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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that my mom's name is also Martha?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)
- ... that while I have no idea what this means, all I know is that I just lost my life savings while some other guy just bought his fifth yacht? (Pictured)
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
- ... that 100% of people who are rushed to the hospital will die?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
 - ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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