Forum:Uncyclopedia:Battlefield 2007

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 4643 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.


Now, for the series of boring and stupid games, one you can flamewar under (controled by the sysops) eyes! Introducing...

Uncyclopeida:Battlefield 2007!

It's a war n a forum, that may not (or may) piss off the sysops! Kill the user you hate the most! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:39, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

Rules

  • 1. No excess flaming, just attacking each other.

*2. Five attacks and you die.

  • 3. You can revive yourself three times
  • 4. You can take cover
  • 5. Veichles at will.
  • 6. Pissing the sysops off is bad.
  • 7. HighGenGrue is the GM, and can do whatever the hell he wants.
  • 8. You can search for stuff, but most likely will find nothing, newspapers, nothing, or some cool weapons.
  • 9. There are no safe spots in the battlefield.
  • 10. You all suck, MULTI ABUSE! ZERG FLAGS! Everyone is trnasported to zergling island and is smited by lightning, spreading gore all across Saint Germaine

*11. Guns do 1 damage (Normal Rounds) Lead Pipes also do 1 damage. Everyone starts with a fist. R Bombs and junk do 2 Damage. Anything that involoved with a Abrahams M1 tank/WWIII Airplane/SCIENCE WEAPONS/CHAINSAWS THAT ARE ON FIRE deals 3 damage.

  • 12. Complaing to the GM gets you cursed by the RNG.

THERE ARE NO RULES!

Fighters

Signing in will end at midnight, September 13.

I *always* need Spellchek. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:45, 10 September 2007 (UTC)

*FUCK YEAH /me pulls out his FN P90 --BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 19:10, 10 September 2007 - LOST IN SPACE (UTC)

  • Stabby time!!! By the power of webcomics, I shall prevail!!! /me pulls out a dagger and a gun which says "Webcomic Launcher" on it. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

People who will just chip in whenever they feel like it, regardless of the rules and whether they signed up or not

Too late. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
I say we let him in. Its only been a day, and at our current rate of healing ourselfs everytime we take any damage, were gonna be here a while.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 21:52, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

FIGHT!!!!!!

Signing in over. Being in the "People who will just chip in whenever they feel like it" also counts as signing in. Now... I will attack Insineratehymn with a Shotgun for no reason. 4 HP left. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:27, 12 September 2007 (UTC)

Capercorn moves in to cover HGG, and fires his M14 at Insineratehymn, for no reason also. 3 HP left. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 23:30, 12 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian hires a group of mercenaries to kill Insineratehymn and anybody who attacks Uncyclopedian, Han, or the mercenaries. Boom. Insineratehymn has 2 HP left. Anti-Contents!! Uncyclopedian then takes over a warship/space museum called the Fuseli. Webcomics! Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
HighGenGrue Smites Capercorn and Uncyclopedian for following him around and helping him, seeing as I actually picked Insineratehymn at random. 1 HP left. Also, you still have 5 HP left. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:01, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian heals himself. Healed to 5 HP. Uncyclopedian launches the Fuseli. Uncyclopedian changes orders of mercenaries to killing Han. Uncyclopedian is in the Fuseli, a vehicle. Uncyclopedian leaves to a safe place. Han has 4 HP left. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Capercorn lobs a smoke grenade to cover Uncyclopedians movements. Capercorn then begins pumping suppressive fire down at HGG's position. Suprised, Han takes a hit. 3 HP left for Han. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 03:27, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

TheDudeMan calls in air support, resulting in mass bombings, injuring everyone except himself, who got to the bomb shelter beforehand.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 03:29, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

No AoE attacks. You may only attack one person at a time. That being said.... GM RELEASES GIANT FROGS ONTO THE FIELD --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:32, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian activates the Starslip Drive to crush Han. Mercenaries then return to killing Han. 1 HP for Han. Uncyclopedian quickly gives Capercorn a device which will get him directly into the Fuseli when activated. Uncyclopedian then activates his webcomic launcher to launch The Allosaurus and a few giant frogs at Han, as well as Kyros(Channeling 300 mana into a fireball, of course), and then starslips away to a safe spot. Han has 0 HP. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
TheDudeMan uses his Jew Money to buy out Uncyclopedian's Mercinaries, and then has them attack him. 4 HP. He then pulls out a Big Fucking Gun, and shoots it at Bonner. 4 HP for Bonner.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 03:40, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian buys Tagon's Toughs back(with the correct money for them now), and orders them to kill TDM. Uncyclopedian heals to 5 health. TDM has 4 HP. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Damn... ah well. /me doesn't revive self, and just stands around as a Zombie. BARHAH! I cannont attack or be attacked until revived. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:43, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian starslips to a safe spot, far from the combat. He then watches Kyros blow TDM up. TDM has 2 HP. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
TDM heals self. 5HP. TDM pulls out his BFG and launches a missile at Uncyclopedian. 3 HP. TDM summons a loyal grue solier. Grue eats Uncyclopedian at general TDM's request. Oh Dear. You are dead.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 03:51, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Uncyclopedian is dead, and must revive himself. He cannon attack or be attacked.

