User:Jesus F Christ

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Sorry I'm a bit late.

“Crucifixion hurts less than not being able to edit a page on Uncyclopedia”

– Jesus F Christ on Crucifixion

Jesus F Christ is a desperate, degenerated, washed up, ex-Jesii with one hell of a Messiah complex on his hands.[1] Because of this Jesus F Christ has returned to give god another o and take back all the d evil is giving.

  • I am the Messiah.

Manifesto[edit | edit source]

Sympathy for the Cabal
Jagger F Christ

Jesus F Christ follows a strict fundamentalist view that Uncyclopedia should be both fun, and mental, with absolutely no amen getting in the way.

The following action is therefore recommended:

  • Remove semi-protection from virtually every mainspace page
  • Remove most of the user and IP blocks

He also recommends:

  • Giving bureaucrat and checkuser rights and to all community appointed administrators
  • Giving sysop rights to lots and lots of other users.
  • Patrolled edits.

I believe all of Uncyclopedia should do this.



Roadside Stew3 5 weeks ago
"Ccr kicks ass. And seriously could that guitar cable be any shorter!?"

Gavin Derifield2 2 weeks ago

"1969 im sure they was all short"

counternub405 2 days ago

"It's a wound cable, you'd be surprised how much give they have."

Quotes Jesus F Christ wishes Jesus F Christ had said, but didn't[edit | edit source]

– .Lyrithya 00:44, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
Jesus F Christ approves the above messages.
Jesus F Christ casts shame.


Pages Jesus F Christ would edit[edit | edit source]

Also...

UnNewsLast Edit
Uncyclopedia Server narrowly escapes deportation in miraculous jailbreak by SystemPhantom18:49, 5 February 2026 (hist) by Fish on skates
Windows 11 JBE hits shelves just in time for Christmas by DeletedUser51be906d01:51, 5 February 2026 (hist) by Gergdown
Texas schoolbook committee approves "Anybody Can Be President" series by Zim ulator23:33, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Alula
Ass raping monkeys made headlines in the White House  23:33, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Alula
Hamas stockpiling monkey penetrating ammunition by Zim ulator23:33, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Alula
Kennedy Assassination Solved by Aleister23:33, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Alula
PETA demands the right to bear poop by Aleister23:32, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Alula
Russian Space Chief Announces Operation Ass Monkey by GlobalTourniquet23:32, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Alula
Deltarune tomorrow! by DaniPine320:02, 4 February 2026 (hist) by Fish on skates
Man was dead and was not agreed  20:45, 3 February 2026 (hist) by Turb0-Sunrise


MainLast Edit
Newport-on-Tay by CluelessPropagandaCommunity02:53, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Sapplerx
Stamford Bridge by 94.195.251.13302:51, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Sapplerx
Vranyo by Joreberg02:50, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Sapplerx
Mr. Saturn by Mr Saturn02:50, 6 February 2026 (hist) by DanubianAgumon
The Last Shadow Puppets by 186.13.1.15802:50, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Sapplerx
Command  02:45, 6 February 2026 (hist) by OmegaTurtle443
A story built one letter at a time by OPOSSUM02:42, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Turb0-Sunrise
A story built one word at a time by L10nM4st3r02:31, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Fish on skates
A story built one paragraph at a time by DaniPine302:31, 6 February 2026 (hist) by AtomicAnon
Catacomb 3-D by Mr Saturn02:00, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Mr Saturn
Walter The Dog by GoatLordServent01:52, 6 February 2026 (hist) by GoatLordServent
A story built one sentence at a time by Willy on wheels01:19, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Fish on skates
Lord Sauron  01:19, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Noopnurf
Tantalum by AtomicAnon01:18, 6 February 2026 (hist) by AtomicAnon
Moccasin snake by Deemox01:16, 6 February 2026 (hist) by AtomicAnon
Leopard by 97.64.62.15300:22, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Idibiks
2020 United States presidential election controversies by MrX00:15, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Shabidoo
Hyena by DWIII00:08, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Idibiks
An image built one pixel at a time/Big by OPOSSUM00:07, 6 February 2026 (hist) by Turb0-Sunrise
Academic writing  23:52, 5 February 2026 (hist) by GlitchyZorua


Articles to fixLast Edit

...and don't forget Special:NewPages .

References[edit | edit source]

  1. I hope that clears up any possible identification issues

See also[edit | edit source]