Portal:Games

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Games & Sports Portal
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Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)

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Cup Stacking is a fringe pseudo-sport championed by young white children all across the Midwestern United States (where real sports have been declared the Olympics of Satan and thus outlawed). The game is also known as Sport Stacking, deemed as such by its creators in order to "immediately identify it as a legitimate competitive sport." To further this effort, the word 'Sport' was again used to describe Cup Stacking in 2005; unfortunately for enthusiasts, it was preceded by the words 'World's Dumbest' in this instance.

Indeed, Cup Stacking is perhaps the most ridiculous activity ever to be entered into the realm of serious competition. Cup Stacking was founded by welterweight ski champion Bode Miller as part of his week-long Drunk Olympics celebration. During a mandatory drinking binge sometime between drunken figure skating and the drunken long jump, Miller thought it would be funny to stack emptied beer cups on top of one another. In fact at the time, he thought it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen (or at least the funniest thing he could remember seeing).

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An atypical poker hand, you may need to bring the screen right up to your face to notice.
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Did You Know?
  • ... Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide.
  • The Birmingham Niggers are a professional American Minor League Baseball team from the windswept steppes of Birmingham, Alabama. Most news outlets consider the name offensive, and refuse to advertise any upcoming games or print any statistics for the team.
  • ... Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century B.C. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using fake drachma and bartering.
  • ... Holocaust Tycoon is a simulation computer game, released for Windows XP and Wii platforms in 2006. It was developed by Ka-tzetnik Enterprises in Berlin, and later released throughout Europe by WN Software. In Holocaust Tycoon, the player must successfully manage a camp, without going bankrupt, whilst avoiding the attention of invading Allied Forces.
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