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NEW YORK,Ny-There It Was.A Man Was Really Drunk And He Did Really Crazy Stunts.Reporters Say He Was Also On Crack.He Survied This Really Big Day But It Was Suicadel.

His First Stunt Was To Blast Himself Off A Canon To Mars.He Passed.But He Hit His Head On Mars But UnInjured.Police Say He Was A Crazy Basterd Doing This Stuff.The Warner Bros Decided They Should Get All They Can To Get This Crazy Basterd.He Was Running And Running Untill He Reached Ass, Italy. (more...)

Recently featured: Uncyclopedia:Accuracy ^{[citation needed]} - Gay people

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Yesterday's featured article

Gay people are wrong. Ignore them. Don't get too close. They can be known to:

A. Bite

B. Suck your cock

Did you know...

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the police are at your door?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the police are at your door?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the police are at your door?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?

... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)

... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth?
... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?

... that the Black Knight always triumphs? (Pictured)

... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that the police are at your door?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?

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In the news
Guy Gets Crazy UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
March 29: National Treason Day 30 AD - Judas Iscariot betrays his best friend Jesus for a Coke, gets a Pepsi from the Sanhedrin instead. Heartbroken, he hangs himself. 1792 - King Gustav III of Sweden is assassinated when conspirators remove the structural dowels in his HATTEFJÄLL office chair. 1847 - American troops sack the Mexican city of Veracruz, steal the secrets of the fish taco from its denizens. 1857 - Indian Sepoys mutiny against the British after being forced to endure their take on Indian cuisine. 1951 - Julius and Ethel Rosenberg are arrested for giving the Soviet Union secrets of the nuclear family. 1973 - William Calley, U.S. Army officer responsible for the My Lai Massacre, is given numerous high-fives for his "epic" K/D ratio. 2019 - The United Kingdom leaves the EU, as per the deal, the entire British Isles will be towed into the Bermuda Triangle. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...