Can you understand "safe spot far from the combat"? Oh wait, you obviously can't. The missile is deflected, and the grue can't get to the Fuseli. Sorry. Here, I'll be at 4 HP. TDM is blown up by Kyros. TDM has 0 HP. Uncyclopedian is STILL in a safe spot far from the combat! Uncyclopedian stays there, safe from all attacks. He may not attack or be attacked until he moves from there. His webcomic launcher-created allies are also not attacking until he moves from there. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Either way, your Kyros only does 2 damage, according to your other attacks. Heres some basic math for you. 5-2=3 not 0. See bolded for more info. TDM moves into Grue Army Generals bunker, 5 miles under ground, safe from attack, planing his next move.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 04:16, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Kyros did not channel as much mana into his earlier fireball. Okay, he dealt 3 damage to you that second time. I am safe, in the Fuseli. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

There is no safe palce on a battlefield. Uncyclopedian is dead, and must revive himself. He cannot attack or be attacked until he revives himself. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 04:21, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

But I am off the battlefield!!! Still alive, 3 lives. I said I am far away from the battle. That means I left the battlefield temporarily! Plus, my vehicle would have stopped TDM's two attacks anyway! I am safe, out of range of all attacks from you guys, and off the battlefield for a bit. Plus, my vehicle blocks attacks to me easily. Plus, I bribe Han and TDM with a sniper rifle each. The mini-flame is over. Carry on, carry on, I am safe outside the battlefield. Temporary bye! I am far, far outside the battlefield, out of range of all of your attacks. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
He can be safe outside the battlefeild without attacking as long as I can be safe in a Army bunker 5 miles underground. To make more sence, you cant move back into safe space until 5 attacks (from any person or persons, including yourself) have been launched. Any user can use the saftey. </proposition> Good idea or not? (this is up to HGG to decide. If anyone else tries to make the decision, I'll stick Domo Kun on you)--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 05:08, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
And by the way, your attacks against me currently have to deal with range(out of range), the atmosphere(I am in space), and a warship turned museum turned warship/museum, which is tough. One with heavy defences. A big one. The Fuseli. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
SbU wanders onto the battlefield, decides this is all way too serious for an Uncyclopedian fight, hits some random person with a chair but doesn't remember who it is, and then gives everyone a million HP so that they'll stop saying HP, as it's annoying her. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 09:20, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Adava kedavra! Now you're all dead. Spang talk 02:57, 13 Sep 2007

...okay... /mrh revives self with a NecrotEch revification Syringe I attack Uncyclopedian's Frigate.. Museum.... thing... in a Closed F4U Corsaire and destroys the engine of the ship.. with MACHINE GUNS WITH ARMOR-PEIRCING and INCINDIARY ROUNDS! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 14:59, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Bonner wonders whats going on...Realises, pulls out his FN P90 and shoots THEDUDEMAN. He then smashes Strange But Untrue over the head with a coffee table and sets his Grue on spang --BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 16:46, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Leoispotter enters the battlefield, says "HUTTAH!" loudly in Han Solo's ear, confusing him. He then smashes Han Solo over the head with a lead pipe, rendering Han unconscious. Leo then locks Han in the Grue Army barracks' dreaded latrines and condemns him to a week of latrine duty. Han doesn't get a toothbrush and must clean the toilets using his tongue.-- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 19:11, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Because of TDM hiding Five Miles Underground Bonner's puny gun does nothing. TDM leaves the hiding spot and raids the Greu Army Armory. He finds 1 BFG, 1 light gun, 5 grue soldiers, several health packs and a tank, and stores all of it in a Hypercube for later usage. He gets in the tank and rives around, shooting Bonner in the crouch. CRITICAL HIT. 3 damage sustained, 1 health remaining for Bonner.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 19:30, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Bonner raids said Grue armoury and finds a FAK to heal himself up to 5Hp. Bonner also finds an FN P90, five bullets and a glass bottle.CRITICAL HIT Bonner bottles THEDUDEMAN for 2 damage --BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 19:43, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Who said you guys get to say what you find, eh? You all Search and find Nothing RNG > Players --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 20:45, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Well, we raided an armory. According to my general knowledge of video games, an armory is filled with war like stuff including but nor limited to FAKs and guns. Besides, I ordered that the armory be stocked with my favorite BFG before war broke out, just incase i needed a spare. TDM fires another blast from his tank at Bonner, reducing his health to 2 points. He also orders a squadron of grues to stand guard at the Grue Armory, so that low ranking soldiers and other n00bs cant raid it. They will rip you apart and eat you if you try.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 22:05, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian makes a Webcomic Launcher out of scrap metal, and relaunches all that stuff he had launched. He enters the new Fuseli, blows up Han's ship, and starslips away. Did I mention that the ship uses an internal transportation system called the Starslip Drive? Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
You Search and find a Newspaper. You need 9 chunks of Steel to build a Webcomic launcher, and 100 chunks of steel for a Starship. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 22:47, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
I did not build a starship. And the scrap metal should be all over, with you blowing up my engine. It should be easy to find the metal in here. You have started making this...boring. Completely boring. And nine chunks of steel for a little webcomic launcher!?! I use metal from the hull to make a Webcomic launcher...you know what happens next. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
So lets see, I am in the Fuseli I launched out of the new Webcomic Launcher that I made out of the old Fuseli. I blast Han with a boring stare. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
By the way, to make that Webcomic Launcher, I used the rules section. The part that says there are no rules. I blast Han's ship with everything I have. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Last thing: I reflect Han's power to make this boring back at him, boring him to death. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

