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Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»		Latest news Starmer's approval rating sinks down by about six or seven points Russian ship shines laser pointer at British planes DeSantis signs Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and ... Russian economy on life support Starmer to ban reselling tickets Pennsylvania legalises flying cars Union City celebrated 250th anniversary of Marines Trump kills the penny Russia’s new humanoid robot faceplants on stage Thieves steal six seven Roman statues from Syrian National Museum Ayy mon, they be da Hurricane in Jamaica! UK sends so-called “military experts” to Belgium to deal with drone attacks A new candidate enters 2028 Presidential race A dingo ate my baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky Star Over 1000 flights cancelled due to US government shutdown GD creator postpones 2.3 again. Mark Sanchez buttfumbles again US Government shits itself Trump gets COVID booster shot despite supporters making their entire personaliti... » Older news
Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the country: The United States of Quebec. Full story»	Uncyclopedia says it’s losing contributors The online knee-jerk spoofopedia that is written entirely by quadriplegics, iSexuals, biSexuals, trySexuals, perverts, degenerates, tardy school children, farm animals, kindergarten teachers, Wikipedia rejects, peg-legged whalers, washed up 1st graders, and a few bearded-ladies (plus a honey or 2), is losing contributors Full story»
People overweight, and it's their fault, at all time low “If the additional fat is a product of modern society, you should not be given Diabetes by some facist doctor,” Full story»	Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisser on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais. Full story»
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Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Minitrue ± What's This? Seventh Day Adventists arrive one day early Tony Curtis family put Snail and Oyster farm up for sale Madonna bequeaths her veins to lute stringing company Christians murder 50 in USA multi city spree today-Muslim world appalled Iranian railways running on Axles of Evil says Palin	Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive. 11 Sep: Korans may have been burned today (2:53, 1.99 Mb, info) • story 8 Sep: Bush to be stripped of Heisman trophy (2:29, 1.71 Mb, info) • story 7 Sep: US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults (3:03, 2.09 Mb, info) • story 5 Sep: Jimbo Wales hopes to cash in on micro-commerce (3:15, 2.24 Mb, info) • story {{{18}}} ({{{19}}}, info) • [[{{{20}}}|story]] [[Media:{{{21}}}|{{{22}}}]] ({{{23}}}, [[:Image:{{{21}}}|info]]) • [[{{{24}}}|story]]
About UnNews UnNews is a project of the Uncyclomedia Foundation. It spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 26 November 2024: President pardons Princess Peach and Blossom 26 November 2023: UnSports NFL update: 2023 belated mid-season edition 26 November 2022: San Diego, California Prepares for Annual 'Festival of Boobies' 26 November 2014: Racism ended world wide because of Facebook status update 26 November 2012: It's NOT Macho Time, nor will it ever be again 26 November 2010: North Korea welcomes Sarah Palin's support 26 November 2009: Irish Church criticized for inflating the amount of abuses 26 November 2007: Man accuses media of overhyping everything; accusation may lead to World War III 26 November 2006: Diana to play concert	UnFunnies for November 26
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