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Such woe, my bladder filled right to the brim,
If but perchance I sought to take a leak
Yet now my pantaloons now stainèd swim
In urine which now dribbles down my feet!
If only to the loo I'd gone posthaste,
Such musings are the act of lesser men;
My fav'rite pair of leggings would not waste,
But truth be told, I'll piss my pants again.
I never learned to listen to 'ol Blad
My colon wretches yet I never poo
Now brown and yellow mix with tidings glad,
Instead of me relaxing on the loo.
(Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
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In the news
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On this day...
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September 18: God's Birthday. Happy birthday, God!
- Infinity B.C. - God is born. Exactly how this happens remains of of the great mysteries of time, especially since the date is known with precision.
- 4004 B.C. - God receives the universe as a birthday present, but loses interest when He discovers that it is infested with parasites
- 3200 B.C. - S'dhkai, a canaanite, is struck down by lightning when he forgets God's birthday.
- 1300 B.C. - God decrees to his peoples that the holiest Number shall be 91. When griping ensues, God relents and changes to the much easier to remember 7.
- 854 A.D. - God creates Hell once the most wicked neighborhoods of Heaven reach capacity.
- 2001 - God gets drunk at His birthday party and passes out in Buddha´s bathroom.
- 2005 - God is found passed out drunk in a dumpster behind a Denny's. God is forced to attend rehab.
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,675 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including April Fools/2014!:
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