UnNews:Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
22 August 2011
PARIS, France -- Legendary French actor Gerard Depardieu is to receive an award for publically urinating on a scheduled flight between Paris and Dublin. A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisseur on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais.
Hailing Depardieu's act as example of French savoir faire and disregard of 'petit-bourgeois Anglo-Saxon Sanctimoniousness ', the influential Comédie-Française said Depardieu's decision to piss in a bottle rather than endangering himself with a burst bladder was in the tradition of French culture. A Monsier Hulot took out his pipe and added:-
It is like a page out of Emile Zola. The Irresistible force of nature that is Depardieu comes up against the immovable pathetic Health and Safety concerns of some frigid air hostesses. So what that they objected at being presented with an example of French peasant masculinity in its raw state instead of the usual slopping shoulders and extended beer bellies of English halfwits and their atrocious wives? The people who saw this should not have been appalled but asked instead that Depardieu's urine be preserved. What would you prefer to have on holiday? a can of Guinness or Gerard Depardieu's bottled piss?? I know what my answer would be!!!
The new Legion de Pisseur award will join France's other honours like the Legion de Bruni for all those who have seen France's First Slapper naked, the Legion de Sarkozy for those with very thin skins and the much prized, Croix de Hallyday for all those who have had to endure listening to the French Elvis. Gerard Depardieu was unavailable for comment as he is currently pissed as a French artist.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Staff "Gerard Depardieu Takes the Piss" Daily Mail, August 18, 2011
- Staff "Gerard Depardieu blames his prostate for urinating in public" Daily Telegraph, August 18, 2011