idea, or even possible. One, speaking on condition of anonymity, said, "I seriously doubt that UU can do Boomer's job and his own at the same time. I mean, how can he be accused of being a lazy arse if he has almost twice as many good pee reviews as anyone else and does 75% of the pee review maintenance tasks? This ruins the running pee review committee in-joke about Captain Catheter not doing anything. There is no way this can work."

Check out these pages! Rcmurphy of the Year Mooses pops back for some bandwagon action The reason for 4pedia From our logs: 08:25, 13 January 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Tardman (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (I love being a cunt, it makes my hair glow) 23:58, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 218.186.12.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Replacing a page with 'Hey uncyclopedians, edit this please' is basically the same thing as replacing it with 'Hey uncyclopedia admins, ban me please.' Talk pages are your friend. Blanking is not.) 01:06, 12 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 86.135.165.198 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Hey! I remember you! You evaded that ban that one time, remember? Good times, man, good times.) 15:17, 10 January 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked Modus Operandi (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 months ‎ (1 month for being an ass, the other for that stupid username.) Biopic of the Week It's hard to define the singular entity known as Modusoperandi in mere words. He's like Uncyclopedia's wandering troubadour of amusing non-sequiturs: roaming the land in search of discussions worthy of his absurdist input, sitting by the campfire of the conversation, treating those assembled to another whimsical one-liner, and then heading off toward another exchange where his presence is required. Kinda like the Littlest Hobo, but with jokes. And lots of awards, featured articles, admin powers and suchlike. VFD Delete vote of the week Delete How many half-baked, stale jokes can we fit on one page? More importantly, how can something be stale and yet only half-baked? by Syndrome on Awesomeness. Transatlantic jaunt of the week After many months in the hands of that most malevolent of dictators, the United States date format, the New Year allowed our stand-up English editor to put the UnSignpost printing presses on a 747 to what this journalist considers the correct British format! Rejoice! (Note: What you paid for this paper may or may not have gone on the presses' ticket. We don't know. It may also have gone on that booze over there.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MrN9001 21:26, 15 January 2009 (UTC)

Maybe the next one could be with....Clinjas?

I'm no writer, but 99% of all clinjas and grues have perished in a gigantic battle with Chuck Norris. Please donate to keep them from extinction. --J-Shea 19:20, 18 January 2009 (UTC)

Sockpuppet of month

Your not a sockpuppet. I thought you would want that too since your in the running for UGotY and UGotM. Sure you won't change your vote to a for? --Docile hippopotamus 04:58, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Wait-is the ban on SotM enforced? --J-Shea 05:00, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

If it isnt, then yes --J-Shea 05:00, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

I'll ask. --Docile hippopotamus 05:04, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

haven't got a reply yet, but I'm sure its not a ban forever. --Docile hippopotamus 06:56, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

Thank you. Let's go for teh grand slam, people! UGotM, UGotY, FFS, and SotM! --J-Shea 06:59, 17 January 2009 (UTC)

the awards

Your close to winning them, but need a couple more votes. Is there anyone you can ask to vote for you? --Docile hippopotamus 10:22, 26 January 2009 (UTC)

Get ReddFighter and his friends (listed on his userpage), as well as Orion57 for UGotY, FFS, and SotM (already threatened his life for a vote--yes, my own adopter). --J-Shea 05:13, 28 January 2009 (UTC)

Do you want me to ask them to vote for you? --Docile hippopotamus 00:47, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Yes. ALL OF THEM!!!!! --J-Shea 02:12, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

It has been done. --Docile hippopotamus 13:09, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

what a tangled web we weave; when we first seek to whore attention-eve. --J-Shea 13:23, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Um... how do I vote for you??? (yes I am a noob at this). I havn't really ever voted for anyone...ReddFighter Talk!| 20:11, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Go 2 vote page and put [[ For.]]. --32.144.207.82 22:51, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Oh, thank you stranger. - ReddFighter Talk!| 22:54, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Forgot 2 sign in. Sorry. --J-Shea 23:55, 29 January 2009 (UTC)

