Portal:Games

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Games & Sports Portal
Go Eagles!

Going back thousands of years through the anals of time, man's penchant for sport (pronounced spurt) is limitless and bounding. Competition has both raised the blood to passionate fervency and reconfirmed the eternal greatness of mankind throughout the centuries. Among the first sports was rungold, which consisted of one man standing at the top of a hill next to a huge boulder, and another man one hundred paces down. The first man would push the massive rock down the hill, and the object was that the second man had to "return it."

Another early sport was Sokur, an archaic game in which players would kick a round object with their feet with the object being to get the ball into either of two makeshift structures called "nets" (usually made out of tungsten weed, or spiderwebs). This game quickly fell out of favor when it was discovered that the object could be picked up with the hands, eventually leading to modern-day Rugby. (See more...)

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The Drunk Olympics, a spinoff of The (not drunk) Olympics, is an athletic competition in which all participating athletes compete in sporting events while intoxicated far beyond the typical human breaking point. The first Drunk Olympics took place in Utah in 2005. It was during the Drunk Olympics that the popular recreational sport Cup Stacking was born.

In January of 2004, Bode Miller made a bold, controversial statement regarding skiing while intoxicated. During a midday drinking binge, Miller appeared on ESPN2, proudly proclaiming: "EAAMPH, Airgve Glub Spleeekd Waidaaded HAHAHA!!" After consulting the Oxford Drunk-to-English Dictionary, Miller's statement was roughly translated to "yes, I've gone skiing wasted. Hahaha." ESPNEWS anchor Steve Berthiaume became noticeably upset.

Later, a videotape of Bode surfaced on YouTube. The 6-minute recording featured Miller skiing erratically, falling, swigging from a hip flask of Whiskey, then attempting to ski back up the same slope from which he descended. When athlete John Paul George Smith saw this video, he was touched, and inspired. "I was inspired by Miller's drunken skiing. And I was inspired by it, also"

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An atypical poker hand, you may need to bring the screen right up to your face to notice.
Image by Sonje
Did You Know?
  • ... The Reich thanks you for tuning in to this special broadcast of the Nineteen Thirty-Six Nuremberg Rally! All the beer and sausages in Bavaria can't keep you from this great sport, we know.
  • ... In real football, the ball is held by the hands 95% of the time - regardless of what those damned Limeys say.
  • ... The Royal Pointless Military Things Tournament is an annual event hosted by the Elite General Blundering Around Division of the British armed forces. It is open to all pointless forces members, from those who are no good at fighting but can march very well, to the man in charge of feeding the regimental mascot sheep.
  • ... Cup Stacking is a fringe pseudo-sport championed by young white children all across the Midwest, where real sports have been declared the Olympics of Satan and thus outlawed.
  • ... Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century B.C. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using fake drachma and bartering.
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