Portal:Games
Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."
Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)
Ironing, derived as are modern business suits and certain poodle haircuts from the Victorian era, is an extreme sport which may yet burst with internal pressure onto the Olympic stage.
| “ | A long time ago, people needed their laundry to be crisp and wrinkle-free. Now, nobody cares. Appearance has been shouldered rudely aside by the sudden importance of image. I, for one, decry the rise of this ridiculous pastime and its corresponding conspiracy to ignore personal pride and common sense. | ” |
— Dr. Benjamin Spock, 1958
| ||
Simply, ironing is the unusual mechanical process of applying heat and pressure to an article of clothing or linen, with the purpose of making the said article smooth and therefore attractive. Imaginative places and ways of achieving this humble goal are, however, what has catapulted the sport to international acclaim.
- Ball games
- Board games
- Cards
- Drinking Games
- FA Games
- Gambling
- Game shows
- Puzzles
- Role playing games
- Science fiction games
- Sports
- Toys
- Video games
- Vile racism
- War Games
Featured articles
- The Keep Your Finger In The Box Game
- The Dice Man
- Barns and Nobles
- Saw
- Monopoly (game)
- Hide and Go Jesus
- Bloodbath
- Ironing
- Drunk Olympics
- Mini-golf
- Doping in sports
- Cricket
- Marble race
- Crimes inspired by video games
- Internet (video game)
- Pac-Man (walkthrough)
- Amnesia: The Dark Descent
- Fortnite and homosexuality
- Holocaust Tycoon
- Mario Kart
- ... In real football, the ball is held by the hands 95% of the time - regardless of what those damned Limeys say.
- ... If it weren't for Phillips CD-i, there would be no such thing as youtube poop, and thenforth, life would not be worth living in the slightest.
- ... Rock, Paper, Airstrike is a popular children's game where 2 or more children gather in a circle and make obscene hand gestures at one another in an attempt to win the game. The rules are surprisingly complex for such a simple children's game, yet it remains a game that children enjoy the world over.
- ... The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships is a contest held annually all across Sweden except when it isn't. It attracts orienteering fans and people who enjoy firing rats from cannons worldwide.
- ... Uncyclopedia:Uncyclo-tan is hawt. That fact doesn't really have anything to do with games, but I just thought I'd mention it.
-
Art
Peak pretentiousness -
Business
Money, money, money! -
Comedy
The science of funny -
Culinary
Food for the soul -
Film
Enter the Matrix -
Games
Recess time -
Gay
A gay ol' time -
Geography
Get lost -
History
Factually wrong -
Literature
Literally illiterate -
Internet
A series of tubes -
Music
Rock on! -
Politics
Politically incorrect -
People
The people's portal -
Religion
Speak of the Devil -
Science
Playing to be God -
Society
We live in one -
Technology
Breaking stuff easier -
Television
Turn your brain off -
Theatre
To be or not to be -
Video Games
Better than sex -
Zoology
Beware of furries -
Portals
Meta-Portal -
Community
The Community -
Main Page
The Uncyclopedia