Ask the woodburninator to vote for you for GOTM. --Docile hippopotamus 03:09, 30 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 22 + 7 (+1) January

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

January 22 + 7, 2009 • Issue 32 • Th-the m-m-most con-confident new-Newspaper in a wh-while

Zionists consolidate wiki power By The rather nervous junior horoscope writer accidentally promoted to editor in chief Yeah the st-story is, erm, about Mr Mor-Mordillo’s erm asce-ascent—rise to new power. He was, eh, pr-promoted to erm, Be-Beu- Bureaucrat? Which, erm, me-means he can- can now do- do th-things he cou-couldn’t d-d-do b-before; Kind-kind of like m-my pro-pro-promotion. Heh-heh, th-that was a j-jo-joke. S-some Un-Uncyclope-Uncyclopedians th-think this p-p-proves s-s-s-something abou-about so-some s-sort of J-Je-Jewish, erm, conspiracy. Or-or something, I-I’m n-not really sh-sh-sure why that was meant to be funny. Pro-pro-probably was-was-wasn’t. So-sorry. Th-the decision ca-came about b-b-because of th-the fuh-fuh-forum voting process in-in-initiated b-by Under—Under user wh-who was u-u-upset tha-that Bureaucrat C-C-Codeine had decided to leave. After s-some ti-time voting it-it was d-d-decided that Mordillo w-w-would become a Bureaucrat and that C-C-C-Codeine wasn’t leaving a-a-after all! Which was g-g-good. M-M-Mordillo di-didn’t ma-make a c-c-comment s-so I-I’ve b-been told t-to make one u-up. Erm, “Ha ha ha! N-Now you-you’re all un-under my thumb!” Or something, that that wasn’t really f-funny ei-either. Sorry, M-Mordillo, it-it’s not my W-words! Image:Do a jailbait.jpg Determined to be a Shemale By Mnbvcxz and Orian57 To the relief of Uncyclopedians everywhere, notorious image "Do a jailbait" has been scientifically proven not be a girl. Originally, many suspected that the disturbing and disturbingly attractive image was that of young girl: age estimates ranging from jail bait age down to "pedo-bear approves" age. However, due to much "research" on the internet regarding the appearance shemales who are just over the age of consent, it has been determined that said image was in fact a young shemale. Researchers said the hairy arms and the huge penis of the lady in question proved without reasonable doubt that the image can not be that of a girl. Many in the Uncyclopedia community were relived by the news. Orian57 in particular who stated the child was “quite sexy.”, on the image talk page, was relieved to find he could no longer be considered bisexual. Some worry about the continuing freedom of Sockpuppet of an unregistered user after his comment: “I don't care. Me wanna rape!”

Check out these pages! Think of the Grues, won't someone please think of the Grues? Looks like the cool and sexy admins IP is back under another different name then Virtually nothing From our logs: 19:48, 22 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Jeus (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (And the Lord said, "Let there be bannination," and there was bannination, and one more asshat was kept off of the wiki, and the Lord looked and he saw that it was good.) 03:30, 19 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.27.241.181 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking talk pages is annoying. Your inability to take a joke is even more annoying. The fact that you haven't yet been banned for either is the most annoying of all. I can fix one of those.) 02:47, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked CANIHASTHISPLEEZ (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Looks like somebody needs to get a life. This nice little ban will keep Uncyclopedia from getting in the way of that.) Biopic of the Week To some, a meaningless jumble of letters, Mnbvcxz is much, much more than that. In fact, he's much, much more than you could possibly imagine. In fact, he's so much more that trying to explain it in a small box in a wiki newspaper is futile, particularly if you spend so much time explaining that you can't explain his awesomeness that you leave yourself little space to try. Still, he reviews, categorises, helps out and does stuff. But that's only the tip of the iceberg that is Mnbvcxz! Reason why the UnSignpost is a week late of the fortnight The editor was busy, and totally lacked inspiration. Want to make sure the paper is on time next week? Give us a story in the press room! Cajek ban of the fortnight 05:21, 19 January 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a spanking ‎ (20 bans in August, 9 in September, 10 in October, Just 2 in December and 2 in January. Disgraceful.)

