User:Jesus F Christ

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Sorry I'm a bit late.

“Crucifixion hurts less than not being able to edit a page on Uncyclopedia”

~ Jesus F Christ on Crucifixion

Jesus F Christ is a desperate, degenerated, washed up, ex-Jesii with one hell of a Messiah complex on his hands.[1] Because of this Jesus F Christ has returned to give god another o and take back all the d evil is giving.

  • I am the Messiah.

Manifesto[edit | edit source]

Sympathy for the Cabal
Jagger F Christ

Jesus F Christ follows a strict fundamentalist view that Uncyclopedia should be both fun, and mental, with absolutely no amen getting in the way.

The following action is therefore recommended:

  • Remove semi-protection from virtually every mainspace page
  • Remove most of the user and IP blocks

He also recommends:

  • Giving bureaucrat and checkuser rights and to all community appointed administrators
  • Giving sysop rights to lots and lots of other users.
  • Patrolled edits.

I believe all of Uncyclopedia should do this.



Roadside Stew3 5 weeks ago
"Ccr kicks ass. And seriously could that guitar cable be any shorter!?"

Gavin Derifield2 2 weeks ago

"1969 im sure they was all short"

counternub405 2 days ago

"It's a wound cable, you'd be surprised how much give they have."

Quotes Jesus F Christ wishes Jesus F Christ had said, but didn't[edit | edit source]

– .Lyrithya 00:44, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
Jesus F Christ approves the above messages.
Jesus F Christ casts shame.


Pages Jesus F Christ would edit[edit | edit source]

Also...

UnNewsLast Edit
Help Uncyclopedia Buy Weird Al by Kakun08:53, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Kakun
Elizabeth Warren calls US Flag unfair by DWIII03:38, 24 July 2025 (hist) by DWIII
Superhero Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile by PF4Eva14:01, 23 July 2025 (hist) by Alula
Donald Trump promises liberation to all kitchen appliances by SystemPhantom05:35, 21 July 2025 (hist) by SystemPhantom
Donald Trump announces military project to build Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte tanks by SystemPhantom05:34, 21 July 2025 (hist) by SystemPhantom
CDC announces wonderful plan to prove vaccines cause autism by SystemPhantom05:28, 21 July 2025 (hist) by SystemPhantom
US to fight robot uprising by RealLifeCartman18:04, 20 July 2025 (hist) by Brogo13
Canada's international reputation wreck found in the Arctic Ocean by Mattsnow01:20, 19 July 2025 (hist) by Alula
Obama to Democrats: "Toughen up, you fucking pussies!" by PF4Eva15:38, 18 July 2025 (hist) by OPOSSUM
Asia  01:06, 18 July 2025 (hist) by RealDonaldTrump


MainLast Edit
Dutch people by 69.211.108.6920:06, 24 July 2025 (hist) by 186.96.212.67
Shinkansen by Taiwan19:59, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Taiwan
An image built one pixel at a time by OPOSSUM19:42, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Theultimategergdown
Wild Kratts by Syndiate19:19, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Alula
The Tom Cruise Unit by 76.104.99.16819:19, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Alula
Hamster Time! by NoNamesLeft18:00, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Fish on skates
A story built one word at a time by L10nM4st3r17:17, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Fish on skates
Windows 11 by Help99917:16, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Mr. George
A story built two words at a time by മമ്മൂട്ടി17:12, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Fish on skates
A story built one sentence at a time by Willy on wheels17:11, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Fish on skates
A Project Sekai Movie featuring Jack Black as Hatsune Miku by Fish on skates15:48, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Fish on skates
Škoda Q-Cars by Tranvit15:15, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Tranvit
Satan vs. Tyson by Bad Motherfucker15:02, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Bad Motherfucker
Zeitpyramide by Theultimategergdown14:26, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Theultimategergdown
"Weird Al" Yankovic by MagicBus11:54, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Alula
Trump vs. Biden by Bad Motherfucker10:38, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Bad Motherfucker
Alected by Kakun09:52, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Kakun
Payton Gendron by Braunshekel09:22, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Braunshekel
Lawrencium by Theultimategergdown01:34, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Theultimategergdown
68 (number) by Tatersforever44201:24, 24 July 2025 (hist) by Tatersforever442


Articles to fixLast Edit
Beluga whale  12:46, 18 May 2023 (hist) by Alula
Shiva  16:49, 12 April 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Jennifer Connelly by 80.127.198.5019:03, 13 April 2024 (hist) by Alula
Infomercial  14:08, 17 April 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Moron (particle)  23:31, 23 April 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Requiem for a Dream  18:09, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Sr. Tentacles  18:12, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Washington Literary Society and Debating Union by 204.155.226.218:12, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Uncertainty principle  18:13, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Keychains  18:18, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Patrick Kavanagh by 143.239.7.118:21, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Autosite by Hauserplenty18:25, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Messiah  18:26, 2 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Major Barbara  14:45, 4 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
God 2.0  14:47, 4 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
The Christian Bale Institute for the Criminally Insane  17:59, 6 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Abiogenesis by Unuser18:00, 6 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
The World's Hardest Maths Problems  17:42, 9 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Tao jones by 204.116.61.13001:46, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
John Valby by 70.16.108.18101:49, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Service pack  01:53, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Fireworks  01:58, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
I Totally Banged Your Wife Dude  02:06, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
New York University by 66.65.107.7602:09, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Nobel Price  02:10, 16 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Lint by 151.200.126.5523:22, 19 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
The Cottesloe School by LeoHodges200623:23, 19 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Münter by Longfellow1927123:24, 19 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Golden path  23:24, 19 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Digital Fortress  17:07, 20 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Association for World Domination  17:44, 20 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Turd world by Kakun02:14, 21 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Heroine (drug)  13:08, 22 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Invision Community by 68.233.221.13713:08, 22 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Narcotics Anonymous by Kazimiera13:09, 22 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Mancard  13:58, 22 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Air Supply  14:02, 22 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Asdioawetanbmvpsdapow  00:30, 24 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Libel  00:36, 24 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Hide and go fuck yourself  00:36, 24 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Boston Celtics by Kevin Garnett16:11, 27 May 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Brie  17:08, 3 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Cthulhu v. Japan  17:17, 3 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Walsall  22:46, 8 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
KalOnline by 71.124.45.10800:01, 10 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Mathematician by Carlb17:06, 10 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Failsworth  17:31, 10 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Musical theatre by 64.229.74.6117:39, 10 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Dewey, Cheatem & Howe by Orion Blastar12:19, 11 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx
Holy Market by Orion Blastar12:21, 11 June 2024 (hist) by Sapplerx

...and don't forget Special:NewPages .

References[edit | edit source]

  1. I hope that clears up any possible identification issues

See also[edit | edit source]