UnNews:Main Page Btest

UnNewsNew.css

Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»		Latest news  Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations Trump awarded prestigious award by Greenpeace Delaware proven to not exist Car crash foiled by kid's reflexes Robert F. Kennedy Jr. eats every last panda Asdfghjkldgfhdgjddhga Kardashian and Ye do washed up things Kenyan village overrun by Grues overnight 'Cavemans could have never known to use stone' Psuedoarchaeologist says We have road copters CDC announces wonderful plan to prove vaccines cause autism Mummy Pig's pregnancy sparks paternity drama Doof finally takes over Tri-State Area; World in shock UnNews remembers Michelle Trachtenberg Democrats fight Republican agenda with disapproving tsk tsks Cinema ceiling makes dramatic entrance during Captain America screening The American Civil War Is Imminent – All Because of Swifties DOGE implements micromanaging Microsoft develops new state of matter Huw Edwards Found Guilty of All Sexual Crimes in History, Ordered to Pay Unprece... » Older news
Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the country: The United States of Quebec. Full story»	Uncyclopedia says it’s losing contributors The online knee-jerk spoofopedia that is written entirely by quadriplegics, iSexuals, biSexuals, trySexuals, perverts, degenerates, tardy school children, farm animals, kindergarten teachers, Wikipedia rejects, peg-legged whalers, washed up 1st graders, and a few bearded-ladies (plus a honey or 2), is losing contributors Full story»
People overweight, and it's their fault, at all time low “If the additional fat is a product of modern society, you should not be given Diabetes by some facist doctor,” Full story»	Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisser on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais. Full story»
Sections (Archived indexes) Comics • Horoscopes • UnMagazine • Weather Religion OpEd • Letters • Columns • A.T.B.F. Sports Washington Bureau Oil Spill Sappy
Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Minitrue ± What's This? Seventh Day Adventists arrive one day early Tony Curtis family put Snail and Oyster farm up for sale Madonna bequeaths her veins to lute stringing company Christians murder 50 in USA multi city spree today-Muslim world appalled Iranian railways running on Axles of Evil says Palin	Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive. 11 Sep: Korans may have been burned today (2:53, 1.99 Mb, info) • story 8 Sep: Bush to be stripped of Heisman trophy (2:29, 1.71 Mb, info) • story 7 Sep: US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults (3:03, 2.09 Mb, info) • story 5 Sep: Jimbo Wales hopes to cash in on micro-commerce (3:15, 2.24 Mb, info) • story {{{18}}} ({{{19}}}, info) • [[{{{20}}}|story]] [[Media:{{{21}}}|{{{22}}}]] ({{{23}}}, [[:Image:{{{21}}}|info]]) • [[{{{24}}}|story]]
About UnNews UnNews is a project of the Uncyclomedia Foundation. It spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 8 April 2022: New Weird Al song will salute the women of Ukraine 8 April 2020: Bernie endorses Biden, who is seen clawing at air and drooling after instinctively sensing pussy 8 April 2018: You're fired 8 April 2014: Mickey Rooney dead at age 93; millions confused 8 April 2013: Margaret Thatcher tragically dies 30 years too late 8 April 2012: Tom Boonen wins Paris-Roubaix cycling race while smoking a cigar 8 April 2011: Fox News dumps Glenn Beck 8 April 2010: IPad selling briskly, whatever it is 8 April 2009: Hogwarts marijuana factory busted 8 April 2007: Harvard decides to cease admissions 8 April 2006: President Bush declares 'Kenya have weapons of mass destruction'	UnFunnies for April 8
{{{1}}} {{{2}}}
{{{1}}} {{{2}}}