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Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»		Latest news  A dingo ate my baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky Star GD creator postpones 2.3 again. Mark Sanchez buttfumbles again US Government shits itself Trump gets COVID booster shot despite supporters making their entire personaliti... Keir Starmer announces plans for new data harvesting scheme Trump declares war on escalators Nigel Farage asked nicely to stop lifting children UnNews state-sponsoredly remembers Charlie Kirk Man eats salmon sliders, doesn't know they're basically salmon burgers Sheeranism becomes legally recognized in the United States Angela Rayner defects to Reform NFL teams replace their female cheerleaders with gay dudes Donald Trump presents new science project to Cabinet You're too young to read this article Trump announces plan to "retake DC... Comics" Local Florist Gets Arrested After DUI Crash Leaves Victim in Critical Condition Keir Starmer to place national ban on VPNs Trump fires Zakk Wylde from Black Label Society » Older news
Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the country: The United States of Quebec. Full story»	Uncyclopedia says it’s losing contributors The online knee-jerk spoofopedia that is written entirely by quadriplegics, iSexuals, biSexuals, trySexuals, perverts, degenerates, tardy school children, farm animals, kindergarten teachers, Wikipedia rejects, peg-legged whalers, washed up 1st graders, and a few bearded-ladies (plus a honey or 2), is losing contributors Full story»
People overweight, and it's their fault, at all time low “If the additional fat is a product of modern society, you should not be given Diabetes by some facist doctor,” Full story»	Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisser on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais. Full story»
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Write an article! Simply enter the headline in the box below and click the button to create your own UnNews article! Guide to UnNews	Minitrue ± What's This? Seventh Day Adventists arrive one day early Tony Curtis family put Snail and Oyster farm up for sale Madonna bequeaths her veins to lute stringing company Christians murder 50 in USA multi city spree today-Muslim world appalled Iranian railways running on Axles of Evil says Palin	Recent UnNews Audio ± Podcast | Archive. 11 Sep: Korans may have been burned today (2:53, 1.99 Mb, info) • story 8 Sep: Bush to be stripped of Heisman trophy (2:29, 1.71 Mb, info) • story 7 Sep: US briefly takes lead in war of religious insults (3:03, 2.09 Mb, info) • story 5 Sep: Jimbo Wales hopes to cash in on micro-commerce (3:15, 2.24 Mb, info) • story {{{18}}} ({{{19}}}, info) • [[{{{20}}}|story]] [[Media:{{{21}}}|{{{22}}}]] ({{{23}}}, [[:Image:{{{21}}}|info]]) • [[{{{24}}}|story]]
About UnNews UnNews is a project of the Uncyclomedia Foundation. It spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 3 November 2024: Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" 3 November 2020: Mystery of the Dollar Tree shit smears 3 November 2018: Vote your ass off 3 November 2011: Bike crash death scuppers UN population predication 3 November 2010: Election landslide in US newsrooms 3 November 2009: Listening to Metallica music proves to be "torture" 3 November 2008: This article was attacked by terrorists 3 November 2007: My son makes the play of the game 3 November 2006: Kayne West upset over loss at VFH 3 November 2005: America's top strategist dies in Iraq	UnFunnies for November 3 After leading his team to another victory in the ICC Champions Trophy, Aussie cricketer Adam Gilchrist finds time to compete in the British Masters snooker competition.
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