TDM searches the area. <insert found item here>--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 22:58, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

You search and find a Lead Pipe --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 22:58, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
TDM bashes Bonner over the head with the Lead pipe. 1 health left. ...And again.
You have been killed by TheDudeMan.
...Fuck this rules are for Skwers. TDM pulls out his BFG and puts Bonner's corpse in as ammo and fires it at the Fuseli.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 23:24, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Critical Hit! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:25, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Three problems: Atmosphere, range, and heavy shielding. The attack fails. I then land and kill TDM with a newspaper(again and again), then starslip back into space. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
OH RLY???? Uncycopedian has 0 revives left. He is out of the War! --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:31, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Okay, that is being mean. I use the rulelessness of the game to return to the game with infnite revives. Mwa ha ha! Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
The Battle is over. THEDUDEMAN is thhe winner. --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 23:34, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
I use rulelessness to restart the game, with infinite revives for everyone and everyone's stuff kept to them. I am in the Fuseli. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
...I won!?!?! SWEET!!!!!--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 23:49, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Round 2: Randomness!

For round 2, you get whatever you want. Infinite revives for everyone. Invincible vehicles. Anything. With me the GM. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Okay, I begin by crushing Han's head, and giving TDM a small razor-sharp card. And I return to the Fuseli, having relaunched all my guys and stuff. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

TDM pulls a BFG, several grues, a tank, several FAKS, another tank, a Big Ass Destoryer Class Starship (now known as the King Swhickle Bobber) and a Hyper cube out of Bonner's Ass. Bonner dies from his asshole being streched to the size of a estroyer class starship.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 23:49, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Capercorn begins to shoot everyone with his M14, which Capercorn goes everywhere with. All take damage.--Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 01:23, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
Uncyclopedian, in temporary GM invincibility mode, gives everyone a small razor-sharp card. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
WTF does it do??--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 01:33, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
It is a key...to the lost weapon known as Blajkffsbgaushf. Or just a sharp weapon. Probably the latter. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
You could also just use it to cut your wrists. HA! I made an emo joke! Go me. Oh, and shoots everyone with The Hell Outta Here. Sig pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:41, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
blocks shots I am in GM invincibility mode for a reason. I need to give you all the keys to your suitcases full of your supplies! gives everyone keys Now you can blow each other up! Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Suitcases with bombs? Are you a terrorist? I'm gonna have to report this. Runs to the ca...er...people. Sig pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 01:47, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
Er, no. grabs sniper rifle and shoots Boomer's head off Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
TDM puts the card and key in his hypercube, and then proceeds to pull the lost weapon known as Blajkffsbgaushf out of Capercorn's ass. Capercorn dies from the sharp pointieness of the weapon. He puts the card in the weapon and it powers up. I wonder what this button does. He pushed a button and half of Soviet Russia sinks. That could be useful later. TDM throws it in the hyoercube for later use.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 02:12, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
One problem: That Blajkffsbgaushf...is a fake one. The real one is harder to get, and is not in Capercorn's ass. repairs Russia Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
stuffs a laser cannon down a random pedestrian's throat and fires it Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
SbU wanders in again and gives everyone permanent invincibility, just to annoy them. --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 08:30, 14 September 2007 (UTC)
Me revives...Steals a space shuttle and leaves the planet...Only to come back at the head of a UNSC battlegroup. /me orbitally bombards the planet CRITICAL MOTHERFUCKING HIT! Everyone dies. Bonner takes his fleet into the depths of space, never to be seen again.

