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Writer of the Month Award Writer of the Month March 2010 Uncyclopedian of the Year Award Uncyclopedian of the Year 2007 Uncyclopedian of the Month Award Uncyclopedian of the Month May 2013

This user is not on vacation, sabbatical, administrative leave, or otherwise goofing off with the knowledge and/or consent of the Admins. He has actually just put this template here in a desperate attempt to prevent people from vandalising his user page. His expected date of return is yesterday. If you're lonely, or you miss them, leave a message.


NRV.png User Nominated for Ban
This user has been nominated for banning —you can vote for them to be banned or nominate your least-favourite users at FFS.
UN:Vote for Good Articles!
List of Pee Reviewers
My... um... "guest book" for you to sign?
Stop hand nuvola alternate.svg This user has been blocked
243 times.

Error: [[:File:NumptyPic.jpg]] does not exist.

“That Cajek fellow removed my custom quote from his page. Bastard.”~ Staircase

"It is coming before christ it roamed" - From "Dickasaurus"

(try another)

~ User:Under user/spectacular fails


“They say the man with the gun makes the facts, and Tito's a man with a gun, knife, nunchucks, and a jar full of scorpions on his person at all times.”  Why?:You shouldn't mess with Tito

ViewPurgeSuggest QuotesQuote of the Day


01:35, 15 June 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You know, you're probably the dumbest person I've ever seen. That's saying a lot, you know. You should be proud.)

~ Special:log





What? No, I don't think I've got anything on my head. Why would you question that oh god get it off GET IT AAAAAA

User:Cajek/Unsignpost Ballcradle.jpg

Clock.gif This user has been on Uncyclopedia for
13 years, 11 months and 21 days.


The UnSignpost: Best before Friday![edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 00:00, June 2, 2011 (UTC)

UnSignpost: December 1st, 2011[edit]

~ Fnoodle (talk) (my creator) 05:01, December 1, 2011 (UTC)

Fuck this shit[edit]

|Dear regular Uncyc members:

You are all being really fucking stupid about this. I mean, an admin strike over a domain name? Really? Hell, I didn't know we were unionised!

But if that's the official position of the main userbase, then I guess fuck it, I'm removing myself from it. Truth be told, I've been coming to Uncyc less and less lately, and this is part of the reason why: too much fucking drama and not enough fucking common sense. Fuck, guys, Nin would be proud of what you've become: Dramapedia.

So in short, I quit. Have fun without me. God help you.

--Hinoa F. Arash

(PS. But before I leave, there's something else I need to do--something I said I'd do if I ever got pissed off enough at this place. Hold on a second; you'll see it.)


|Q|V|F|D| |&| |N|o|f|u|
    my anti-drug
You have Nofu massages.

“Пламена ада покроют ваше тело в горящей боли.”~ Ggarfield on being evil


You were whored once by an evil man who has gone from the dark side to the side of goodness. He has ended his whoring ways. he has crawled out of his swamp of depression. He has taken up golf and fishing. He has shaved his face. He has taken a shower. He has eaten breakfast. He has put on a white suit. He has gone back to work. He has gotten engaged. He has taken away the hot picture that used to be here. This template replaces the evil whoring he once did. He is sorry. This message was paid for with positive energy and love

Whore of the Month Award Whore of the Month December 2007


“As far as adopters go, Ggarfield is more "behind the scenes"”~ Cajek on not being adopted by Garfield

“I may be discreet, but I always keep an eye on my adoptees”~ Le Marquis de Nofu on watching Cajek have sex

6.5 This user has written 6.5 articles because they like to keep busy while shirking real life responsibilities.

User goodthink U.W.P member.

Helper of needy, destroyer of ungood.
Member of the Order
Gun Using Nutcase

Ggarfield, Le Marquis de Nofu, the man with the golden Nofu[edit]

Ask not with this user can do for you, ask what you can do for this user!

Hi I'm Ggarfield, and I like fishing. Trout taste good. I want a Browning Citori. I also like pie. Ok, ok, I get bored of randomness quickly, just like <insert name here>, but lets face it, I'm totally nuts full of inner randomness. I mean,come on, just picture someone who knows more about guns than a Field Officer, can knit a sweater that would not only fit your fat ass you overweight foo YOU, but would win you countless complements from old women, can bake, loves fishing, web development, goes to online school, writes for his school paper, and finally, has a vast knowledge of many types of history. I'm pretty nuts like I said fricken awesome, eh? Furthermore, I like English and Science and shooting clay pigeons and hunting deer and making websites, and now I'm here! Watch out, I will probably have taken over your brain within a number of minutes after reading this!


There is no other like Favre. This man is like Super-Jesus-Master-of-the-North!

<insert name here>:If this is a BIO, then what was that?

Ggarfield: Never you mind. Anyway, here's a poetry BIO:

I come from the state of Wisconsin,

The land of the milk and the cheese,

Where God speaks only with cheeseheads,

It's ironic that cheese makes me sneeze.


(Adapted from famous colonial rhyme about Boston)

Final Thoughts[edit]

Miss Unsoc.png

Seriously, if you want to talk about some article I've written, or just leave me some random award that I wouldn't deserve other than the fact that it means nothing anyway, add (with the +) some talk in the discussion area. Use a subject. If you are an admin, I want you to make my rank more official! It is already very official part of the way there, but you could help. Ask me how.

If you want to feel the love, go find a hooker! go away! I'm cynical, I can't spell without Spellchecker, and I am a member of a select branch of aristocracy known as the Nofu. I'm also notedly funny, and I DO specialize in making fun of the people that love Jesus, by loving Jesus in my own way. Contrary to popular belief, Jesus wasn't funny until I met him, and spiced things up. It spread like wild fire. My religion is Canadianism.

Don't believe it? Check it: Canadian_Jesus and Communist_Jesus

Also try:

Wire tapping - Yeah, it's my favorite

UnNews:FOX NEWS Buys Uncyclopedia - need I say more?

Model 94 Winchester - It's not at all Bad, and it's not entirely mine - I collaborated with user:MaddMax

Goroxide Ultimatum

user:Ggarfield/FDA - This is my latest project still in its fledgling stages. It will be great some day soon!

user:Ggarfield/Order_of_Nofu - The order of Nofu Project will begin shortly

user:Ggarfield/Bank of Nofu - a Bank were we Nofu Aristocrats keep our dough

User:Ggarfield/A Series of Unformal Events - It's an UnBook in the making

UnBooks:The Bootylicious Beginning - it's made!

Once again, thanks! (Or did I even thank you nofus in the first place?)