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Valet: Accused UBS bank trader sorry beyond recollection A fancy-ass melanin-challenged bank trader accused of fraud in connection with a $2.3 billion loss in unauthorized trading reported by Swiss giant UBS is “sorry beyond recollection,” his Valet said Thursday, because now he cannot remember where he stashed the money. Full story»		Latest news  Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA 10-year old math prodigy just realized Santa can't eat all those cookies Obama smears poop on day care Countries Unveil Breakfast Cereal Plan Controversial Judge Rotenberg Center Rebrands as "Lösungen zur Unterdrückung u... Leopards finally getting ready to eat people's faces next year Kardashian, Aniston endorse bestiality OH MY GOD WHAT THE FREAK Trump just won, so here's a special HowTo about dealing with the hard times that... Biden wins 2024 election NFL player Sam Darnold emerges from election anarchy, crowned GEQBUS Kamala Harris Defeats Donald Trump, Becomes 47th President of USA Welp, Harris lost 2024 U.S. election cancelled, anarchy inevitable Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" New Drug Craze in Schools "Planing" Peter gets dementia to stop stupid cutaways on next week's Family Guy Trick-or-treat group across the street use "weakest link" Liam to test candy for... Springfield infant arrested for second Trump shooting Obama encourages dead people: "Don't boo, vote!" » Older news
Jack Layton passes away, even separatist Quebecers mourn Mr. Jack Layton passed away today while fighting 300 CIA agents, destroying most of them, drawing sympathy from an unlikely part of the country: The United States of Quebec. Full story»	Uncyclopedia says it’s losing contributors The online knee-jerk spoofopedia that is written entirely by quadriplegics, iSexuals, biSexuals, trySexuals, perverts, degenerates, tardy school children, farm animals, kindergarten teachers, Wikipedia rejects, peg-legged whalers, washed up 1st graders, and a few bearded-ladies (plus a honey or 2), is losing contributors Full story»
People overweight, and it's their fault, at all time low “If the additional fat is a product of modern society, you should not be given Diabetes by some facist doctor,” Full story»	Gerard Depardieu first recipient of the Legion de Pisser A panel of French cultural experts have applauded Depardieu's decision to pull out his penis in the economy class and now want to pin a medal of the Legion de Pisser on Depardieu's Saucisse Francais. Full story»
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About UnNews An Uncyclomedia project UnNews is a service of Uncyclopedia that spreads misinformation and cons the public into swallowing it hook-line-and-sinker (and worm), by guilefully making it resemble authentic news articles. UnNews stories use satire to ensure the most unfair and biased reporting possible.	This day in news... 12 November 2021: Oscar the Grouch, Bert fired from Sesame Street over vaccine mandate 12 November 2014: Kids book to feature random homeless man 12 November 2012: Remembrance day remembered 12 November 2010: Mountain may sue area businesses 12 November 2009: Clinton, Merkel and me in a global war to destroy all men (and keep a few as sex slaves), by Harriet Harman 12 November 2008: Florida Man Goes On Wild Killing Spree 12 November 2007: AP Style Fake News No Longer Funny 12 November 2006: Andy Griffith sues himself	UnFunnies for November 12 Find the figurative language in this UnToon and WIN A 2006 Crapmobile Turdus!!!
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