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MOSKVA, CCCP -- World is full with shock at surprise launch of satellite with name of Sputnik 1. Satellite, make from alloy of secret construction, was lift to space by Semyorka rocket with fuel of liquid in morning of today, and at time that is now orbits about world making beep-beeps of electronic radio-type. Up on hearing of news Yanquis of Amerika are rush to hiding in underground shelter of bomb. Their fear and frightening is said by comrade Sergei Nesmeyanov, Ambassador of CCCP in place of Washington, to "Making us in office of Soviet Embassy be out loud releasing of laughter. I listen to President of Amerika on radio of Capitalist transmission get down on knees and be begging for citizens of Yanqui country to '...rise up and be throwing off of chain.' Today is victory of scale more large than winning of Europe in Great Patriotic War." (Full article...) Recently featured: Harvey Weinstein Gouverneur Morris China UnNews:NASA bamboozled as North Star disappears Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Nevermind, featured on 25 November 2024: Featured version UnNews:Saw X still the only logical candidate for Best Picture, featured on 25 November 2023: Featured version Why is book?, featured on 25 November 2022: Featured version Did you know... *... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939?	In the news YANKEES SUCK! The New York Yankees now fucking suck (Pictured) Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race US government shitdown ends after over 1000 flights inundated with shit Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • the New England Patriots suddenly being good again Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they might actually miss the playoffs • Weed On this day... November 25: Feel Vague Anxiety Whilst Examining A Tattoo You Got On A Drunken Impulse Day 1622 - The toasted sandwich is invented in a joint venture by the Earl of Sandwich and the Duke of Toast. 1901 - Ernst Schrödinger, inventor of the Uncertainty Principle, was born on this day. Or was he? 1997 - Princess Diana dies in car crash after driver is distracted by the 'I love Charlie' on her right buttock. 2006 - Europeans give thanks for the farsighted move of kicking Ayn Rand off their continent. 2006 - Rush Limbaugh suffers great embarrassment after an assistant leaks information about his secret tattoo depicting two men engaging in immoral acts.
Featured picture Exodus 32: 15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written. 16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables. Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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