Portal:Games

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Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)

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Jingo! is a game of physical and mental skill, first played in Europe during the 17th, 18th and 19th Centuries, particularly popular in England, where it is said to have been invented, but that has recently become de rigueur amongst American culture, especially throughout the nation's many colonies worldwide.

Some, however, hold that it originated in the ancient Roman Empire, though they are largely alienated by the rest of the historian community owing to the common knowledge that Romans were peace-loving people, who never even killed their own emperors, let alone foreigners. The aim of the game of Jingo! is to place your blocks on top of those of your opponent, until the sheer weight of your imperial tower crushes their will, all in the interest of safeguarding your country's national interests and its political bumpersticker industry.

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The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa, still less annoying than the vuvuzelas.
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Did You Know?
  • ... Age of Umpires is a highly successful RPG/Strategy video game series by Microsoft and Unsemble Studios. In it, the player takes control of a team of Umpires with the primary aim of ruining cricket matches.
  • ... In real football, the ball is held by the hands 95% of the time - regardless of what those damned Limeys say.
  • ... Bloodbath is a popular sport played worldwide. It's the only sport which loses fans the more it gets popular.
  • The Birmingham Niggers are a professional American Minor League Baseball team from the windswept steppes of Birmingham, Alabama. Most news outlets consider the name offensive, and refuse to advertise any upcoming games or print any statistics for the team.
  • ... The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament is an annual event hosted by the Elite General Blundering Around Division of the British armed forces. It is open to all pointless forces members, from those who are no good at fighting but can march very well, to the man in charge of feeding the regimental mascot sheep.
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