Disneyland
Disneyland The Mainland Disneyland Confederacy Where Dreams are Made at minimum | |||||
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| Motto: '"Unite the World, Take the Money and Run"' | |||||
| Anthem: "The Hymn of the Disneyland Confederacy" | |||||
 The Disneyland Confederation consists of the territories of eight distinct nations. | |||||
| Capital | Main Street | ||||
| Largest city | Itsabigworldafterall | ||||
| Official language(s) | Engrish, Spanish, Japanese (Operating hours only) | ||||
| Government | Corporate DisnacracyNazism | ||||
| CEO | Robert Iger | ||||
| ‑ Executive President of Disneyland | Peter Pan (DD) (1982-1990) (2010-Present) | ||||
| ‑ Public Speaker (retired) | Mickey Mouse | ||||
| ‑ Manager of Peace | Goofy | ||||
| National Hero(es) | That's pretty much it. | ||||
| Declaration of Independence | Disneyland declared independence from the rest of the world. It took five years | ||||
| Currency | Eurodollarpesos, Mickey Mouse hats | ||||
| Religion | Congregationalism | ||||
| Major exports | Diarrhea, Broken Dreams | ||||
| Major imports | Money, Lost Children , Tortured soildiers and rebels from the Great Disney War of | ||||
“Garsh' Mickey what doyo want me to do with the bodies from Thunder Mountain?”
Disneyland is a confederation of eight nations located in present day southern California, with the exception of one unincorporated province, Castaway Cay, located in the Caribbean, and one disputed territory, The Hundred-Acre Woods. It is located about 500 feet north of the youngest Disney state, Disney's California Adventure. Disneyland is the oldest member of the Mickey Mouse League (informally known as the Mickey Mouse Club, Empire of the Mouse or the Hashemite Kingdom of Al-Mouse), a trading alliance of states and cities that maintains a global entertainment monopoly.
Geography
Disneyland consists of eight separate nations, each of which maintains a distinct culture and set of customs:
- Main Street, the Maínawk nation
- Adventureland, the Adveneca nation
- Frontierland, the Frontayuga nation
- Fantasyland, the Faneída nation
- Tomorrowland, the Tommorodaga nation
- New Orleans Square, the Nuolora nation
- Critter Country, the Beár nation
- Toontown, the city-nation of Tún.
The most prominent geographical features are four isolated large mountains: Big Thunder Mountain, Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, and the Matterhorn. For this reason, early Spanish missionaries termed the area Quatros Altos while Chinese immigrants during the nineteenth century called the Disneyland confederation the "Four-Mountain Kingdom”, or Sìshāngúo (四山國). Outside of these mountains, the other most prominent feature is a river located on the edge of Frontierland, which serve as a major transportation route.
Although not actually a part of Disneyland, the American state of Calisota is under control of Disneyland, but is not an actual member of its 'League of bitches'.
History
At first, this place was a fortress for evil terrorists such as Hitler, Darth Vader, Tom Cruise, and the Infamous Rat in the early 1384 1/2 century. The Infamous Rat was just a small part of this clan, such as a secretary. The head man was Shoop da Whoop, who was very powerful until the Infamous Rat wanted power. He murdered Shoop Da Whoop in his sleep, ritualistically scalping his trademark ears of kingly power, and grafted them to his own head, and proclaimed himself the leader. That is why we celebrate him in his honor by grafting the ears of the "others" to our children, now going -197231 years.
Wahtehdausnee and the Founding of the Five Nations Confederation
During the thirteenth century in southern Texas, there was frequent conflict among the tribes inhabiting the region. Different outlooks and cultures led to squabbles over resources and territory. This continued until the mid-fourteenth century, when two prophets, Deganawidah, known as the Great Peacemaker, and Wahtehdausnee, known as the Mouse Talker, suggested an alliance between the tribes. Five tribes joined the new alliance: the Maínawks, Adveneca, Faneída, Tommorodaga, and Frontayuga. The alliance came to be known as the Wahtehdausnee, after the prophet. Spanish missionaries shortened the name to Disney, and the alliance came to be known to Europeans as the Disneyland Five Nations Confederation.
In 1766, the Nuolora, displaced by European settlement in Québec, petitioned to become the Sixth Nation. This was a non-voting position, but afforded the Nuolora protection within the confederation. The Beár and the Tún petitioned to become the Seventh and Eighth Nations in 1772 and 1793 respectively.
Relations with the United States
Annexation of the Disneyland Five Nations Confederation territories by the United States after the Mexican-American War in 1848 had a disastrous effect for the members of Disneyland. The Wahtehdausnee became displaced and suffered from AIDS and poverty. The grievances continued for more than a century. Many Wahtehdausnee become refugees who settled and established communities in Florida, Europe, and Asia. Many of these communities were patterned after the California confederation, and these communities would later have an important role in the formation of the Mickey Mouse League.