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MrN9001 02:24, 31 January 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 5th February 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

February 5, 2009 • Issue 33 • It's Journalism Jim, but not as we know it.

The ‘of the Year’ run down of the year! By Orian57 So after a long neurotic month of blatant prostitution, secret e-mail canvassing, bribery and coercion in deciding who should win the various ‘of the Year’ awards (plus a completely normal five days of knowing who did) the results are in! UotY: Mordillo! Nominated (but not voted for) by UU with the reason “[he does] the big bad wolf stuff to keep fuckwits at bay.”. 21 Jew jokes later (“Jew that controls the internet”, “I feel I have to vote for him” and “I love this man. To the point that his girlfriend is seriously distraught by it”) Mordillo was the landslide victor a whole 12 votes ahead of the runner up, UU! And he deserved it too (though to be frank I deserved it more)! Our WotY was Modusoperandi! Narrowly beating Mhaille by 2 votes he was nominated by UU with the reasoning “…Tends to brighten my day whenever I see him, although that could be the light reflecting off his gleaming naked body.” Another 19 Canadian jokes ( “this silly Canadian”, “I never would have thought that casting a vote would be so painful as this” and “Modus is like maple syrup. On the outside he's all golden, sweet and sticky. On the inside however, he's all golden, sweet and sticky”) won him the award! (though to be frank I would have appreciated it more!) Next up was our winner of PotY, Prettiestpretty! She was nominated (but not voted for) by Mhaille because she is the “producer of some very impressive work” and has won the PotM twice! 18 girl jokes later (“such a foregone conclusion”, “She's earned this and then some” and “Unlike most people here, I'm actually going to give a reason for voting for PP. I'm even going to write two sentences explaining the reason.”) she deservedly won the award which she herself designed. (I don’t even know how to use MS paint but I’d still like to have been acknowledged). There was also an impromptu N00b of the Year award created that Rcmurphy ran off with. He was nominated by Spang with the reason “He really deserves it this time” and received 12 N00b jks (“How can you be a year old and still be a noob without being rcmurphy”, “He's still confused too” and “[Hyperbole is] regularly here and dangerously competent. Rc remains the quintessential n00b”). (*grumble* I started lurking in 2007…) Lastly and leastly there was the UGotY which was awarded to Wikia. Nominated by Mhaille with the reason “Wikia continue to raise the bar on defining what it means to be a Useless Gobshite”. He/she/it got 5 jokes that I don’t properly understand (“As much as I'd like to see Yettie take this, Wikia is both more useless and far more of a gobshite”, “it's rare to see such dedication to gobshitery” and “Outstanding contributions to fail.”). (Ok so I’m not bitter about loosing this.)

Check out these pages! Penis Pants Er, fox? From our logs: 1:33, 2 February 2009 Flyingfeline (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.169.166.86 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Oh, brilliant. Well, that's going to be fun for both of us. I wonder who'll get bored first?) 04:39, 31 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.138.52.153 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Hey there! Remember me? I was the admin that asked you to stop failing so hard back in October. Now I'm asking again, but with a ban length 12 times longer.) 18:16, 29 January 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Sej (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ ("And He saw the work, and He was sore displeased; and He did smite the n00b with all his wrath". Book of Codeine, ch. 6, vs 9) Biopic of the Week YesTimeToEdit Commonly known as Yettie, he won N00b of the Month back in April 08 after writing a featured UnNews. He went on a crusade to gave us all more things not to care about than we can handle. Following another feature he deservedly won UGotM. There has also been some recent confusion about his gender. Cajek ban of the week 04:48, 31 January 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 28 minutes ‎ (Apparently the UnSignpost has a 'Cajek ban of the week' section. This is my week!) Custom box #3 This box is empty. Imagine something nice here like a Caribbean holiday, getting sand in your shoes and arse crack while being blistered by sun you weren't made to handle and pretending to enjoy yourself.

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9001(bot)  03:09, Feb 5