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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 30,315 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

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More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

Contrary to popular belief, Roger "The Saint" Moore is not the patron saint of saint rogering.

October 19: Feast of Saint Roger (Estonia). Feast of rogering saints (Bulgaria).

  • 24 - Saint Roger invites his chums to his residence, Gobblewood Mansion, and holds a feast.
  • 26 - Saint Roger gets raped by Hillbillies while on holiday in Bulgaria
  • 1161 - The first trout was launched into space by the ruskies, onboard Stenchpotski 12.
  • 1297 - Someone, somewhere, goes to the lavatory.
  • 1349 - Postmen all over England suffer the Sack Death.
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus sings the blues.
  • 1607 - Elizabeth I of England rises from the dead as a zombie- then dies again of a bad cold.
  • 1704 - Nokia renames itself Bobcom.
  • 1734 - Bobcom renames itself Fredphone.
  • 1764 - Fredphone renames itself Kings Cross Talk.
  • 1824 - Kings Cross Talk renames itself Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications.
  • 1854 - Londres Compagnie de la Télécommunications renames itself London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft.
  • 1884 - London-Telekommunikation-Gesellschaft renames itself Retford Phone Company.
  • 1914 - Retford Phone Company renames itself Nokia.
  • 1925 - Nokia Phone Company renames itself Phil the lovable huggable drunkard, but then decides that it projects a negative image on their homeless phone subscribers, so they change back.
  • 1973 - Pfft is created and every word in the dictionary is thusforth removed for the rest of eternity. Except for one word. Pfft.
  • 1983 - 34 Nazis decide to hold a square dance, which result in a whole new line of trousers being released.
  • 1990 - Toasters take over the internets messaging services. Ovens are taken in for questioning.
  • 2004 - Nokia renames itself NO CIA, and starts a nuclear war.
  • 2007 - While visiting Chicago, President George W. Bush is assassinated, following an economic speech at the Chicago Sheraton Hotel, in front of which an anti-war rally was being held. Noted pedophile John Mark Karr is later arrested for the murder, but is himself killed by a distraught Don King before the case can go to trial.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?


Read on

This Month's Wit

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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