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For every 10 production workers a company has, there needs to be at least one employee who stands there with his arms folded and watches them. However, in modern times, it's not uncommon to have a single yet highly devoted control freak to supervise scores of employees. HowTo: Be A Production Manager is the perfect guide for anyone who finds themselves thrown into this lucrative position through nepotism, extortion or influential friends. A Production Manager essentially acts as the liaison between the office staff and the dregs of society known as production workers. The unpleasant part of the job is that sales and management are able to use you as the focal point of their rage, due to the inherent responsibilities of the position, and the traditional purpose of the Production Manager is to transfer that abuse to the bottom of the employee food chain. When you play your cards right, everyone will be fighting amongst themselves and the winds of blame shall never touch your sails. (Full article...) Recently featured: Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism? ... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude? ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does? ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation? ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s? ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl? ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism? ... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude? ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does? ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation? ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s? ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl? ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism? ... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude? ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does? ... that the process of dying and coming back to life as a cow is known as reincownation? ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s? ... that if you poke a whale in the tummy it will giggle like a schoolgirl? ... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured) ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"? ... that I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It was written by a computer? ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?	In the news "USA! USA!" Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about On this day... February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day 1455 - The Gutenberg Bible is first printed, God brags that he is now a published author. 1923 - Werner Heisenberg plans to describe the uncertainty principle to his peers, but is unsure if they'll like it or not. 1941 - Scientists first create Plutonium, but instead of getting cool superpowers they just get cancer and die. 1947 - The International Organization for Standardization is founded to make Americans feel insecure about the customary system. 1999 - Kurdish leader Abdullah Öcalan is sentenced to death by Turkey due to mustache jealousy. 2015 - Vin Diesel (Pictured) says the word family so many times it doesn't even sound like a word anymore.
Featured picture This is NOT a potato. René Magritte's homage to Uncyclopedia. It could be a chipolata, actually; it's not a great painting either way. Image credit: Sannse View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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