User:UNmarine777/The Great War of Armagedden
| American Civil War | |
|---|---|
 A Photgraph of the war taken by a mobile-recon division showing the poorly-equipped US forces entering Uncyclopedia City. | |
| Conflict: Uncyclopedian Civil war or Great War of Armageddan. | |
| Date: 2012-2012 because the UN intervened.2012-2102 if the UN didn't intervene | |
| Place: Uncyclopedia City and UNanswers Jungle. | |
| Outcome: total lost for everyone all sides died and everyone forgot about it the next day.The U.N went to war with Disneyland starting The Magical War. | |
| Combatants | |
| Uncyclopedia,UN,Wikiapedia (We black-mailed them with the picture at Steve's Christmas party), Canada but they got lost so it doesn't really count ,and all the countries that where invited | The Enforcers,Admins,Royal Disney Armed Forces,and whoever wanted to join. |
| Commanders | |
| Oscar Wilde † My Mom Megatron |
User:Zombiebaron Some Guy  Chuck Norris |
| Strength | |
| -23.5 soldiers 2 packs of Shock an Awe! Pancho Villa for comedic relief 1 gallon of Ima go'in to kick yur ass The force Several dozen boxes of Girl Scout thin mint cookies |
9001,000 enforcers 69,609 Royal disney troops 2060 disney military vehicles. 1337 Manly Men of Disney royalty Royal disney Horde |
| Casualties | |
| KIA: -22 and 1 Total dead: alot Wounded: 31337 and a half Drunk: 123,456,879,906.25 |
KIA: 1337 Total dead: many Wounded: 7331 |
War begins[edit | edit source]
- Guide: "Welcome as of now you will spot a group Enforcers killing innocent users.On your left you will spot a group of Resistance members planting a bomb in diner that the enfocers use alot.Now on your right you will see a rocket heading directly towards the tour bus any questions?"
- Tourist:"Yah,are we going to die?"
- Tourist 2:" When do we go to the gift shop?"
- Guide:"Yes we are all going to die as molten shrapnel is sprayed in lungs eventually killing us,Hope yall didn't do anything bad because yall going to meet your maker!Oh and we are going to the gift shop at the end of the trip"
(Boom and crying yells of pain)
- Tourist:"My leg!"
- Tourist 2:I spilled my Coke on my leg,whyyyyyyyy!
- Guide:"We are at the end of our trip please exit via that large firey hole on your left or the gapping hole on the right side of the bus,and Feel free to go into the gift shop. Have a happy day!"
- Tourist 2:"Yah,I am getting me some bobble-heads!"
As you can tell War has been going on ever since the Admins let vandals terrorize Uncyclopedia for money.This led to street riots,store riots,Football game riots,and eventually to resistance.The U.N as been sending death threats peaceful letters towards the Admins ,but sadly none of the admins can read English.The Enforcers - the elite guard of the Admins where given responsibility of keeping Uncyclopedia clean and funny,but since have been slacking.The Vandals where given citizen rights and are responsible for keeping uncyclopedia funny,but there two sided ways led to this where.Obviously the Admins only let this happen because of money.Now wheres my goddamn crack at!(distant talking) "Mom have you seen my crack?"...(Mom)"No,Honey I think you left by the .50 cal machine gun!"....{Narrator)"Oh here it is".
Here it shows the progress of the war:
While everyone was eating there doritos with sweat n' sour sauce war was raging around Uncyclopedia city.The Viva La resistance Tweeted the UN this message:
vivalaresistance562:Omfg we r @ war with teh Admins can u help!?!?!?!? =)
UnitedNationslikeomg:Omg we r sendin forces -> away Lmfao Rofl
vivalaresistance562:thanx
UnitedNationslikeomg:Ps i got ur last message Lmfao
After the Tweet the UN Tweeted President Obama.
UnitedNationslikeomg:we need ur help!!!!
ChocAlateInCharge:ok i wil send marines and army as well as Af.
The message was considered the greatest immplement of battle ever concieved.
UN intervention[edit | edit source]
While you were watching that new Oprah channel wars been raging in Uncyclopedia much like Afganistan or MW2.The UN having to do everything created a plan.First the Brits will capture UnNews station so they could cut off enemy communications or something.The Americans where to capture Featured content Hall and Recent changes Mall to eliminate the enemy troop camps.France and Canada were to provide support for other countries but failed like always.Russia was to capture Village Dump and random page to set up a supply route and evac any civilians but coudn't hence the smell.Mexico was to provide fire support for The Viva La Resistance entering HTBFANJS crossroads ,unfortuntley they where all drunk on tequila.Germany was still being Germany and didn't feel like fighting today so they just went back to bed.Then The Brits where to meet up with USA at community portal to destroy the Flak tower that was carfully position on top of a tower.Then Italy would make wonderful Pizza for everyone.The Viva La Resistance would help the UN forces in this 999,999.000 mile wide city.Later UAV recon jets captured Royal disney Army working with the Enforcers.
Plan goes wrong,Just like the Emmys last night,remember with Paris Hilton God that was awful[edit | edit source]
All teams successufully deployed except for the Canadian and French teams because they are mentally slow and got lost.The French encountered heavy resistance from Enforcers ,for Canada they just got lost Eh.UN which was busy doing something important didn't feel like helping them out,Canada texted the UN for some support but the UN texted "We r buzzy!".Meanwhile China was holding off two mechanized divisions of Dumbo tanks.America reunited with Britain and pushed out the Enforcers of Help Hosplital.As the Enforcers were losing ground they launched a secret weapon at China,America,and Britain it was the Hanna-Montana sound bomb which as the a blast raduis of 300 square miles it is capable of blasting the brains out poeple with its horrible music much like BILLY MAYS,but only nastier.The Bombs where launched and a total of a gazillion poeple died as a result.China seriously mad send there own special weapons Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee not sure if he's chinese but what the heck.There mission is to eliminate all the people responsible for the attack.But where unable to continue the mission as there encountered to much white poeple as asians don't like white.
