Covering yourself in blood and children's feces

Every year cute Japanese girls smear blood and children's feces all over their naked breasts to celebrate the summer solstice and to ensure a bountiful harvest.

Covering yourself in blood and children's feces is a recreational pursuit undertaken by hundreds of thousands of Japanese people every year, as well as a handful of people who are not from Japan. The practice, which dates back thousands of years, involves participants, who range in age from young children to elderly people, smearing large quantities of blood and children's fecal matter all over their (usually naked) bodies for up to twelve hours at a time.

History

While the earliest recorded instance of this practice comes from the first century AD, Japanese people are believed to have covered themselves in blood and children's feces for many centuries before that. It is believed the practise originated among Shinto monks in southern Okinawa who believed that smearing blood and children's feces across their bodies would allow them to achieve a state of enlightenment and oneness with nature. Blood was seen to represent life while the children's feces represented waste and decay - together they represented the duality of life and decay, dark and light, good and evil present throughout nature. As such the rite in some sense was a primitive variant of the Taoist concept of yin and yang.

This belief began to spread throughput the region of Okinawa, where it merged with local traditions concerning the harvest and the sun. Gradually, covering yourself in blood and children's feces changed from being a rite of personal and spiritual exploration to one petitioning the invisible forces of nature to bring forth a good harvest.

Famous Japanese General Oda Nobunaga, the initiator of the unification of Japan under the rule of the Shogun in the late Sixteenth Century, is known to have been particularly fond of covering himself in blood and human feces, and declared a festival dedicated to the pursuit, to be held on the summer solstice each year. Large quantities of feces were collected from children throughout the province of Owari, while huge numbers of whales were slaughtered to provide the blood for the festivities. The tradition of slaying whales for this purpose persists to this day, although the international ban on whaling has lead to attempts to disguise the annual whale-cull as scientific research.

Emperor Hirohito attempted to the ban the traditional covering yourself in blood and children's feces festival when he came to power in 1926. This lead to widespread civil unrest throughout Japan, with the famous Children's Shit Riots in Tokyo leading to hundreds of deaths. Hirohito was forced to back down, and the festival was reinstated, although members of the police and armed forces were prohibited from participating.

Although traditionally confined to Japan, in America the practice of covering yourself in blood and children's feces began to gain popularity among hippie communities in the 1960s, who began to experiment with eastern religions. In 1969, the first Woodstock festival took place, at which many participants rolled around in special pools of blood and children's feces while smoking marijuana or other mind-altering drugs.

In recent times, the practice has largely lost its religious and spiritual significance, and has become a somewhat popular past-time, particularly among certain youth subcultures.

Reasons why people do this

Covering yourself in blood and children's feces, while commonplace in Japan, has yet to penetrate into much of Western Culture, particularly outside of the more cosmopolitan urban centres. As such, many find the concept difficult to understand as it conflicts with Western traditions regarding the use of blood and children's feces. Below are some the reasons why individuals may choose to engage in this practice.

They are Japanese

Overwhelmingly, the main reason why individuals choose to cover themselves in blood and human feces is because they are Japanese. As noted above, Japan has a long and widespread tradition of covering yourself in blood and children's feces, which persists to this day. Noted travel-writer and former Monty Python star Michael Palin wrote "I can't think of a more quintessentially Japanese tradition than caking your naked flesh in gallons of blood and children's excrement. It's simply a marvellous experience." Every year, tourists flock to the streets of Tokyo for the annual Covering Yourself In Blood And Children's Feces Festival, which is held on the summer solstice, where hundreds of thousands of Tokyo residents cover themselves in blood and children's feces during a massive street party, usually featuring concerts and fireworks displays. In recent years, it has become fashionable for young Japanese couples to rub blood and children's feces into each other's genitals during wedding ceremonies instead of exchanging rings. This practice is colloquially known as a "brown wedding".

Shock Value

While covering yourself in blood and children's feces is accepted within Japanese culture, it is often seen as being repugnant to traditional Judeo-Christian moral values. As such, it has often been employed by transgressive artists, such as musicians Marilyn Manson and GG Allin, who transgress cultural and ethical taboos in order to challenge traditional values and attempt to hold a mirror up to the perceived hypocrisy, alienation and degradation of modern consumerist society. For example, artist Andres Serrano's 'Blood and Kids' Shit Christ', which features a crucifix in a beaker of blood and children's feces, directly juxtaposes two icons of Eastern and Western religions, in an ironic comment on the divide between Eastern and Western culture at large.

Because they have loads of blood and children's feces they don't know what to do with

Occasionally, an individual might come into possession of large quantities of blood and children's feces that they are unsure what to do with. This might, for example, be an unwanted Christmas gift from a treasured relative. In such circumstances, covering yourself in blood and children's feces might be the easiest way to use up the excess blood and children's feces that they have lying around.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

Children: you will need their shit and possibly their blood.

Often, people who are interested in experimenting with covering themselves with blood and children's feces have a number of reservations. Hopefully with these Frequently Asked Question we can help you on your way to being covered in blood and children's feces.

How do I procure enough children's feces?

If you are a child, the easiest way is probably to store up your own feces, perhaps in your locker at school or in a plastic bag under your bed. However, this can be a lengthy process. If you wish to speed up the process, perhaps you could invite your friends to defecate into your locker also. After all, they're not using it, why shouldn't you get the benefit?

If you are not a child you will need to locate some children and entice them to donate their excrement. If you are a parent, babysitter or teacher you can simply gather up the feces of the children in your care. Failing that, you will need to somehow gain access to a group of children. Children tend to congregate in parks, playgrounds and schools. Simply approach a group of children and politely ask them to defecate into a bag for you. It often helps to offer candy treats as an enticement. Alternatively, you could simply ask them to defecate directly onto your chest to save time.

Remember the feces of adults and adolescents, or of infants of other species are not considered an acceptable substitute for the feces of human children.

Where do I get the blood?

Blood is relatively easy to come by, as all humans and most animals contain several litres of blood. This can be accessed by opening the person or animal's blood vessels with a sharp object such as a knife and emptying the fluid into a container. If you need larger quantities of blood, perhaps for a family gathering or office party, local blood banks usually have fairly lax security and are thus quite easy to rob.

Are there any health risks?

Probably.

What do I do now?

Dunno, masturbate or something.

See also

• The Aristocrats
• Bad Taste

This article is part of the Wonderful Japan series