Revert

Reverting is the act of making an article the crap it used to be. It is only correct if you are editing Uncyclopedia, or one of its derivatives. Being caught reverting something other than Wikipedia will result in being excommunicated from the Un-Iverse, which is worse than having the clap.

Examples of reverts

Suppose, on some sunny day by the fjord, you were looking through a book of Haikus. One such Haiku might have gone thusly:

I once received Crabs

As a lovely birthday gift

From a street walker.

You, by reading such a poem, are delighted by the insightful grasp the author has on life as a sexless l33t h4X0R like yourself, and the ruminations you have of visiting a Lady of the Night once when you were nineteen and having to shave all your pubes off because you got the crabs. Oh, that must have just been me.

After musing about your crustacean adventure, you flip the page and see a haiku like this:

Once upon a time

I was down at the river

SDKD DSPOH EKHEWPOas hasdlknnbb ADSHE

That would distress me, crabs and all. I would take that book, join the Nazi party, and burn it just to watch that haiku suffer on that page.

You get the picture.

Fortunately, when somebody does that to your Uncyclopedia article, you can revert back to the old version. For instance, an article might go something like this:

• In 1942, Chamberlain returned to Eggland assured that Hitler was really a type of Sandwich.

This is a perfectly acceptable entry into the Unchives. However, some Nazi joker, incapable of understanding the delicate balance of comedy in the aforementioned article goes and does something to this effect:

• In my ass, a rauncy cock sucker named George Lucas returned to Shitbekistan assured that Tittyfuck was really a Cuban cigar up your urethra.

This would be a great time to pull out the reverting gun.

Historical reverts

One of the many rides of Paul Revert

The earliest known reverts where done by the man for which they are named; Paul Revert. During the American Colonial Period, the British would frequently come along and add things like taxes and crumpets to the American landscape. Paul Revert would then frequently ride around and put things back the way they were. He continued to do this even after the British were banned in 1776. In fact, many parts of New England appear the same as they did over 200 years ago, thanks to Paul Revert.

The reverting gun

What, you ask, is a reverting gun? Well, let me tell you. It uses the powers of Mr. T to shock the spacetime around an article back to a previous moment in history. The reverting gun sends out two electrodes, much like a squid, and grabs hold of the little piece of time, gives it a nice jolt to make things right again.

Some suggest that +sysoped has a giant Reverting Cannon. This is pure myth, spread by ninjas, to promote fear amogst Uncyclopedians who get saucy.

Teach me to revert!

Even you, Citizen-Uncyclopedian, can learn to revert! It's as easy as enlisting in the armed forces or rationing your foodstuffs, gas, cotton, whiskey, socks, razors, and other leisure items!

• Look around your local Uncyclopedia for anything new and suspicious. If you see any vandals, often identified by their number.number.number.number name, pursue the suspect. He may be the agent of a foreign government and may be plotting against Citizen-Uncyclopedians like yourself. If it appears that the suspect has been running amuck in the Unchives shoot him! Do not ask questions. Look at the article and examine the history. Has this unknown assailant added to the article previously? What did the article look like before? These are all questions the average citizen should be asking himself, for the sake of Uncyclopedia!

If it appears that malice has been committed

Contact your local Uncyclopedia office immediately. If they are closed (which is likely), a citizen can take initiative against the crime.

• Click the history button.
• Observe previous article entries. If they are grossly different and are of a higher quality than the current article, proceed to the next step. If not, return to your household and keep a watchful eye out for treasoners.
• Click the Edit button.
• Make sure you have the correct revision (Tabbed Browsing is highly recommended during this process).
• Hover your cursor over the Save button.
• Go back and check again that you selected the correct revision.
• Repeat the last two steps three more times.
• If you are really sure you have the right revision, and that you really don't want to do something else, carefully press your mouse button while the cursor points to Save page.
• Know you are doing a service to yourself, your fellow Citizen-Uncyclopedians, and your watching and faithful government!