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Wednesday, January 15, 2025, 07:47 (UTC) How to Write UnNews • Random Article • UnNews Archives

Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»		Latest news  Smokey Bear revealed to be the 1 Donald Trump accidentally sets California ablaze after consuming a gas station b... Drunk pink elephant sees man at New Years' party Where did coal for naughty kids come from? Santa explains how he once used slave... Panama Canal threatened by rising sea levels Santa Shot Down Testing Sleigh Config; Christmas Cancelled We asked our readers what they do with horrid itchy Christmas sweaters Kevin McCallister, now NFL player Joe Burrow, finally robbed Luigi apprehended for shooting United Healthcare CEO Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Five Kids found missing in a Chuck E. Cheese Location South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol accidentally declares martial law while ord... Grover Cleveland pretty depressed after Trump takes his one cool thing KKK grand wizard woke up from a terrible dream last night Drunk Alabama football fan comments on the team's recent performance President pardons Princess Peach and Blossom Bitchless men and pick me girls are now saying "your body my rules" in order to ... Project 2025 delayed, causing riots Epstein pal President-elect Trump picks sex trafficking pedophile Matt Gaetz as ... Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA » Older news
Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the country: The United States of Quebec. Full story»	Uncyclopedia says it’s losing contributors The online knee-jerk spoofopedia that is written entirely by quadriplegics, iSexuals, biSexuals, trySexuals, perverts, degenerates, tardy school children, farm animals, kindergarten teachers, Wikipedia rejects, peg-legged whalers, washed up 1st graders, and a few bearded-ladies (plus a honey or 2), is losing contributors Full story»
People overweight, and it's their fault, at all time low “If the additional fat is a product of modern society, you should not be given Diabetes by some facist doctor,” Full story»	Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisser on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais. Full story»
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Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Minitrue ± What's This? Seventh Day Adventists arrive one day early Tony Curtis family put Snail and Oyster farm up for sale Madonna bequeaths her veins to lute stringing company Christians murder 50 in USA multi city spree today-Muslim world appalled Iranian railways running on Axles of Evil says Palin	Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive. 11 Sep: Korans may have been burned today (2:53, 1.99 Mb, info) • story 8 Sep: Bush to be stripped of Heisman trophy (2:29, 1.71 Mb, info) • story 7 Sep: US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults (3:03, 2.09 Mb, info) • story 5 Sep: Jimbo Wales hopes to cash in on micro-commerce (3:15, 2.24 Mb, info) • story {{{18}}} ({{{19}}}, info) • [[{{{20}}}|story]] [[Media:{{{21}}}|{{{22}}}]] ({{{23}}}, [[:Image:{{{21}}}|info]]) • [[{{{24}}}|story]]
About UnNews An Uncyclomedia project UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 15 January 2017: Snakes on a Plane gets a Bollywood remake 15 January 2013: Indian bus drivers forced to declare rape intentions 15 January 2011: Zodiac wrong, world copes 15 January 2010: Haiti quake is divine retribution, says Pat Robertson 15 January 2009: "Saw VI" got a G-rating by the MPAA 15 January 2008: Uncyclopedia cabinet tightens visa policy for all Malaysian government workers from the Department of Homeland Security 15 January 2007: BBC plans documentary "I Love The C-Word"	UnFunnies for January 15
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