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I had been preparing for this night for months, and I was ready. I was ready for February 6th, the night of the High School Science Fair, which I was ready for. I'd spent weeks getting my project ready: writing my research papers, refining my experiments, and otherwise getting ready. Now it was the big night, and I stood readily in front of a large, three-sided display board covered with numerous complex-looking graphs, charts, and photographs of plants. I just stood there, completely and utterly ready. My brilliance oozed from every piece of data--and I was ready. The first judge walked up to where I was standing. I was sure that he could already see just how amazing my science project truly was, but I knew that I'd have to explain it at least a little, if only to make certain that none of my groundbreaking research went sailing over the judge's pathetically empty head. "What is your project?" he asked, eying 2 perfectly normal plants in front of the intricately crafted poster. "Well," I said, "These plants are both exactly the same. Regular, normal plants with no variables or changes. But watch, very closely, as I make this one..... Disappear!!" (Full article...) Recently featured: Mario Kart Presidential Wrestling Classic HowTo:Eat an orange UnNews:A dingo ate my baby Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago United States v. Cthulhu, featured on 10 November 2024: Featured version Did you know... *... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them? ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services? ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them? ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services? ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them? ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services? ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?	In the news "BOMBOCLAAAAAT!" Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! (Pictured) United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race US government shitdown inundates over 1000 flights with shit Democrats finally cave and end the shitdown New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball Dingo eats a woman's baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government shits itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career • Coral reefs • The economy of Capitalism in NYC • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami Dolphins On this day... November 12: Lightning Awareness Day 1513 - In one of his lesser-known works, "Mein Scheisskampf", Martin Luther claims to have gotten into a battle with the devil, flinging his "Scheisse" as a weapon. No shit. 1620 - A number of pirates shipwreck on a gigantic rock off the Massachusetts coast. In a measure to combat cannibalism amongst the surviving members, the Mayflower Compact is signed. In the end, however, nine are eaten with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. 1775 - American Revolutionary War: The Continental Congress passes a resolution creating two battalions of mimes, later renamed the United States Mime Corps. They are primarily used as human shields. 1880 - Ned Kelly is hanged in Australia for beating around the bush. 1996 - The Paris Hilton opens for its first customer. 2001 - An American Airlines plane dives into a neighborhood in Queens. Dominicans celebrate with Irish locals of this event.
Featured picture After tiring of bourgeois racing events such as MotoGP and Formula One, Valentino Rossi enters the competitive world of Potato Sack Racing Image credit: Sonje View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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