User:Jesus F Christ

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Sorry I'm a bit late.

“Crucifixion hurts less than not being able to edit a page on Uncyclopedia”

– Jesus F Christ on Crucifixion

Jesus F Christ is a desperate, degenerated, washed up, ex-Jesii with one hell of a Messiah complex on his hands.[1] Because of this Jesus F Christ has returned to give god another o and take back all the d evil is giving.

  • I am the Messiah.

Manifesto[edit | edit source]

Sympathy for the Cabal
Jagger F Christ

Jesus F Christ follows a strict fundamentalist view that Uncyclopedia should be both fun, and mental, with absolutely no amen getting in the way.

The following action is therefore recommended:

  • Remove semi-protection from virtually every mainspace page
  • Remove most of the user and IP blocks

He also recommends:

  • Giving bureaucrat and checkuser rights and to all community appointed administrators
  • Giving sysop rights to lots and lots of other users.
  • Patrolled edits.

I believe all of Uncyclopedia should do this.



Roadside Stew3 5 weeks ago
"Ccr kicks ass. And seriously could that guitar cable be any shorter!?"

Gavin Derifield2 2 weeks ago

"1969 im sure they was all short"

counternub405 2 days ago

"It's a wound cable, you'd be surprised how much give they have."

Quotes Jesus F Christ wishes Jesus F Christ had said, but didn't[edit | edit source]

– .Lyrithya 00:44, 9 March 2014 (UTC)
Jesus F Christ approves the above messages.
Jesus F Christ casts shame.


Pages Jesus F Christ would edit[edit | edit source]

Also...

UnNewsLast Edit
''British scientists from Oxford University have announced that moles begin to grow wings when exposed to daylight, allegedly due to ancient ancestors that were “somewhere between a pterodactyl and a hippopotamus.” by Pedalniysvin03:42, 2 January 2026 (hist) by GlitchyZorua
The great wikipedia war by 121.220.153.303:36, 2 January 2026 (hist) by GlitchyZorua
Apple stocks rise on introduction of new iToilet  02:21, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Gandhi statue coming to life in London by Aleister00:13, 2 January 2026 (hist) by DaniPine3
Martin Luther King's tomb discovered by Aleister22:25, 1 January 2026 (hist) by DaniPine3
Hunter S Thompson admits drug use by Under user21:03, 1 January 2026 (hist) by RealDonaldTrump
Kansas City Chiefs lose the "city" part of name, moving to Kansas by Orangutang9419:49, 1 January 2026 (hist) by Turb0-Sunrise
Britain's Trident plans leaked by 62.252.64.3221:19, 31 December 2025 (hist) by Soviet
Bill O'Reilly predicts America will become Sweden by Zim ulator20:12, 31 December 2025 (hist) by Soviet
Christina Chandler announces her candidacy by RealLifeCartman23:56, 30 December 2025 (hist) by Mr. George


MainLast Edit
PlayStation 5 by DeletedUser000806:10, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
University of Illinois by 69.214.226.19706:09, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Portal:Society/Selected Articles by DeletedUser51be906d06:09, 2 January 2026 (hist) by RealDonaldTrump
Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi by DeletedUser000906:08, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Dr Manplayer  06:08, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Timbuktu  06:07, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Trondheim by 62.101.212.24306:06, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Portal:Literature/News by DeletedUser51be906d06:06, 2 January 2026 (hist) by RealDonaldTrump
War on Spinach by 24.93.151.4406:03, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Portal:Literature/Selected Poems by DeletedUser51be906d06:03, 2 January 2026 (hist) by RealDonaldTrump
Red Panda  06:02, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Brick smoking  05:58, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Burger  05:58, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Amnesia: The Dark Descent by EricIsOnFire05:57, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
LeBron James by 99.162.200.3805:54, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Regular K by 81.216.46.9505:51, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Noopnurf
Unreal engine by ADumbCat05:42, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Dictator  05:37, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Noopnurf
Memory by Todd Lyons05:19, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet
Motorcycle by 72.25.17.6305:14, 2 January 2026 (hist) by Soviet


Articles to fixLast Edit

...and don't forget Special:NewPages .

References[edit | edit source]

  1. I hope that clears up any possible identification issues

See also[edit | edit source]