User:Rickyrab/Belldandy

Belldandy is a wannabe Norse but really Japanese Goddess and a planet.

“Too old”

~ Brian Peppers on the obvious lack of being a child

“AAAAAHHHH!!”

~ Keiichi Morisato on his obvious lack of composure around Belldandy

“We did not expect her...”

~ The Spanish Inquisition on discovering Belldandy was expecting them

“Boy, I'd like to settle her...”

~ Oscar Wilde on the topic of Belldandy (the Planet, presumably)

“Is she white? She is white, isn't she?”

~ Robert Mugabe on the obvious lack of Black Power in Belldandy

She's reaching out for your penis...hah, you wish!

Belldandy the Goddess

Belldandy is a very very hot goddess that you have absolutely no chance with, so don't even ask. She likes Baskin Robbins ice cream, although its teaming up with Dunkin' Donuts has her switching to Carvel. Her sisters are a love child from Hell, Urd (her mom ain't bad tho) and a fucking 12 year old, Skuld. She never visits Islam, and generally, they don't visit her. She will never, ever admit it, but she would like to bang really bad her human boyfriend she has been with BEFORE TIME BEGAN, Keiichi, but he's an incredibly homosexual man who suffers from incredible blue balls. Some suspect he is a spy sent by the Glorious Motherland Of Eternal Happiness And Prosperity, North Korea. That's why Belldandy made secret lesbian connections with The Grand Bitchess Of Engerland. When not on the prowl in nightclubs or in an insane asylum, Belldandy joins Michael Savage and Hitler in a temple and listens to dumb Nordic Rune tapes of Rammstein. No CDs. They all got stolen by Neptoon. Too bad really.

For some odd reason, ice cream is non-fat whenever she eats it. Yes she may get incredibly drunk with soda but its a price to pay for being so damn hot...and a goddess. But why do you need to know that? You're never getting her anyways.

Belldandy the Planet

Belldandy was settled by Belldandy in the times of old (approximately 163 years ago...about), making this planet one of the few planets settled by a Goddess that it was named for after it was named for Her. The goddess lives on the far side of the planet, in the hobbit-hole named Yggdrasil (I DARE ya to try and pronounce that!). It is a jungle world, often mistaken for the planet where Yoda lived after getting his ass whupped by some dude named Darth Somebody. (Those Dark Weirdos of the Sick are too easy to mix up with one another, so scuse me.). Nonetheless, Belldandy (the Planet) is tropical and very steamy (in a non-pornographic way, you pervert), and Belldandy (the Goddess) LOVES the fruit grown there...and also the music made by the Belldandese Bhangra, a flying, colorful, if insane species of immense dancing qualities, whose large hair growth powers the ovens that run 48/4 on Belldandy.

Due to its rumored abundance in good grass, hippies from Vermont are planning a manned expedition there in 2420. Well, not actually manned, but by "spirit travel", or some Communist New Age Bullshit like that. They are *said* to be seeking "assistance" from peyote-smoking Yaqui Indians led by some guy named Don Juan. Rumor is that he's got the stuff. Also rumored - Wisconsin just might change religions from Packerism to Belldandy...maybe. Anything's possible.

[[Image:300px-Keiichi_Morisato.png|left|thumb|157px|Can you believe THIS loser is stopping <insert name here> from getting Belldany. This idot even tried to have sex wis his own sister.