User:Jesus F Christ/The 10 Commandments

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Jesus F Christ recently discovered 10 9 commandments while participating in a hotel arranged snorkelling trip to Tiran Island near the Sinai Penensula. In the confusion of removing his flippers Jesus F Christ had somehow exchanged trousers with an unbeknownst gentleman who had happened to be changing next to him. Later when Jesus F Christ examined the trousers he discovered the 9 commandments written inside the back left trouser pocket.

Since the discovery of the 9 commandments in the back left trouser pocket Jesus F Christ has been unable to interpret exactly how its contents should be interpreted. The following represents current state of the art Jesus F Christ perspective:

Thou shalt have no other Jesii before Thou. Except possibly Jesus Hasselhoff[edit | edit source]

Taken at its most extreme Jesus F Christ thinks this could be a general statement to the world that Jesus F Christ is way funnier than other Jesii, but with the possible exception that Jesus Hasselhoff, and only Jesus Hasselhoff might possibly be funnier than Jesus F Christ.

A more moderate position might be that although Jesus Hasselhoff's name was specifically mentioned in the 9 commandments, actually Jesus Hasselhoff's name is only a placeholder, and possibly any Jesii from the The Sacred Host of Minor Jesii could be used interchangeability. It is therefore possible that Jesus Hasselhoff was identified simply because he has a more assuming name than Jesus F Christ, implying that perhaps Jesus F Christ is actually less funny than possibly all other Jesii. Even Evil Jesus.

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images, or articles[edit | edit source]

At its most extreme this is an indication that Jesus F Christ should never make any images or articles whatsoever on Uncyclopedia. That view is considered fringe. Everyone agrees that Jesus F Christ should not create an article on Uncyclopedia about Jesus F Christ.

I'm the one at the top.

Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain[edit | edit source]

Two possibilities have currently been identified:

  1. Do not inject narcotics into your body.
  2. They are just words.

Forget the Sabbath day, though shalt not do any work[edit | edit source]

Jesus F Christ does not do any work or have much User:Jesus F Christ/Fun on any day. Regardless of the Sabbath.

Honour thy father and thy mother[edit | edit source]

At one level perhaps this means that Jesus F Christ should support Uncyclopeda's development in areas such as UN:AAN, and NotM. Or, like parents when you get older it could mean that things like WBF, Pee Review and even whatever are actually at their most important when you think you don't need them.

Thou shalt not revert other users[edit | edit source]

Me again. I'm in the middle of the 12.

To Jesus F Christ reverting is murder. Preventing another willing person from editing is considered rape. Although it is considered acceptable for Jesus F Christ to edit, and therefore effectively remove the edit of another, he may not use rollback, or undo without first discussing the edits with the user, as to do so would be considered rape.

Using undo without first discussing the edits with the user, and then pressing return straight away and not even bothering to type anything to them about why their edit stink is considered worse than rape, but not quite as bad as murder. Kinda like torturing someone almost completely to the point of death, and then reviving them ready to repeat the process.

Thou shalt not create forums[edit | edit source]

Pretty clearly and explicitly it is stated that Jesus F Christ is not allowed to create any forums on Uncyclopedia. Taking a literal translation of this commandment suggests that Jesus F Christ can not create forums, but that he could do anything else in a forums. Jesus F Christ does not like literal translations.

Thou shalt not dick about on UN:BP[edit | edit source]

Not taken to mean explicitly just ban patrol, but understood to mean any page where admins are actually trying to do their UN:JOB. Although Jesus F Christ prefers User:Jesus F Christ/JOB.

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's user page, articles, sockpuppets, or bots[edit | edit source]

This is understood to be a policy regarding how Jesus F Christ should attempt handle the coveting whilst on Uncyclopedia.

  • User page: A reference to user pages suggests that Jesus F Christ should not edit Uncyclopedia because he wants acceptance from others.
  • Articles: Indicates that Jesus F Christ can see the good side of all bad edits, regardless to which article they were made.
  • Sockpuppets: Jesus F Christ should accept the inevitability of sockpuppets, and trust that in the end everything will be fine.
  • Bots: With views changing amongst the homosexual community Jesus F Christ thinks this could mean anything. It may be a reference to not trying to establish a group of followers, and or cabal.

Through an understanding of all of the above Jesus F Christ believes that Drama is an inevitable, and sometimes productive, aspect of wiki activity.

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