Portal:Games
Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."
Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)
The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. The first Drunk Olympics took place in Utah in 2005. It was during the Drunk Olympics that the popular recreational sport Cup Stacking was born.
In January of 2004, Bode Miller made a bold, controversial statement regarding skiing while intoxicated. During a midday drinking binge, Miller appeared on ESPN2, proudly proclaiming: "EAAMPH, Airgve Glub Spleeekd Waidaaded HAHAHA!!" After consulting the Oxford Drunk-to-English Dictionary, Miller's statement was roughly translated to "yes, I've gone skiing wasted. Hahaha." ESPNEWS anchor Steve Berthiaume became noticeably upset.
Later, a videotape of Bode surfaced on YouTube. The 6-minute recording featured Miller skiing erratically, falling, swigging from a hip flask of Whiskey, then attempting to ski back up the same slope from which he descended. When athlete John Paul George Smith saw this video, he was touched, and inspired. "I was inspired by Miller's drunken skiing. And I was inspired by it, also"
- Ball games
- Board games
- Cards
- Drinking Games
- FA Games
- Gambling
- Game shows
- Puzzles
- Role playing games
- Science fiction games
- Sports
- Toys
- Video games
- Vile racism
- War Games
Featured articles
- The Keep Your Finger In The Box Game
- Thermopylae
- Jingo
- Andy Kaufman
- Water Polo... With Sharks!
- Nuremberg Rally
- UnBooks:Michael Phelps Makes Me Sick
- Volleyball
- Why?:Are motorists out to get me when I ride my bike?
- Cricket
- Peter Sagan
- Canadian baseball
- XBA
- Internet (video game)
- AAA
- Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
- UnBooks:Duty
- Resident Evil
- Fortnite and homosexuality
- Among Us
- ... Super Smash Bros.: Xtreme Beach Volleyball is a spinoff game to the popular Super Smash Bros. fighting game series. SSBX, unlike the rest of the series, is not a fighting game, but rather a "Sports Fantasy Simulation" game, a cross between a dating sim and a somewhat Pong-like volleyball simulator.
- ... The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point.
- ... The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament is an annual event hosted by the Elite General Blundering Around Division of the British armed forces. It is open to all pointless forces members, from those who are no good at fighting but can march very well, to the man in charge of feeding the regimental mascot sheep.
- ... Seal Clubbing is a team-based sport popular in northern Canada, Greenland, Norway and Russia. It is the third most popular sport in Canada after hockey and moose bludgeoning, as well as the official sport of the Territory of Nunavut.
- ... AAA is, was, and always will be, without question, the greatest video game player on Earth.
-
Art
Peak pretentiousness -
Business
Money, money, money! -
Comedy
The science of funny -
Culinary
Food for the soul -
Film
Enter the Matrix -
Games
Recess time -
Gay
A gay ol' time -
Geography
Get lost -
History
Factually wrong -
Literature
Literally illiterate -
Internet
A series of tubes -
Music
Rock on! -
Politics
Politically incorrect -
People
The people's portal -
Religion
Speak of the Devil -
Science
Playing to be God -
Society
We live in one -
Technology
Breaking stuff easier -
Television
Turn your brain off -
Theatre
To be or not to be -
Video Games
Better than sex -
Zoology
Beware of furries -
Portals
Meta-Portal -
Community
The Community -
Main Page
The Uncyclopedia