<Bonner has left the game>
--BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 14:39, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Leoispotter once again screams, "HUTTAH!" incredibly loudly, rupturing everyone's eardrums.-- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 15:41, 15 September 2007 (UTC)
It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's Super GM! With his powers, he gives everyone earplugs. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Super GM then adds a few rules: 5 HP each player, infinite revives, winner is the one who gets Blajkffsbgaushf. Blajkffsbgaushf is hard to get. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

TDM kills everyone infinite times. Give me my Blajkffsbgaushf--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 02:05, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

No. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Lord Fluffy appears in space, in a whirling maelstrom of fire and lightning. He starts to advance slowly toward Earth, bumps into the Fuseli. Lord Fluffy gets annoyed, uses God Powers to annihilate the Fuseli.

      • Lord Fluffy is now an available Summon***

--Lord Fluffy who rains fire from the heavens 13:15, 16 September 2007 (UTC)

Super GM recreates the Fuseli, and summons Fluffy. He then strangles Fluffy to death. SUPER GM!!! Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

Capercorn summons Lord Fluffy. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 14:31, 22 September 2007 (UTC)

Comments

Place comments and chat here please. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

I am starting an alliance. Anyone who allies with me gets the forces of webcomics. They also get to be on the Fuseli, straight from a webcomic. Come join the Webcomic Alliance! Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

I'm in. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 01:23, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Very good. Welcome...to the Webcomic Alliance!!! The Allosaurus performing a Starslip while hiring Tagon's Toughs and allying with the Order of the Stick! Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!
Okay... shut up before I place Giant Frogs onto the field. (DoIOF was demtoted (Again), right? --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 03:27, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
Yes. Hatmaking is doing double duty now, taking IOF's job. And Abrasion by a Mars Rover was demoted to Sat On. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

No alliances. MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 01:25, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

1 PUNY DAMAGE PER WEAPON!!! This is an outrage. I propose 1 damage for guns (with regular fire) and random, makeshift weapons suck as lead pipes.Bombs/missiles/fireball type things should do 2 damage. also, there should be 1 critical hit chance per day as well, doing 1 extra damage for the weapon that gets the critical hit. The no random weapons thing makes sence though, cause then people would be too overpowered. --General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 19:38, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

I'M STARTING MY OWN ALLIANCE

Who wanna join? I'm calling it Uncyclopedia's Finest anyone who joins receives our special Extreme sarcasm launcher (Basically a missile launcher) Weapon to be used once a day for 2 damage.(Anyone with a better name for our group list it here :P)

Signups

*--BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 19:43, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

  • Yeah - I really want to join. (Sorry - I don't need the launcher.) --Strange.PNG (but) Untrue  Whhhy?Whut?How? *Back from the dead* 22:03, 13 September 2007 (UTC)
  • Now that i've fucked off.../me delegates leadership of the group to Strange But Untrue...Even though she's being sarcastic :P --BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 14:42, 14 September 2007 (UTC)

Weapons

Alright. EVERYONE HAS ONLY A FIST FOR NOW ON. UNLESS THEY SEARCH. Also:Maximum 3 damage, got it? Also, shut up.

Uncyclopedian

Currently, I have launched Kyros(2 damage), Tagon's Toughs(One damage normal, 2 damage Schlock's plasgun), The Allosaurus(3 damage), and the Fuseli(Vehicle, warship/museum, has powerful weapons, has powerful armor annd shielding) from my webcomic launcher, which I just remade. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

TheDudeMan

Currently, I have my Big Fucking Gun, which launches missles for 2 dammage(long range, will do one damage to shooter if used close to target), regular bullets (1 Dammage), and Corpses(just for the hell of it. Also, as a general in the Grue Army, I reserve the ability to control grues, but they cannot eat anyone over 3 health.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 04:57, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

You also have a sniper rifle. Marshal Uncyclopedian! Talk to me!

I also have a tank, good for 3 dammage.--General And Min. THEDUDEMANSucrose b.gif 23:26, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Bonner

BOMBARDMENT

--BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) 16:49, 13 September 2007 (UTC)

Complimenatry Battle scene


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Game #X /Blue:<player1>/ Green:<player2>