Portal:Games

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Games & Sports Portal
Go Eagles!

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)

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The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. The first Drunk Olympics took place in Utah in 2005. It was during the Drunk Olympics that the popular recreational sport Cup Stacking was born.

In January of 2004, Bode Miller made a bold, controversial statement regarding skiing while intoxicated. During a midday drinking binge, Miller appeared on ESPN2, proudly proclaiming: "EAAMPH, Airgve Glub Spleeekd Waidaaded HAHAHA!!" After consulting the Oxford Drunk-to-English Dictionary, Miller's statement was roughly translated to "yes, I've gone skiing wasted. Hahaha." ESPNEWS anchor Steve Berthiaume became noticeably upset.

Later, a videotape of Bode surfaced on YouTube. The 6-minute recording featured Miller skiing erratically, falling, swigging from a hip flask of Whiskey, then attempting to ski back up the same slope from which he descended. When athlete John Paul George Smith saw this video, he was touched, and inspired. "I was inspired by Miller's drunken skiing. And I was inspired by it, also"

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An atypical poker hand, you may need to bring the screen right up to your face to notice.
Image by Sonje
Did You Know?
  • ... An ancient and dangerous sport from which modern day curling is derived, the Kitten hurling battle originated in the steamy jungles of what is now Quebec as a mating ritual of the Aztecs.
  • ... Super Smash Bros.: Xtreme Beach Volleyball is a spinoff game to the popular Super Smash Bros. fighting game series. SSBX, unlike the rest of the series, is not a fighting game, but rather a "Sports Fantasy Simulation" game, a cross between a dating sim and a somewhat Pong-like volleyball simulator.
  • ... A shopping list purports to be a simple item used to detail all items required on a given shopping trip. However, recent scientific studies have revealed its true purpose: it is a key element in a game of oneupmanship between couples.
  • The Birmingham Niggers are a professional American Minor League Baseball team from the windswept steppes of Birmingham, Alabama. Most news outlets consider the name offensive, and refuse to advertise any upcoming games or print any statistics for the team.
  • ... You, a worthless nobody, have been summoned to a fighting tournament to fight and be given the chance to win whatever it is your heart desires, be it fame, glory, money, or swimming in a pool full of steaming hot spaghetti and tapioca.
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