In the 1940s and 1950s, attempts to address Wahtehdausnee grievances were made by the Truman and Leonard Cohen administrations. Many members of the Wahtehdausnee had fought valiantly in World War I and World War II. In recognition of their valor, the United States government signed the Treaty of Corporation with the Wahtehdausnee on July 17, 1955. This treaty recognized the territorial claims and sovereignty of the Disneyland confederation, while allowing the U.S. to store ICBMs beneath the trademark castle.
The Reign of the Rat
Immediately after the signing of the Treaty of Corporation, the Disneyland confederation faced daunting problems. Poverty was endemic. Security was a problem as Pirates of the Caribbean threatened to overwhelm the nations and undermine their trade. After a few months of confusion and weak leadership, Mickey Mouse the Great, a member of one of Disneyland’s traditional ruling bloodlines, rose to power, making him the first homosexual man elected president. Mickey Mouse the Great’s first actions after coming to power involved the security of the new sovereign state. The borders of the new state were closed and strict visitor visa requirements were enacted. Movement within the territories of the Disneyland confederation was tightly controlled, with citizens and visitors required to carry passes. These passes came in five types: “A” Tickets, “B” Tickets, “C” Tickets, “D” Tickets, and “E” Tickets. Only members of the ruling elite and favored guests were allowed to carry “E” Tickets.
Mickey Mouse the Great, with considerable help from his aides George Geef the Goof and Donald "Coronary" Duck, also initiated a military build-up to enhance the new sovereign nation’s stature. Strong military action subdued the pirates that had been a hazard to the Disneyland confederation’s trade. The pirates were dispossessed of their land and forced to a small reservation in New Orleans Square. Wernher von Braun, the designer of the V-2 rocket and coffee makers, in Germany during Nazi rule, was invited into the Disneyland to develop military technologies. From a base in Tomorrowland, von Braun helped Disneyland develop a fleet of submarines and a rocket-to-the-moon program. He also perfected the cryogenic technology that was used to freeze Adolf Hitler for his inevitable return (see also: World War II, Lance of Longinus, Five-Day War).
Although never publicly confirmed, there is a widespread consensus in the intelligence community that Mickey Mouse spearheaded the creation of a secret Disneyland nuclear program. For years, the large rocket standing in the center of Tomorrowland was rumoured to be tipped with a nuclear warhead, and Disneyland was viewed by many as a credible nuclear threat. In 1963, at the height of the Cold War, the US Department of Defense drafted a full-scale Tactical Response Scenario for the possibility of Disneyland nuclear aggression, concerned in part about possible Soviet influence on the Confederation. Unfortunately, the nuclear program collapsed in the turmoil following Mickey's death in 1970. During this period of instability, the missile and its warhead disappeared from Tomorrowland, replaced by the "Astro-Orbiter," a failed creation of the short lived Disneyland Space Agency. Today, the whereabouts of the warhead, as well as the location of Ludwig Von Drake, Disneyland's top nuclear scientist, remain unknown. There is a significant possibility that the warhead, and Von Drake's nuclear expertise, have fallen into the hands of a terrorist organization, possibly the PLO.
During the rule of Mickey Mouse the Great, freedoms of the press were severely curtailed. Opposition political parties were outlawed and political opponents mysteriously “disappeared.” Hundreds of thousands of political dissidents were committed to forced-labor camps far to the north in what had been known as Burbank, but now was spoken of in hushed tones as Mauschwitz. A cult of personality developed around Mickey Mouse the Great. Citizens of the Disneyland confederation wrote and performed songs and intricately choreographed dance routines devoted to their leader. Parades extolling the virtues of Mickey Mouse the Great were held day and night. The repressive rule of Mickey Mouse the Great eventually came to be known as the “Reign of the Rat.” Despite the severe political repression, lack of freedom, and overall atmosphere of terror, many citizens of the Disneyland confederation have since become nostalgic about the Reign of the Rat; during this time, Disneyland achieved a relative level of prosperity and international prestige that had not been seen in over a century. Several descendants of Mickey Mouse the Great continue to serve on Disneyland’s Great Council today.
Democratization and the Formation of the Mickey Mouse League
The death of Mickey Mouse the Great in 1970 created a leadership vacuum. A military junta, led by Admiral Donald Duck, attempted to continue Mickey Mouse the Great’s style of rule. Also vying for power, despite her husband's motives, was the ambitious Daisy Duck, who unknown to all but her, was responsible for Mickey's death (she had poisoned him. See Daisy Duck).But pressures for democracy had become great. A large student demonstration erupted near the Ministry of Foreign Affairs demanding open elections. After a 2-week standoff, the military leadership finally met with student leaders. Following this peaceful revolution, reforms were made that led to the establishment of a new constitution. A new decentralized federalized government was instituted and a democratically elected Great Council was established. Daisy, realizing she had lost also, quickly scrambled to to find her footing.
