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The Lincoln-Douglas Debates were a series of seven debates held throughout the windswept steppes of Wenatchee during the Senate campaign of 1858. Unlike modern Senate campaigns in Illinois, the candidates were not an al Qaeda operative and a dude from Maryland. Like modern campaigns however the candidates were a corrupt Democrat from Chicago running against an inept Republican from downstate. The campaign also differed from today in that the average voter actually gave a rat's ass about the election. The candidates were James "Buster" Douglas, former World Heavy Weight Champion of Debating, and backwoods hick Abraham Lincoln. While Douglas won the election, the national attention would aid in Lincoln's bid for President two years later.

The debates were held in the seven major college towns of Illinois: Bloomington, Charleston, Chicago, Dekalb, Macomb, Ottawa, and Urbana. The sites were selected for the proximity of bars and hot coeds, politicians being politicians even in the 1850s. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Did you know...

*... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it?

In the news

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Boxer shorts, like a real man. And Bruce Lee black pants.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenDiogo JotaTexas flood victims • LA ICE raids • Connie FrancisAlan Bergman

Upcoming deaths: DEITom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAThe flowers you bring Alan Bergman

On this day...

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July 18: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day

  • 1835 – Bobwire is invented by Bob "Two-thumbs" McGinty.
  • 1863 – American Civil War: Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, and Morgan Freeman charge a Confederate fort in what is commonly agreed to be one of the most passionate scenes in cinema history.
  • 1872Britain introduces secret ballot voting so that aristocrats across the country may more convincingly drop their monocles in indignant surprise after the rabble have their way.
  • 1879Oscar Wilde obtains the cane he becomes known for posing with during a contest of wit with a man owning a cane.
  • 1883Jimmy the Cowboy is born in what is believed to be Kentucky.
  • 1969 – Mary Jo Kopechne & Sen. Ted Kennedy plunge off Chappaquiddick Bridge, thus tying up all the lose ends.
  • 1971Hunter S. Thompson has a rather nasty trip. Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride Day established in honor of this occasion.
  • 1990 – Interruptions continued to occur in all aspects of daily business as people repeatedly were urged to "stop" during the period known as "Hammer Time".

Featured picture

Piglet's Mugshot
...the Hundred Acre Wood-wide police crackdown netted Piglet, shown here in his mugshot after being charged with vagrancy, operating a wheelbarrow while intoxicated, hunting woozles without a licence, smuggling of unpasteurized honey across state lines...

Image credit: Modusoperandi
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Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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