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Gas tungsten arc welding is just one of many exciting possibilities in the glorious world of welding. It uses a nonconsumable tungsten electrode to produce a quite fascinating thingumy made of metals all stuck together in a sort of tungstenny mass, but without the excess residue, embarrassment or shame of ordinary welding. The common view of the general public, by which I mean that large group of generalised unwashed people who count for such things, and of whom I may truthfully count none as my friends - gas tungsten arc welding is not as interesting as going to discos and playing loud music on illuminated stereophonic devices. But to these people, it has to be said, "fiddlesticks", and perhaps even "fiddlesticks with knobs welded on", for in actuality and reality, there is nothing quite as interesting, and dare I say it, erotic, on God's goodly earth, as welding with gas. Now, I raised the thorny issue of sex there, and I did so with serious purpose of mind. For it has to be said that gas tungsten arc welding is almost like sex in every way, except without all that heavy panting and tongues and squelching. Some people, you should know, actually prefer welding to sex. Grown men can find real passion with a rod of tungsten, some gas and an arc. And that, my friend, there is nothing weird about. Maybe you think there is. If so, please remember.... gas tungsten arc welding can also be used to make bombs. (Full article...) Recently featured: Video essay Charlie Kirk Cyberbullying Velociraptor Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?	In the news One simply cannot piss until he scans this. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government continues to shit itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake (Pictured) BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • Ace Frehley • Any hopes for a KISS reunion Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom • Coral reefs On this day... October 18: International Funk Day (Portugal), Radiation Day 0023 - God lost control of the universe yet again, causing countless miracles. Luckily, Jesus thought fast and found an explanation for all those fish everywhere. 1000 - Due to linguistical differences in many parts of the world, many people have unfortunately mixed up International Funk Day with International Spunk Day. Kleenex has a field day. 1955 - All Hell Breaks Loose in Wittinghermandershire Upon Broohavensmarshington, England when a portal to the dark underworld is discovered by a chimney sweep mistaking an inconspicuous closet door for that of the men's lavatory in a small, inconspicuous pub. The scene of dark beings invading the earth is compounded by the fact that the chimney sweep failed to realize that the "urinal" into which he chose to relieve himself was, in fact, a dark being. And, although dark beings are, in fact, dark beings, they do have feelings too and do not, contrary to popular belief, appreciate being urinated upon by chimney sweeps. 1960 - Funk music, Jazz's retarded brother is born. 1978 - U.S. President George Clinton puts Portugal under a groove. Portuguese population introduced to blow. 2002 - Jacques Chirac is elected in France, funky disco dancing ensues. 2002 - Parisians realize how gay Disco Dancing is, rioting ensues. 2006 - Kim Jong Il funks the world with Mass Destruction, giving celebration to all of the days' occasions. 2557- 25 different types of cheese are discovered on the bottom of the ocean. Scientists are baffled and manage to retrieve 16 of the different types. A German hypnotist later publishes the findings in a kids weekly coloring book; it becomes an instant best seller.
Featured picture Expedition Time! Come on, grab your guides We'll go to very distant lands With Lewis the Governor and Clark the veteran The fun will never end, it's Expedition Time! Image credit: Nikau (talk) View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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