Forum:Conflict of Interests

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Note: This topic has been unedited for 5870 days. It is considered archived - the discussion is over. Do not add to unless it really needs a response.

According to your front page's legally binding statement "the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit" you are in violation of internet protocol and in fact, certain subsections of Obstructional license codes by placing into effect any kind of block or freeze on articles both political and/or heretical and denying free access to said articles. Do you understand that such infringincees are grounds for lawsuits and other appropriate legal action as deemed by state and local government agencies forthwith? To put it in layman's terms, you might want to reconsider blocking any editing on pages which carry aforementioned right to edit articles such as Hillary Clinton and Osama. --Amerecina 06:14, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

Hmmm, well, obviously you're right. You've seen through our ploy, and so now this wiki will no longer block users or protect articles. I have lifted all blocks and unprotected all articles, feel free to edit them as you see fit now. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 06:19, Mar 1
Editing Hillary without an edit button? Then I guess I'll see you in court.--Amerecina 06:26, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
Yay! I get to wear my suit! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 08:57, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
Yay! I get to buy a suit! BonSig.png (Bonner) (Talk) Mar 1, 10:56
Clearly, madam, you don't have Spellcheck, because "Obstructional" isn't a word. You'd know that if you were me.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 15:57, 1 March 2008 (UTC)
"Spellcheck" isn't in the dictionary either, you'd know that if you owned a dictionary.--Amerecina 05:42, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Oh no, I'm gonna get sued! I wonder what would happen if a subpoena were issued to "TheLedBalloon." That would be an interesting goose-chase for the police, would it not? Also, I AM ABOVE THE LAW! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:33, Mar 1
IAMTHELAW! -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
UN:N --Atomsk.gif Kaizer the Bjorn takkun Nya? (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 17:35, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

I can just see this:

People of Texas versus Balloon, Led The. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:40, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

I'll just hire Johnnie Cochran and play the race card. On a side note, I'm not a minority. But even then, there's still the Chewbacca defense. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:46, Mar 1

You're wrong unusually litigious guy!

It says: "that anyone can edit". Nowhere does it say that every page can be edited by anyone. -- pyrrhic Ape (meditate on) (Riot Porn) 21:44, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

And that is why the class action lawsuit will revolve around what it does say.--Amerecina 05:42, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
But wait a minute, unusually litigious guy! You can edit, proved by the fact that you're editing this forum page! Plus, it says the exact same thing on wikipedia's front page, yet you can't edit that. And they have way mre money than uncyclopedia. Spang talk 05:50, 02 Mar 2008
I'm not a guy, and it says you can edit the site, not just bits and pieces of it. I'll let you know after my free consultation with the lawyer on Monday, whether falsely promising someone they can edit a site should include any exclusions dictated by the whim of 17 year old college students incognizant of the law. False claims have always been subject to litigation since the advent of advertising. --Amerecina 07:12, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Say, if I ban the unusually litigious girl, do I get sued as well? ~Jewriken.GIF 07:22, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
But that'd be no fun! Let her have her fun :)
How about this one: You can edit any page you want (any page on the internet, in fact), by downloading the html of it and editing it any way you wish. Or by copying the source to another wiki or website (while respecting the CC-BY-NC-SA licence terms, of course) and editing it there. The fact that you can also alter most of the live publically-viewable versions held on this site is just a coincidence. Spang talk 07:41, 02 Mar 2008
Our legal representative, Snuggles P. McWhiskers (from the firm of McWhiskers, Mittens, Mittens and Mendelbaum), is ready to fight you in court. This kitty's got claws.

Well, dammit! I was going to join his civil suit and make millions off this place. Guess it's back to selling crack to children then. Optimuschris 21:51, 1 March 2008 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia has enough Jews here to withstand any legal-type projectiles you plan on launching at us. Plus, whoever said that anything on this site was legally binding? If anyone can edit it, it's not legally binding. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 23:57 Mar 1

We should add something about this to Uncyclopedia:General disclaimer. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 05:55, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

So...please tell me yes or no: Are you taking legal action against Uncyclopedia? Because if you do, I will fly out to personally be there. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 06:04 Mar 2

You actually think you can win against The Jewish Triumvirate?. ~Jewriken.GIF 06:51, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Don't forget In Memoriam Jew, Honorary Jew, and Sannse, who might as well be Jewish for the power she holds.-Sir Ljlego, GUN VFH FIYC WotM SG WHotM PWotM AotM EGAEDM ANotM + (Talk) 01:11, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
I got a diploma and everything! Woo! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 03:56, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

Everyone can calm down

There's now a legally binding disclaimer on the front page. Carry on. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:28, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

I believe that that would be funnier as a {{USERNAME}} or {{admin}} gag. --Sir Starnestommy Icons-flag-us.png (TalkContribsCUN) 07:37, Mar. 2, 2008
Done. ~Jewriken.GIF 07:41, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Also, I propose the following: "Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit unless they're banned, the page is protected and they're not Colin "All your base" Heaney, it's semi-protected and they're too lazy to get an account, or they're this guy" --Sir Starnestommy Icons-flag-us.png (TalkContribsCUN) 07:43, Mar. 2, 2008
hmmmmm....interesting thoughts....07:48, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

And now, a rebuttal from perhaps the most insane person on this site other than Colin "All your base" Heaney or <insert name here>

How is that statement legally binding? By your logic, if I said you "must have sex with me" on this page, you would be legally bound to do it. --Sir Starnestommy Icons-flag-us.png (TalkContribsCUN) 07:53, Mar. 2, 2008

How about this: "By reading this post and/or its contents, you,, <insert name here>, agree to be gutted by Colin "All your base" Heaney in a manner of his or her choosing. If you fail to comply or are unable to do so, you forfeit the right to edit this wiki. This agreement is under the jusrisdiction of the Republic of Porchesia." --Sir Starnestommy Icons-flag-us.png (TalkContribsCUN) 08:03, Mar. 2, 2008
I'm not THAT insane. --Atomsk.gif Kaizer the Bjorn takkun Nya? (nya nya) (1961 model!) Check out T61! 15:53, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
But I am. IdoSet 12:04, 6 March 2008 (UTC)

In other news...