In 1971, the newly democratic Disneyland confederation entered a formal trading alliance with the Magic Kingdom, a community of Disneyland expatriates in Florida. This alliance came to be called the Mickey Mouse League (informally, the “Mickey Mouse Club”), after Mickey Mouse, Jr., son of Mickey Mouse the Great and the Foreign Affairs Minister at the time. Soon, other cities and countries joined the league and the league quickly established a monopoly on the global entertainment industry. Formation of the Mickey Mouse Club brought immediate economic benefits to the Disneyland confederation.
Late in the 1980s, troops from neighboring Muppetland, led by Emperor Jim Henson and General Kermit Frog attacked in an early morning coup. This battle would change Disneyland forever. After years of bloody fighting, including the political assassinations of Fozzie Bear and Gonza - by hanging, and Dopey by electrocution, Disneyland forces led by Commander Mickey vanquished their foes by using an experimental virus which killed Emperor Henson. Muppetland was then consolidated into Disneyland and thousands of muppets were either killed or sold into slavery.
A modernization program brought infrastructure improvements, particularly to Beár country, which had been the most impoverished region in the Disneyland nations. The adoption in the Mickey Mouse League of a single currency in 1987, the Disney Dollar, brought more prosperity. The 1990s saw a host of infrastructure improvements made throughout all the nations of the confederation.
Politics
Organization
Each of the nations within the Disneyland confederation has its own council for administering internal affairs. A Great Council with ten members governs the confederation as a whole. Though the members of the Great Council are democratically elected to 7-year terms, most of the members of the Great Council belong to family bloodlines that compose Disneyland’s nobility and traditional ruling class. The Council holds regular meetings at the city of Slee-bing-bú-tee, the administrative center for the entire confederation. Current members of the Great Council are:
- Princess Aurora
- The Beast
- Prince Charming
- Cruella De Vil
- Goofy
- Daisy Duck
- Mickey Mouse III
- Minnie Mouse
- Roger Rabbit
- Stitch
- Eric Cartman
The political arrangement of Disneyland has been emulated by many other countries, including other states in the Mickey Mouse League, the Haudenosaunee, and the Delos nation (a confederation of MedievalWorld, RomanWorld, and WestWorld).
Political Parties
Two political parties are dominant in Disneyland government: the Donald Duckrocrats and the Mickey Mousicans. The Duckrocrats favor expanded social services while the Mousicans favor more a limited role for government.
War on Terrorism
Terrorism has played a large role in Disneyland politics. From the very founding of the Disneyland Confederation, the nations of the confederation were beset by attacks from pirates. After the Fantasyland Spring reforms, these attacks abated. However, the 1990s saw a resumption of pirate terror activity with the 11-9 attacks.
The early 2000s saw attacks by other groups. In 2001, the so-called 11-9 attacks demolished two of the three towers of Sleeping Beauty’s castle. These attacks were blamed on a terrorist organization called al-Quack, led by a shady figure, Don al-Duck. Confederation troops (along with allies from the Mickey Mouse League) are currently tracking him on the mountains of Afghanistan or somewhere within the The Six Flags Empire. Another terror attack in 2005 on the Tomorrodaga nation was led by chicken separatists. These new attacks precipitated new domestic crackdowns on dissent and free movement.
The UN
In the year 2003 The UN officially recognized Disney Land as a full member, and even gave it veto power. This might be just be because the UN representatives wanted some free trips to the land of the... THE FUN!!! The representative is none other than Donald Duck, a close relative of George W. Bush. Upon induction into the UN Georgey had this to say, "Donald... Is a great... Great... representative for the great nation of of...The Disney Channel? Oh wait I mean land. Disney Land. We look forward to conquering Tarrar... terror, sorry, with this fine young man." This looks like the beginning of a new age in governments, with the most fun nation in the worlds greatest decisions!
Economy
As a member of the Mickey Mouse League, the Disneyland confederation enjoys considerable revenues from its share of the entertainment trade. The Miramax Empire and ABC send annual tributes to the confederation (as well as other members of the league).
Disneyland also generates significant annual revenues from tourism. Visitors enjoy experiencing the native cultures of each of the nations within the confederation. Free tourist visas are often available on the back of Cheerios cereal boxes, though the Great Council generates a large amount of revenue from selling one-day tourist visas to visitors who cannot avail themselves of this opportunity. Tourists and Disneyland residents often enjoy using the extensive transportation infrastructure. Disneyland used to sport three separate mass transit systems: the PeopleMover, the Skyway, and the Monorail. However, Pirate terrorists destroyed the Skyway in 1994 and the PeopleMover in 1995 in spectacular and widely-publicized suicide attacks. Neither of these two systems have reopened. The destruction of two of the three main mass transit systems in the Disneyland territories means that commuting tourists and citizens must frequently endure long waits and long lines for rides.