The Master plan[edit | edit source]
The Admins had to leave the city hall towards a secret bunker which was Victoria's secret because those damn things are impenetrable..get it, nevermind.The base was improved so it can take 2 full payloads of bombs,3 airstrikes, and fitted with Sentry guns,3 divisions of soildiers around the clock,Titanuim x3 armor,3 waves of enforcers,and 60 squads of Royal Disney troops.As they came up with a better plan.They decided to go on the offensive to eliminate as much UN forces as possilble.around three O' clock motar strikes hit the building but the occupants didn't feel a thing.The enforcers where losing ground as The Viva La Resistance assaulted requested article fields to liberate the farmers from the Enforcers as now they don't have a enough article/food supplies now as the farmers grew them.The Enforcers elimanated the UN forces at Whats Happening Park.Which is a success!for them not us!
As the the UN where fighting.The Viva La Resistance and UN forces evently made it thru the First barrier.
The War changes tide![edit | edit source]
As the UN made it thru the first barrier.The Admins sent Hordes of troops to gun down the enemy troops.2 Royal disney divisions fully equipped with dumbo tanks,Goofy choppers,Orgre infrantry,Donald duck jeeps,Pluto attack planes,and special forces Mouseketeers to make sure the UN does not head thru the 2nd barrier.In order to make sure they dont take VFH highway and TGI Fridays they sent a convoy of at least 62 dumbo tanks,Donald duck jeeps, and Ogre infrantry as well as air support in the form of Goofy choppers.The UN unable to attack directly sent F-22 raptors to squash the Disney troops.Ogre Infantry was taking heavy losses as the Wikipedia forces that where invited into the war came.Wikipedia Navy destroyed the Royal Disney Navy on the Project Page sea with the navy out of the fight the Royal disney sent Pluto planes to destroy the Wikipedia's Navy the oceans soon turned red with a hint of orange.Soon 3 heavily armed Sabastian-Class destroyers made the Wikipedia Navy stuff of legend.Back on land the Viva La Resistance made it to the second barrier they soon radioed the UN about this but sadly the Viva La Resistance base was destroyed by Ogre infrantry and the few that where alive got captured and eaten alive.
battle at the barriers[edit | edit source]
The second barrier was penetrated (get it) leaving only one more barrier to go.This put pressure on the Admins as they knew that they would be executed or die like hitler none of the admins wanted to stay but hope came and found its way as the Enforcers had a tatical advantage the Sewers!The Enforcers managed to enter the sewers but only to add to the fight , various gangs that the Admins exiled were down there losing about 4 out of 7 squads.The ones who made it out set out to there objectives and destroyed half of the UNs tank division.The 75th Ranger Division and the Russian 6th Sniper Brigade led by Lt.Ivann A. Jakov(Me) soon managed to eliminate the enforcer squads coming out the sewers the ranger division placed C-4 charges on the Pluto planes at Report a Problem Airport destroying the Royal Disneys Air supremecy.Mickey the Great and the Admins left the Bunker towards a Best Buy but some Admins stayed to lead the remaining armies.thinking that they will live.everyone knows the UN is going to win.
The Final Battle[edit | edit source]
the UN captured most of the city except the Victoria secret store.Which most of the admins should of stayed in.
The Viva La Resistance and U.N assualted the main defense area with Stealth Bombers.Then the entire base sounded the alarm to go to DEFCON 1 and launched a huge counter-strike against them.The entire City was filled with AA guns firing in the air,Huge explosions,and gunfire.The 3rd Sniper Brigade sniped 3 generals trying to escape.The only enemy troops where the:
- Enforcer squad 7
- Ogre Infrantry
- Royal disney mechanized tank division
- 6th Enforcer division
- 45th tank division.
- 98th Ogre assault infrantry
- 23 Enforcer soildiers.
- 101st Royal Muskeeter Brigade.
- 27th and 45th Enforcer Division
- The Horde(4 divisions of ogre infrantry,8 donald duck jeeps and infrantry units,5 Muskeeter divisions,7 mechanized infrantry units,and 6 squadrons of Pluto planes)
The Viva La Resistance eliminated the 6th enforcer Division in a matter of seconds.The 98th Ogre Assault infrantry lead by Shrek assualted 3 US squads as well as the 78th British tea Party.A 3 Marine divisions along with a couple of M1A2 Abrams lead the assault at the VFP gates wich was well guarded.the enforcers left to the UNanswers Jungle but soon where discovered by the UN.The base heavily destroyed by the UN.SEAL team 6 entered the base and eliminated most of the admins,except the ones who fled but they died too by Monkies.Germany's alarm went off at 7:30 A.M and Germany got some Lucky Charms that Czechslovakia bought for him the following week.From there Germany went to work at the U.N headquaters in New York City.Then Germany went to war.
Aftermaft[edit | edit source]
The Royal Disney Army and Mickies admins/enforcers fled back to Disneyland,Mickey fell into hiding,The Viva La Resistance became the primary army for Uncyclopedia and wondering why we didnt have a "real" army in the first place,the UN rebuiled the Nation and restored it ending the corruption.Germany later went back home ,watched a good thirty minutes of The Simpsons, and went back to sleep.