This topic is a horribly failed attempt at trolling. Seriously, if you have enough energy to put towards whining to a court about a wiki on the internet that might not be fair, why not apply it elsewhere, such as (school)work? Seriously, people have threatened us with lawsuits long before you came around. Not once has a lawsuit materialized. Thank you, and have a nice day. —Hinoa talk.kun 07:53, 2 March 2008 (UTC)

It didn't fail completely, it brought about some needed changes, ruffled enough feathers to keep me laughing for a few days (I mean, come on, "obstructional"? Only one person seemed to pick up on the fake legalese). This was too much fun although it would interesting to get a free consultation on something so ridiculous. Maybe I'll keep that appointment....--Amerecina 18:44, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Rest assured, not once did you laugh as hard about this forum as I did about the fact that someone would waste their time to make it. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:48, Mar 2
If you do keep that appointment, I fully expect you to be laughed out of there. :) —Hinoa talk.kun 19:09, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Then I'll have to sue him for misleading a potential client and desecration of character. ;) --Amerecina 22:28, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Agreed. Despite what the memes say, the internet is not serious business, especially not Uncyclopedia. --Sir Starnestommy Icons-flag-us.png (TalkContribsCUN) 07:55, Mar. 2, 2008
Thank you, Captain Obvious! Spang talk 07:57, 02 Mar 2008
Well if they can sue us, we can countersue them for being stupid and not just funny, right? After all, every new user gets that welcome message about how they have to stick to the HTBFANJS contract, right? Clearly this user has violated that contract with the rest of us, and we can sue him/her for being stupid instead of being funny? It would have to be a civil case, and we did give him/her a link to it to read it, and either agree to it or leave the Wiki and opt out of it, right? By his/her continuing to edit pages on Uncyclopedia, he/she must have agreed to the contract and by being stupid made himself/herself liable for violation of said contract. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:57, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
Welcome Message? This is how you welcome people to your website? Your "ignorable policy" doesn't have a leg to stand on in a court of law. I wonder why you seem to pre-hate the very users who make your site what it is. Is the life of an admin. so stressful, so unbearable that you become like pre-school or 2nd grade teachers, hating the new kids because you just know they're going to act like all the other kids. Maybe Uncyclopedia kills objectivity in the same way that all class systems do. And your new disclaimer which informs everyone but anonymous ip's that they're out of luck editing this site might as well say "Keep Out, Trespassers will be shot on sight", just like the rest of my neighbors. --Amerecina 04:19, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
That might make for a cool reskin. Just a big sign that says "KEEP OUT, NIGGERS GO HOME." ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 16:44 Mar 3
We don't use that word here. The proper term is "house". Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 17:26, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
Hey Modus, go house. Spang talk 17:35, 03 Mar 2008
Woo! Go House! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 18:15, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
Actually, our welcome message links to HTBFANJS, which has tips for writing comedy. Close guess, though. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon Baloon.gif(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 04:40, Mar 3
Please try to view this through the eyes of the newcomer. The Header states Welcome to Uncyclopedia,

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit unless you're <insert name here>, in which case you're out of luck 22,929 articles in English. The how to be funny part is obscure and not exactly a prominent feature. Have you ever considered hiring graphic designers or other professionals who know how to direct the eye and take this wiki to a higher plane?--Amerecina 05:00, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

Professionals?! Hi, welcome to Uncyclopedia. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 05:05, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
Jimbo Wales should pay me. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)

I see a loophole

As satire is protected from lawsuits, one way to get your legal foot in the door would be to prove that Uncyclopedia was negligent as to being clear as to whether Uncyclopedia was being satirical. Just prove damages do to it being taken wrong.Verp 02:33, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Damn it!

I'm gone for a few days and I miss all the fun! Hey, personwhomadethistopic, nobody loves you! Sig pic.PNG Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 02:30, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

the feeling is mutual --Amerecina 05:07, 5 March 2008 (UTC)
I don't understand what's going on. -- The fatgoat Talk (to me, obviously) The Crap I've Done 05:56, 5 March 2008 (UTC)


Poop

I did it! -- Tinymooose.gif » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 07:04, 5 March 2008 (UTC)

Hey guys, STM pooped. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 16:21 Mar 5
Look at the SIZE of that thing!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:45, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
Never mind the size! The stench is... overpowering! I think I'm g- /me throws up on Brad. -- §. | WotM | PLS | T | C | A 15:05, 6 March 2008 (UTC)
This is a pretty epic turd. What should we call it? ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUNWotMRotMAotMVFHSKPEEINGHPBFF @ 16:20 Mar 6
Epic? Turd? The words "Ishtar" and "Meet The Spartans" spring strangely to mind. --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 17:59, Mar 6
Someone outta clean this up... LedBalloon - welcome to adminship /me runs --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 13:38, 7 March 2008 (UTC)

Conflict Of Interest 2 : Electric Boogaloo

I played Conflict of Interest once. Not enough headsplosions if you ask me --Nytrospawn 17:53, 11 March 2008 (UTC)