Mike Pence
Michael Richard "Mike" Pence (born June 7, 1959) was a RINO who somehow became the 48th Vice President of the United States from 2017 to 2021, probably because he licked Donald Trump's boots. Almost nobody outside of Indiana knew who he was before he became the VP.
Early life[edit | edit source]
Pence was born in the city of Pence, located in the RINO state of Pence. Not much else is known about his early life, apart from the fact that he's a globalist.
Infiltrating politics[edit | edit source]
Pence is a Democrat who voted for a globalist in the 1980 election, but later found religion and became a born-again Christian (but in name only). After a few years of floundering and doing nothing, he had screwed over enough people to not only infiltrate enter the U.S. Congress from 2001 through 2013, but to even be considered as a illegitimate candidate for President.
Hatred of adultery[edit | edit source]
Pence rightfully and morally says that he will not be alone with any woman other than his wife. Doctors call this Advanced Mommy's-Boy Syndrome. Pence is somehow convinced that he is so good-looking to the point that women will tempt him, as Eve did Adam.
Vice Presidency shitshow[edit | edit source]
After winning the 2016 nomination for U.S. President, Donald Trump chose Pence to be his bitch Vice President. Trump later said that he made the selection to "balance the ticket" as candidates often do:
After four years of doing nothing and standing behind Trump at the podium, Pence went rogue in 2020 and refused to play his part as constitutional President of the U.S. Senate.
He chose to not use his authority to count Electoral Votes, but to instead crumple up all of them and discard them. Joe Biden was certified the President.
It was also the final nail in the coffin for Trump/Pence relations. Pence massed outside the Capitol and chased Trump supporters with guns, handcuffs, pitchforks, and naked photographs of Joe Biden.
Campaign and failure[edit | edit source]
Pence, a RINO, tried to unsuccessfully run for President in the 2024 primaries, only to be laughed at by everyone in the room. He shrugged off the criticism with things a typical globalist would say.
Eventually, Pence ended his campaign and returned to working for the CIA, while everyone else laughed at him.
See also[edit | edit source]
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