I'll Never Play in China Again

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I'll Never Play in China Again
Album by Paul McCartney
Expected Release Date September 11, 2006
Recorded 2005
Genre Psychedelia
Length 50:01
Record label MPL Communications
Producers George Martin
Professional reviews
Jackie Chan review 0/5 - Pol Macaney ees bery dom. I do knot lah eek his myou sick.
The Rolling Stones review 2/5 - "Finally, McCartney causes controversy - about time."
Tom Cruise review 5/5 - "McCartney did the research."
McCartney Albums
Rubber Soul
I'll Never Play in China Again
Chaos and Creation in the Backyard
That Asian hater McCartney! I'll never buy his records again!

A Chinese man on I'll Never Play in China Again

I don't blame McCartney for not wanting to play in China. I went there last summer and they stole my Dell.

Oscar Wilde on I'll Never Play in China Again

I'll Never Play In China Again is a rock album by British musician Paul McCartney, released on September 11, 2006. The album gets its title from McCartney's dislike of Chinese people, his anti-fur sentiments, and from a song called "I'll Never go to Japan again", which was released in the polemical album Ringo Needs Some Money.

Politicians in the United States have accused this album of blasphemy and of insulting the U.S. government, especially in the songs "Oh, Nixon" and "Heart Attack". They also believe that McCartney is trying to mock the United States by releasing the album on the same date that marks 5 years since the terrorist attacks of Osama bin Laden on the World Trade Center. McCartney has tried time and time again to reason with them. "It is the only available date," he stated, "September 10th was taken by Christina Aguilera's "Slut", the 9th was taken by Kanye West's Don't Care About Black People, and the 12th by Britney's Oops...I Gave Birth Again. I opposed releasing the album on the 11th, but it's either then or until next year." American authorities, however, since they know what people think better than the people themselves, say McCartney is lying and is siding with terrorists.

Since July, many radio stations took to banning a few of the songs in the album despite its not being released yet. MTV producers, who want to make sure that teenagers watch only friendly, educational, harmless, and socially productive shows, have banned the song "Canadians Are Fuckin' Seal Killers" because of its use of the word Fuck. In a recent news edition, MTV had this to say: "The language in McCartney's latest album is obscene, and we at MTV never broadcast any foul language. We'll broadcast mindless violence, rebelliousness, drug use, alcohol abuse, sexual content, gore, and raping killing of innocent people, but we'll never broadcast foul language! We care about the safety of America's youth."

"Canadians Are Fuckin' Seal Killers" is also banned in Canada, along with the South Park movie. Similarly, the Chinese have banned "Chinese Apartheid" and "Boycott Beijing". In these songs, the former Beatle calls for a boycott of the 2008 Beijing Olympics and repeatedly refers to the Chinese as "chinks". McCartney said he would not allow the 2008 Olympics to be held in a place where animals were boiled, tortured, and skinned alive for fashion. Chinese workers in the fashion industry have claimed they weren't boiling the animals to kill them, they were simply "giving them a bath" - but a guy named Yu overheated the water.

Many Canadians and Chinese alike have stated, ironically, that they will never listen to Paul McCartney's music again.

Despite other controversies also caused by the album (particularly with the man and with Lou Dobbs, Paul McCartney successfully released the album featuring the following tracks:

  1. Leave My Heather Alone (McCartney)
  2. Now I'm Sixty Four (And Damn, Was My Song Wrong) (McCartney)
  3. Chinese Apartheid (McCartney)
  4. Have A Moving-On Party Tonight (McCartney/Starkey)
  5. Oh, Nixon (McCartney/Lennon)
  6. I Regret Nothing (Starkey)**
  7. No More Minefield Galas (McCartney)
  8. Boycott Beijing (McCartney/Henderson)
  9. I'm Locking You Out (McCartney/Starkey)
  10. Canadians Are Fuckin' Seal Killers (McCartney/Parker/Stone)
  11. Fiona Shackleton (Save My Savings) (McCartney)
  12. Peace and Love (Without them, you are nothing nothing nothing)(Starkey) [1]
  13. We Got Divorced (McCartney)
  14. Octopus's Garden (2006 Remix) (Starkey/Harrison)
  15. Heart Attack (The Dick Cheney song) {McCartney}
  16. Get Out Of My Life (McCartney)


  1. Written by Ringo Starr but performed by Paul McCartney.

Chart Success

As of its first week in record stores, McCartney's I'll Never Play in China Again has taken in no more than $17 million dollars, and most this revenue has come only from Britain, since no one in China, Japan, or Canada has bought the CD and almost everyone in the United States decided to make their own bootleg instead. McCartney has gotten himself into yoga to help him relieve the stress of having to deal with his wife Heather Mills nagging at him the whole time because the album didn't make more money. Heather told the press that she insisted on not releasing any songs about the Olympics or about the government on the album, but Paul wouldn't listen. This quarrel is what eventually led the couple to file for divorce. Now that McCartney faces financial complications - he'll have to pay about half of his money to his wife - Heather Mills is riding to vanity fair and laughing at Paul, saying that "he was asking for it." On September 17th, Heather encouraged Paul to organize a tour for late 2006. The "Now It's Paul Who Needs Some Money" Tour would hit every major city in America and help Paul recover the fortune that Heather is about to take from him. Paul, however, said that the idea was stupid, and that he's tired of making frickin' albums that always have the same frickin' title. Heather and Paul got into a loud argument, which ended with the two of them trying to hit each other with musical instruments in the backyard of the studio. Heather tossed a few snare drums and Paul tried to hit Heather on the head with a bass guitar. The fight turned out to be so disastrous that the police were called by an old lady next door to the studio. McCartney's company has issued Paul a bill for all the damages, which is ironically for $17 million. The managers of MPL Communications were so furious at the destruction of the studio that they have planned to tear down Paul's precious log cabin at his home state in Sussex. Paul is currently facing charges for destruction of private property, although Paul has argued that is absurd since that private property is his.