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Recently featured: Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis? ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings. ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis? ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings. ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis? ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings. ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? ... that the only way to survive a massive nuclear blast is to crouch underneath your desk? ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together? ... that grave robbing accounts for 1/3 of the average Romanian yearly income? (Pictured) ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive? ... that virgins are actually alien beings with zero sex organs, and reproduce via telekinesis? ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten? ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.	In the news He literally fought nail and tooth for Team America Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey (Pictured); Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over • Team Canada rethinking life Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Winter Olympics • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • YouTube • Tom Noonan • Eric Dane • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team • Some Nerd named Robert Carradine Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy and snow handling capability • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to remember • Mexico On this day... February 24: "I don't care what day it is" Day 1803 - In Marbury v Madison, two men named Mr. Marbury and Mr. Madison fight each other with canes, and the Supreme Court decides who wins. 1863 - People on their way to California collapse from heat while traveling across the desert, and rather than dying with humanity, they found Arizona. 1920 - God decides today is a good day to create Nazis, a few select Germans suddenly feel an unusual aversion to international Jewry. 1942 - Aliens attack the city of Los Angeles! (Pictured) They're confused for Japanese soldiers due to racism. 1978 - Five men disappear after attending a college basketball game in California. The bodies of four of them were actually clones of the same person. 2007 - Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe launches a spy satellite to perv on Kim Jong-un's sister, Kim Yo-jong. 2008 - Fidel Castro retires, spends the rest of his days smoking cigars and laughing at assassination attempts.
Featured picture The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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