User:Orangutang94/Warren G. Harding
Warren Gangsta "Warren G. Hardass" Harding was the first gangsta President of the United States, for better or for worse. He presided over what would become the "Rioting 20s" when America was robbed of its legal booze, but the bootleggers wouldn't snooze. President Warren G. had some shady deals with the T-pot gang and played poker and dice during his entire presidency. Unfortunately, he was the embodiment of "live by the gun, die by the gun", but before he could get his ass popped, the pussy overdosed on purple drank, having run out of bootleg booze, and suffered a heart attack like a wuss. He wouldn't go out in a blaze of glory like future president Jack Fortnite Kennedy and shortly after he was six feet under, his entire legacy was shown up by his accomplice Silent Cal, AKA Cal Dogg.
President Warren G. was also a playa, making Bill Clinton look like a soyjack, as he actually became the baby daddy to Nan Britton, something Clinton's weak-ass sperm couldn't do to Monica Lewinsky.
Here's President Warren G.'s death song:
REGULATE (Roaring 20s bootlegger edition)
President Warren G ft. Cal Dogg
- It was a clear black night, a cool December,
- Harding's in the White House, a time to remember.
- Bootleggers on the streets, making that dough,
- Italian Mafia deals, running the show.
- Just hit the East Side of the District o' C.,
- On a mission trying to find President Warren G.
- Seen a car full of bootleggers, ain't no cheese,
- All you skirts know what's up with the Harding streak.
- So I hooks a left on the Capitol,
- Some brothers shooting dice, so I said, "Let's roll."
- These guys peepin' me, I'ma glide and swerve,
- These flappers looking so hard, they straight hit the curb.
- Gotta get my mind right, before the night ends,
- I see the Mafia's ride, and all my friends.
- They got a lot of liquor, it's going down,
- I can't believe it's happening in my town.
- I'm getting jacked, I'm breaking myself,
- I can't believe they're taking Warren's wealth.
- They took my bling, they blackmailed my ass,
- I looked at the gangstas, said, "Damn, what's next?"
- They got my homie hemmed up, and they all around,
- Ain't none of them seeing if they going straight pound for pound.
- They wanna come up real quick before they start to clown,
- I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down.
- They got guns to my head, I think I'm going down,
- I can't believe this happening in my own town.
- If I had wings, I would fly, let me pay my own bail,
- I glanced in the cut and I see my homie Cal.
- Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole,
- Cal Dogg is about to make some bodies turn cold.
- Now they droppin' and yellin', it's a tad bit late,
- Cal Dogg and Warren G had to regulate.
- Harding's heart gave out, in '23 he fell,
- Leaving behind a legacy, some say straight from hell.
- But the flappers kept dancing, the booze kept flowing,
- In the roaring 20s, bitch, the party kept going.
- Now Cal got the freaks, and that's a fact
- Before my heart attack I was on the same track
- Back up, back up, 'cause it's on
- Silent C-A-L and me, the Warren to the G.
- If you know like I know, you don't wanna step to this
- It's the bootleg era, jazzed out with a gangsta twist
- If you smoke like I smoke, then you're high like every day
- And if yo' ass is a busta, Silent Cal will regulate
