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Dick: Howdy folks, and welcome to another edition of the yearly Smirnoff Presidential Bar Brawl Classic! As always, I'm your host, Dick Willie Johnson, and I'm joined by my good friend, Bud "Lite" Bigmeat. Bud: I gotta say, Dick, I'm very, very excited to see this brawl. I've been waiting to see Taft smash a chair over Kennedy's head. Last one alive/conscious wins. SMASH Dick: Nixon wastes no time and immediately hits Reagan over the head with a chair! Reagan is on the ground in severe pain, that's definitely a concussion if I've ever seen one, Bud. Washington with a right hook to the face of Grover Cleveland! Cleveland retaliates with a beer bottle to the head. Kennedy shoves Biden into Taft! Oh god, no! Taft slams Biden into a table! Obama hits Taft over the head with a chair, he's down! Here comes George W. Bush, stomping on the injured Reagan! (Full article...) Recently featured: Morning Best aristocrat ever Tel Aviv My Brawl with Jason Voorhees on Halloween 1983 Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Jimmy Whiteman, featured on 6 November 2024: Featured version Presidential Bar Brawl Classic, featured on 6 November 2023: Featured version Did you know... *... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?	In the news Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out.. New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured) Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball Dingo eats a woman's baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government continues to shit itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • Blue Jays fans' livers and kidneys On this day... November 6: Rickroll Day 1962 - Rick Astley born (homosexual). 1987 - Astley robs a bank and finds himself involved in hopeless gunfight but vows never to give up. Has idea for song. 2007 - the first recorded Rickroll amuses internet uses for 15-20 minutes. 2010 - the last recorded Rickroll, performed by your dad. 2025 - Kids these days. Don't even know what a Rickroll is.
Featured picture Each year, Uluru's paint is refreshed to prepare for the upcoming tourist season. Image credit: Hindleyite View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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