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Welcome to The House of Pomegranates, the collection of short stories that is intended neither for the British child nor the British public.


Oscar Wilde has inspired us to work on 30,513 stories and plays since opening in January 2005.

Before modifying any of Wilde's works, please read the snooty writing guidelines and homo-acceptance manual.

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Another Oscar Wilde picture. From:

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Chastity is a calling higher than marriage, and spiritually more profitable.

Oscar's Chosen Article

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Pixellated Face Disease (PFD) is a strange and disturbing phenomenon whereby an individual's face becomes blurred and blocky for seemingly no apparent reason. Any individual, no matter how law-abiding or innocent can contract the disease whilst going about their everyday life. However, the single most disturbing aspect of the condition is that , much like ghosts, the effects can only be seen when the infected individual is viewed on film or photographic format. Thus, one will never know if one has the condition until they appear on World's Wildest Police Chases or CCTV Uncovered.

There is currently no known cure for the Pixellated Face Disease. Scientists are baffled by the fact the sufferer will display almost no symptoms until caught on film. The individual will go through life looking like any other ordinary person. Thus, the current advice for those that fear they have the disease is to spend their lives avoiding cameras. (Full article...)

Recently featured: Lord Sauron · Pixellated Face Disease

You can suggest articles for Oscar to read.

More of Oscar's picks


Why was I born with such contemporaries?

This stoat is about to be molested. Donate now at donate.rainn.org to stop this madness.

May 23: Stop the Stoat Molesting Night

  • 818 - The Force is disturbed for the first time. The Force puts a "Do Not Disturb" sign on her door.
  • 1783 - Due to a lack of women, American pioneers settle for stoats.
  • 1828 - Soap factory accident creates marshmallows.
  • 1829 - Marshmallow factory accident creates tupperware.
  • 1831 - Tupperware factory accident kills dozens of women and children.
  • 1913 - Igor Stravinsky's The Rite Of Spring is first performed in Paris. It is a huge success and nobody riots, not even a little.
  • 2006 - Hal 9000 starts an advice column for worried humanoids, fails miserably.
  • 2007 - President George W. Bush accidentally knocks over his ant farm and cries.

The history of the United Kingdom

The one duty we owe to history is to rewrite it.


Royal Wedding 2018 highlights
Go back to work peasants


Today in London


It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information, so did you know...

From Uncyclopedia's playwrights:

  • ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!


Read on

This Month's Wit

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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For Oscar-related chatter, see this room to talk about Oscar.

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