Portal:Games

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The Games and Sports Portal

Hey, gimme a go.

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby.

Modern sports include Real Football, Baseball, Kitten Huffing, Curling, Snooking, Sockey, Kitten Hurling, Chucking loads of Elephant Poo at each other, Sailing and Monkey Waxing. Every 5 years the Olympiad is played in these and three other grand sports. It is an international competition open to all nations, which originated with the Geeks, an ancient civilization of people with thick glasses and a penchant for VRML tags. People have been throwin' the pigskin, hurlin stones, and waxing monkeys for decades with no stop in sight. This event is ultra-telecast on multilive video feeds on a number of stations worldwide. The soft drink revenues from the event are in the billions, but hey you don't need to know that, you're too busy watchin koko get a clean wax job. (Full article...)


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Stack 'em high!

Cup Stacking is a fringe pseudo-sport championed by young white children all across the Midwestern United States (where real sports have been declared the Olympics of Satan and thus outlawed). The game is also known as Sport Stacking, deemed as such by its creators in order to "immediately identify it as a legitimate competitive sport." To further this effort, the word 'Sport' was again used to describe Cup Stacking in 2005; unfortunately for enthusiasts, it was preceded by the words 'World's Dumbest' in this instance.

Indeed, Cup Stacking is perhaps the most ridiculous activity ever to be entered into the realm of serious competition.

Cup Stacking was founded by welterweight ski champion Bode Miller as part of his week-long Drunk Olympics celebration. During a mandatory drinking binge sometime between drunken figure skating and the drunken long jump, Miller thought it would be funny to stack emptied beer cups on top of one another. In fact at the time, he thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen (or at least the funniest thing he could remember seeing)... (Full article...)

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FIFA 2010

The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Sonje Image archive


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Did You Know...

  • ...The League of Nations was a competition that existed from 1919 to 1946, comprised of countries that take part in the game of War. Winning a war scores points for their team. In the event of a draw, the country with the most kills wins, or in case of a further tie, whoever firebombed the most schools.
  • ...In real football, the ball is held by the hands 95% of the time - regardless of what those damned Limeys say.
  • ...The Blue Screen of Death (abbreviated BSoD), also known as The Blue Screen of Doom, the "Blue Screen of Fun", "Phatul Exception: The WRECKening" and "Mac osx" apparentley, is a multi award-winning game first developed in 1995 by Microsoft.
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Recognized Articles

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Categories

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Board Games - Cards - Computer Games - Departure of Fun - Drinking Games - Fighting Games - GameFAQs - Games for Mac OS - Grand Theft Auto - MMORPGs - Mortal Kombat - PacMan - Puzzles - Role playing games - RuneScape - Sports - Uncyclopedia Games - Uncyclopoly - Video games - Vile racism - War Games - World of Warcraft - Xbox Live Members

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