~ Confuscius on McCartneyism“How do you think I got to be so famous?”
~ Oscar Wilde on McCartneyism“In Soviet Russia, pot smokes YOU!!!”
~ Yakov Smirnoff on drugs
McCartneyism is the practice of taking mind-altering drugs to open ones mind to divine inspiration, and make the world around you a better, happier place.
Many famous artists have looked to McCartneyism for inspirations in their work. Such famous examples include: Oscar Wilde, Your Mom, Cookie Monster, Keith Richards, Adolf Hitler, Leonard Bernstein, and The Beatles. The Beatles were so crucial to the development and spread of McCartneyism that the practice was named after one of their members, Paul McCartney.
Uses[edit | edit source]
The most popular and common use of McCartneyism is to make things seem better. For example, in a time of crisis, followers of McCartneyism will just light a smoke and drift into another dimension. Though the problem never gets fixed this way, it will always seem to be fixed as long as you stay stoned.
The other use, as mentioned above is inspiration. This will usually happen when an artist has a severe case of writers block, and thus sells his house for a couple pounds of coke with which he hopes for inspiration. Then, after going to Mars and back, the artist will document his travels through the use of music, plays, paintings, or literature.
Supporters[edit | edit source]
Supporters of McCartneyism will often adorn themselves with tie-dye shirts and colorful shades. They are easy to spot due to their slow, slurred speech, a common side-effect of being a follower. If not found with a joint in their hand, they can often be seen holding signs protesting problems that don't exist.
McCartneyism in Animals[edit | edit source]
Every freakin pot-smoking hippie is an animal supporter. So why restrict the rights of drug abuse to humans? Animals have the right, in fact they have every right. Its a well-known fact animals behave better when stoned. If you give a dog some acid, it will never bite you again. Do you think its a coincidence Scooby-dooby-doos name has the word doobie right in the middle of it?
Stone the Whales, Elephants for Ecstacy, and Give Pot to the Pandas are a few examples of animal-drug rights support groups. Every year they hold a fund-raising Hippie Jam Fest, and when its over they waste those funds (all two dollars of it) on pot, which they then proceed to throw into the ocean for all the little fishies to enjoy.