The Disney Dollar, originally pegged to the US Dollar at a fixed exchange rate of D$1=US$1, has seen significant devaluation since the transition to a floating exchange rate in 1998. Despite several widely publicized bailouts by the International Monetary Fund, the Disneyland Federal Reserve has been unable to rein in the currency's high rate of inflation. Today, high prices are widespread throughout Disneyland - at current levels of inflation, even a normally inexpensive churro can cost upwards of D$12 (US$7). Federal Reserve Chairman Scrooge McDuck has garnered both praise and criticism from the international financial community for his unorthodox economic policies in response to the currency's fluctuation. Controversy surrounded his 2001 attempt to increase the value of the Disney Dollar by locking an estimated D$7 trillion in a large vault, diving in from a specially-constructed springboard, and swimming through the currency like a dolphin. McDuck has also been implicated in an accounting scandal regarding the value of the Disney Confederation's foreign reserves. Although Federal Reserve estimates place their value at an approximate D$ five multiplujillion, nine impossibidillion, seven fantasticatrillion dollars and sixteen cents, recent audits by independent accounting firms have suggested that their value may be significantly less, with estimates as low as a mere D$ one multiplujillion, nine obsquatumatillion, six hundred twenty-three and sixty-two cents. Despite currency fluctuations, however, Disneyland's GDP has consistently grown between 2-3% annually, thanks to high international prices of Happiness and Magic, Disneyland's two largest exports.
In response to the recent worldwide spike in oil prices, the Confederation government has sold permits for offshore drilling operations in Frontierland Lake, and converted the Mark Twain Riverboat into a petroleum exploration vessel. Extraction is slated to begin in early 2008 at the latest, and Disneyland has already been approached as a possible member of OMPEK, the Organization of Magic Petroleum Exporting Kingdoms.
Culture
Very few generalizations can be made about the culture, as each of the eight nations comprising the Disneyland confederation maintains distinct language, dress, and cuisine. However, spring water (which is often carbonated) mixed with syrup is a favored drink in all of the nations. •
After the death of Mickey Mouse the Great, there was much controversy over the parades. Many people saw the parades as a reminder of the nation’s grim past. Others had grown so accustomed to the daily regalia that they fought for its continuation. In a compromise, the parades were allowed to continue, but they were slowly transformed away from the praise of Mickey Mouse the Great and towards a celebration of the different cultures of the peoples of Disneyland.
Military
The military is very well organized fighting force as it has a Land,Special,Sea,marine, and Air forces .They are Known as the Royal Disney Army and and fought with the Enforcers during The Great War of Armagedden. 'The Army The main fighting force of the royal disney Army and consist of :
- Ogre Infrantry - Ever since the peace treaty between Disney and Dreamworks Ogres have been the workhorse behind the Army.700,000 in service.
- basic Infrantry - Consist of Clones of Goofy and are the most used infrantry on the battlefield.800,300 in service.
- donald Duck jeeps - Are frequetly used for fast attack and troop engaements.can drive up to 78 mph.Its main armorment is Minny varuim 50.cal machine gun.90,210 in service.
- Dumbo tanks - Main Battle Tank and is well protected from RPGs and machine gun fire.has 102mm smooth bore cannon for tanking out the trash.6,490 in service
- Pluto planes - Primary aircraft for 40 yrs,can reach the speed of sound,and has a minny varuim machine gun,5 big Pete missles,and 4 walt rockets.20,000 in service
- Goofy Choppers - A attack and supply chopper.4,890 in service.
- Sebastian class destroyer - A fast navalship and loaded to the teeth with weapons.In service alot
- Navy Ships - There is alot of ships from Frigates,Corvettes,and Aircraft carries.In service 200,000,000.
Country Within A Country
Disneyland could be classified as a country within a country. However, Disneyland itself has at least one independent nation located within its borders. The Pirates of the Caribbean reside within a small section of New Orleans Square. This country apparently was established after Walt Disney, Chancellor of Disneyland, made Disneyland a dry country. The pirates, addicted to rum, decided to secede. In a truce, the pirates decided to go in business with Disney, opening the exclusive Club 33.
See also
- Disney
- Disney's California Adventure
- EuroDisney
- Disney Magic
- Silicone Valley
- Chocolicousistic
- Worst 100 Locations of All Time
External links
- An article detailing the many ways you and your family can have fun at Disneyland
- History of the Republic of Disneyland
