UnNews:Q announces peace between Humans and Ferengi

Tuesday, August 18, 2020

Humans Q Ferengi!

Q CONTINUUM -- Q, the President of the United Q's of Q, has just announced to Q from Q Network that essentially, Humans and Ferengi have agreed to normalize their relationships, with a final goal of reaching a full peace agreement. This does not mean, of course, that the Ferengi will stop orgasm by getting their ears rubbed, or stop abusing women for fun and money. This also does not mean that Human preachers will stop having sex with little boys. By relationships, Q is referring to normal relationships between a Q and a Q, as is ordered by the Holy Q, delivered to Q by Q itself on the mountain of Q, as was witnessed by all of Q.

For now, Humans have promised to give up their plans to add the Borg's biological and technological distinctiveness to their own. In return, the Ferengi have promised absolutely nothing, except maybe to admit that the Borg's resistance to Humanity is futile.

Klingons were displeased by the agreement, to say the least. They even called the Ferengi the Jews of non-Humans, which sounds much better in Klingon, even better in Yiddish, and the best in Q:

“ Q ”

But the Ferengi resisted the pressure and are about to become the third alien species to have established peace with Humans, following the Vulcans in 1979 and the Tribbles back in 1994.

Q&Q

Yo, Q here. You can ask me some Q's and I will try my best to supply the best Q's as possible. Go ahead, bitches.

Hey, that was a nice Q. The Q is, of course, the fucking Breen. They are the worst! No one knows how they actually look like because all of the wrinkles on their faces! And they are so fucking senile! I mean, I know I can sound a bit senile myself sometimes, but come on!

Q

K, that was my Q. Q are calling me back. Hope you had a good time reading my Q and hope it was some good Q. I don't give a Q if you do, honestly. I don't even know what I said!

This is the Q for the Q between Q and Q. Please remember to vote Q and Q in the upcoming Q! If you don't, Q will come and get you!

Sources

• Betsy Klein "Israel and the UAE establish 'full normalization of relations'" CNN, August 13, 2020

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