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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)

- ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that Pigpen had a collection of over 200 various skin diseases during his childhood? (Pictured)
- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
- ... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
- ... that while most Popes don't shit in the woods, sometimes bears are Catholic?

- ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
- ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that the universe is made up of protons, electrons, neutrons and morons?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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