Uncyclopedia:April Fools/2014

Embedded Flash object (requires Javascript)

the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.

40,979 articles in English

Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.

Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.

Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Featured today, a long long time ago
	Wheeling Jesuit University, featured on 4 April 2025: Featured version

Did you know...

... that What's-his-name off that thing (Pictured) was in that film with that other dude?

... that your nipples (Pictured) can fall off?

... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured)

... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?

... the secret to good advertising is to lie? (Pictured)

... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
... that I think you know what's happening today?
... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... tennis isn't just a game?
... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?

... that Gerry Adams IS the Lord of the Dance? (Pictured)

... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
... that this is why we can't have nice things?
... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?
... that the sound of a kitten falling into a wood chipper is still more pleasant than listening to Kidz Bop?
... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win?
... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?

... that Canadian baseball (Pictured) is a thing?

... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap?
... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?

... that Christmas was cancelled in 1984 after an unfortunate accident between Santa and a Boeing 747? (Pictured)

... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal?
... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
... that your fly is unzipped?
... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP UnNews – Podcast – Subscribe via iTunes
On this day...
April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq) 3141 BC - The world's first great pi was baked. It took $\pi$ years to eat. 1949 - Iceland's blundered declaration of war on the USA leads to the accidental formation of NATO. 1503 - Disneyland Central America opens in the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan. 1975 - You really should have bought shares in Microsoft, which was formed on this day. 1984 - President Ronald Reagan calls for an international ban on something or other, oh hell I can't remember. (Pictured) 2001 - The butterfly effect is proved in an ingenious experiment, causing devastating hurricane damage in China. 2002 - Actor Mickey Rooney begins his process of decomposition. Archive – View tomorrow

Today's featured picture

During the early to mid-1990s, drive-by giraffing was a major problem throughout Europe and Africa. Since then numbers have reduced, following a pact between rival gangs. However, they are on the rise in Los Angeles once again, particularly in and around the zoo, as African giraffe's attempt to reestablish dominance in their neighborhoods.

Image credit: RadicalX
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

|}

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,979 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including English!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 40,979	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
	Désencyclopédie Français France 8936	Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6417	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 6303	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105	伪基百科汉语 China 8269
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2187	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2812	Celwyddoniadur Cymraeg Wales 103	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 10	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 19	Kengencyclopedia Lëtzebuergesch Luxembourg 7
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234	Neciclopedie Română Romania 167	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.