|
Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
- ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
 - ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
- ... Donald Trump? More like... Donald Gay! Hah, gottem!
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
- ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?
 - ... that a bird in the hand is better than crabs in your bush?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that Karen is a female given name meaning "she who wants to see the manager"?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
 - ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
|
|
In the news
|
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
|
On this day...
|
|
|
|
