Portal:Games

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The Games and Sports Portal

Hey, gimme a go.

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby.

Modern sports include Real Football, Baseball, Kitten Huffing, Curling, Snooking, Sockey, Kitten Hurling, Chucking loads of Elephant Poo at each other, Sailing and Monkey Waxing. Every 5 years the Olympiad is played in these and three other grand sports. It is an international competition open to all nations, which originated with the Geeks, an ancient civilization of people with thick glasses and a penchant for VRML tags. People have been throwin' the pigskin, hurlin stones, and waxing monkeys for decades with no stop in sight. This event is ultra-telecast on multilive video feeds on a number of stations worldwide. The soft drink revenues from the event are in the billions, but hey you don't need to know that, you're too busy watchin koko get a clean wax job. (Full article...)


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Selected Article

The American Pro-Jingo! Team

Jingo! is a game of physical and mental skill, first played in Europe during the 17th, 18th and 19th Centuries, particularly popular in England, where it is said to have been invented, but that has recently become de rigueur amongst American culture, especially throughout the nation's many colonies worldwide.

Some, however, hold that it originated in the ancient Roman Empire, though they are largely alienated by the rest of the historian community owing to the common knowledge that Romans were peace-loving people, who never even killed their own emperors, let alone foreigners.

Game Play

The aim of the game of Jingo! is to place your blocks on top of those of your opponent, until the sheer weight of your imperial tower crushes their will, all in the interest of safeguarding your country's national interests and its political bumpersticker industry. (Full article...)

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Things You Can Do

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Selected Image

FIFA 2010

The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Sonje Image archive


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Did You Know...

  • ...The League of Nations was a competition that existed from 1919 to 1946, comprised of countries that take part in the game of War. Winning a war scores points for their team. In the event of a draw, the country with the most kills wins, or in case of a further tie, whoever firebombed the most schools.
  • ...It is told in ages past that Dragon Worrier was a console role-playing game for the Nintendo Entertainment System. It was the grandfather of the entire RPG genre. You know "World of Warcraft"? It's based on this.
  • ...Age of Umpires is a highly successful RPG/Strategy video game series by Microsoft and Unsemble Studios. In it, the player takes control of a team of Umpires with the primary aim of ruinning cricket matches.
  • ...Metal Gear Solid (Metal Gear Solid!?) is a tactical espionage action game and the first game in the Metal Gear Solid series. It was written and directed by Hideo Kojima (Hideo Kojima!?); and has received critical acclaim for its innovative gameplay, cinematic tone, redundant dialog, lengthy codec conversations, and other things that interrupt and then distract the player from the game.
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Recognized Articles

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Categories

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Board Games - Cards - Computer Games - Departure of Fun - Drinking Games - Fighting Games - GameFAQs - Games for Mac OS - Grand Theft Auto - MMORPGs - Mortal Kombat - PacMan - Puzzles - Role playing games - RuneScape - Sports - Uncyclopedia Games - Uncyclopoly - Video games - Vile racism - War Games - World of Warcraft - Xbox Live Members

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