Portal:Games

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The Games and Sports Portal

Hey, gimme a go.

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby.

Modern sports include Real Football, Baseball, Kitten Huffing, Curling, Snooking, Sockey, Kitten Hurling, Chucking loads of Elephant Poo at each other, Sailing and Monkey Waxing. Every 5 years the Olympiad is played in these and three other grand sports. It is an international competition open to all nations, which originated with the Geeks, an ancient civilization of people with thick glasses and a penchant for VRML tags. People have been throwin' the pigskin, hurlin stones, and waxing monkeys for decades with no stop in sight. This event is ultra-telecast on multilive video feeds on a number of stations worldwide. The soft drink revenues from the event are in the billions, but hey you don't need to know that, you're too busy watchin koko get a clean wax job. (Full article...)


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Selected Article

World Series of Ironing champion.

Ironing, the respected worldwide sport we know today. Ironing, derived as are modern business suits and certain poodle haircuts from the Victorian era, is an extreme sport which may yet burst with internal pressure onto the Olympic stage.


Simply, ironing is the unusual mechanical process of applying heat and pressure to an article of clothing or linen, with the purpose of making the said article smooth and therefore attractive... (Full article...)

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Things You Can Do

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Selected Image

FIFA 2010

The revised logo for the 2010 FIFA World Cup in South Africa.

Nominate stuff Image credit: Sonje Image archive


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Did You Know...

  • The Birmingham Niggers are a professional American Minor League Baseball team from the windswept steppes of Birmingham, Alabama. Most news outlets consider the name offensive, and refuse to advertise any upcoming games or print any statistics for the team.
  • ...Jingo! is a game of physical and mental skill, first played in Europe during the 17th, 18th and 19th Centuries, particularly popular in England, where it is said to have been invented, but that has recently become de rigueur amongst American culture, especially throughout the nation's many colonies worldwide.
  • ...Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century B.C. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using fake drachma and bartering.
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Recognized Articles

Featured Articles

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Categories

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Board Games - Cards - Computer Games - Departure of Fun - Drinking Games - Fighting Games - GameFAQs - Games for Mac OS - Grand Theft Auto - MMORPGs - Mortal Kombat - PacMan - Puzzles - Role playing games - RuneScape - Sports - Uncyclopedia Games - Uncyclopoly - Video games - Vile racism - War Games - World of Warcraft - Xbox Live Members

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