Portal:Games

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Sports Portal)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Uncyclopedia Portals: Art · Business · Culinary · Games · History · Music · People · Politics · Religion · Science · Society · Technology · All...
edit 

The Games and Sports Portal

Hey, gimme a go.

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby.

Modern sports include Real Football, Baseball, Kitten Huffing, Curling, Snooking, Sockey, Kitten Hurling, Chucking loads of Elephant Poo at each other, Sailing and Monkey Waxing. Every 5 years the Olympiad is played in these and three other grand sports. It is an international competition open to all nations, which originated with the Geeks, an ancient civilization of people with thick glasses and a penchant for VRML tags. People have been throwin' the pigskin, hurlin stones, and waxing monkeys for decades with no stop in sight. This event is ultra-telecast on multilive video feeds on a number of stations worldwide. The soft drink revenues from the event are in the billions, but hey you don't need to know that, you're too busy watchin koko get a clean wax job. (Full article...)


edit 

Selected Article

World Series of Ironing champion.

Ironing, the respected worldwide sport we know today. Ironing, derived as are modern business suits and certain poodle haircuts from the Victorian era, is an extreme sport which may yet burst with internal pressure onto the Olympic stage.


Simply, ironing is the unusual mechanical process of applying heat and pressure to an article of clothing or linen, with the purpose of making the said article smooth and therefore attractive... (Full article...)

edit 

Things You Can Do

edit 

Selected Image

FIFA 2010

The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Sonje Image archive


edit 

Did You Know...

  • ...Playwright, novelist, musician, poet, philanthropist, historian, short story writer - these are just a few of the professions of individuals that Oscar Wilde has corrupted with his rampant sexuality and Rabelaisian appetites.
  • ...Have you ever realized that someday you could be trapped eternally inside a Role-Playing Game? This usually happens by playing Chrono Trigger during a thunderstorm or just by going into a Ghost Train ride at a suspicious amusement park with your friends. This is when a portal opens to the place where Dungeons and Dragons happens for real. You see a big light, then poof, you faint. When you wake up, you see some dancing mushrooms passing by and a group of weird guys following the thing holding spears, bows and wearing robes (or you may be high on LSD). You finally realize that now you are living inside a real-life RPG. Grab those potions my friend and let's move through that field, shall we?
edit 

Recognized Articles

Featured Articles

edit 

Categories

Jesus-bball-socks.png

Board Games - Cards - Computer Games - Departure of Fun - Drinking Games - Fighting Games - GameFAQs - Games for Mac OS - Grand Theft Auto - MMORPGs - Mortal Kombat - PacMan - Puzzles - Role playing games - RuneScape - Sports - Uncyclopedia Games - Uncyclopoly - Video games - Vile racism - War Games - World of Warcraft - Xbox Live Members

edit 

Other Portals

Portals complement main topics in Uncyclopedia that nobody cares about, and expand upon topics that nobody cares even less about.