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Theodor Seuss Geisel (pronounced /ˈɡaɪzəl/; March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) was an American writer and cartoonist most widely known for his children's books written under the pen names Dr. Seuss, Theo. LeSieg and, in one case, Jozef Fritzel. He published 44 children's books, which were often characterized by imaginative characters, rhyme, and frequent use of really BIG FONTS. His most celebrated books include the bestselling "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish", "Horton Hires a Ho!" and "The Joy of Sex". Generations of young Americans grew up comforted by his friendly style and exciting illustrations while, simultaneously, being made aware of the benefits of a diet rich in green ham and the dangers of inviting fast-talking but unidentifiable animals into the house while their parents were not home. The man millions world wide had come to think of as Dr Seuss, departed this Earth in 1991, leaving his heirs richer to the tune of $40 million, and the world's children poorer for his loss. In 2002, terrorist attacks on New York provoked panic across the United States. Many millions of people were unable to cope, having been brought up to believe that the biggest danger to the American way of life was the ever-present threat of a Grinch stealing Christmas. The White House responded by recruiting noted psychic James Bogus to interview Geisel via Ouija board. The result was the publication of his final books (the first written posthumously), starting with "The Git who Stoned Christians". (Full article...) Recently featured: Tesco Aragorn Donald Duck Why?:You should not vote for my dog. Just DON'T! Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%? ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%? ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans? ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%? ... that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?	In the news Those poor bastards. North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured) Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard On this day... December 9: Belisarius' Hairdo Day (Turkey) 526 - Justinian's favorite general, Belisarius, gets a terrible haircut from a Gothic barber. 1958 - The John Birch Society is founded to fight the perceived threat of certain types of trees. 1967 - Canada invades Greenland, prompting what most historians regard as the most boring war in the history of mankind. 1976 - The CIA fabricates much of the Western United States from Balsa wood and duct tape.
Featured picture The Pontius Pilot is infamous for some functionality issues. One typical complaint is that the Microsoft Crucifixion program often crucified incorrect and important data, such as the Messiah. Thankfully for its users, the file would miraculously reappear two days later after descending to the Recycle Bin, not three as some mathematically illiterate biblical scholars would tell you. Image credit: Savethemooses View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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