User:Xander/Uncyclopedia 2
“Oh, crap, I hate sequels! They always ruin the original film.”
“Yeeeeesss, I'm, like, SOOOOOOO proud of having been involved in this *BEEP* movie!!!”
“After some consideration, I have decided to give this movie an F.”
The Uncyclopedia Movie 2: Incoherent Nonsense at the Edge of Sanity (or simply The Uncyclopedia Movie 2) is the thrilling sequel to the exciting action-packed blockbuster film The Uncyclopedia Movie. Following the pattern of the recent popular live-action martial arts film Ninjas of the Carribean, the The Uncyclopedia Movie series is like a salute to the somewhat archaic film credos of yesteryear. (i.e. if movies blow enough stuff up they make a million bucks[7])
Plot (or lack thereof)[edit | edit source]
Since this movie was directed by Captain Oblivious, it has absolutely no coherent plot whatsoever[8], but it can at best be interpreted as random tidbits of grues, Oscar Wilde quotes, Captain Obvious, Captain Sarcasm, gay-jokes, kitten huffing, All Your Base Are Belong To Us-references, a gigantic cosmic battle across multiply dimensions[9] between the entire Jesii Corps against the Green Lantern Corps (!!!), Wikipedia vandals, ban jokes, unusually vivid conspiracy theories featuring, amongst others, Emmanuel Goldstein and the CABAL, and lots and lots of squirrels (even more than in the previous movie), thrown into a mixer and then edited randomly into a completely nonsensical script that even Captain Oblivious himself has difficulties to follow. The film was originally intended to be directed by George Lucas, but he turned to the Dark Side early and left the film studio with an angry expression on his face (and seriously, who can blame him?). Even if the plot is completely incomprehensible, we will nonetheless try to give a try to explain it:
The Uncyclopedia Movie 2: Incoherent Nonsense at the Edge of Sanity is about a bunch of disillusioned former Wikipedia editors who have turned to the Dark Side. They immediately come under attack by specially trained grues and a brainwashed Green Lantern Corps[10] sent by CATS to restore Truth to the Wikipedia Universe[11]. They are defeated by the a joint effort between Jack Bauer, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, Mr. T, Samuel L. Jackson, Leonidas and the entire Jesii Corps, who travels back in time to the era of the dinosaurs to the save the Uncyclopedians and then accidentally brings back (or forward, depending on how you see it) a thousand T-rex's (what else did you expect?) with them to the modern age, a situation that of course needs to be rectified. Then the Thought Police come but Emmanuel Goldstein shows up and... (oh fuck, this is so embarrassing that I can't even go on, who would seriously watch this pile of dog turd anyway?!)
As is per custom for modern action movies, the plot had to be nauseatingly convoluted, in the hopes that it would cover up the fact that the script is really just incredibly stupid (this has become more common with the success of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.) Oscar Wilde used this trick before in the writing of many of his poems.
This shows a great contrast from the first Uncyclopedia film, which was rather like a boring historical documentary on the life of Oscar Wilde starring Samuel L. Jackson. OH and chunk Norris will come out and FIRE HIS LAZER!!!!!!
Offical Trailer[edit | edit source]
Musical Number[edit | edit source]
The Best Dialogue in the Film[edit | edit source]
Listen carefully, as they explain the meaning of Life in this scene.
Note: Please ignore the people at the bottom.
Ending[edit | edit source]
Critics about The Uncyclopedia Movie 2[edit | edit source]
“Hey! They haven't and we couldn't even finish the first movie yet!”
“This movie simply isn't very good.”
“Four thumbs down!”
“'ey that's my movie!”
“go eat shit fuckers”
“I got cramp im my wrist after watching it!”
“Worst film ever! (and I should know, I paid for it)”
“AaAAaaAAaaAAaa! I'm a million ladies tall!”
“^_^!”
“Zis moovie was pretty good!”
“WTF?”
Awards[edit | edit source]
None, since even the hardened Golden Raspberry Awards-jury immediately crawled under their beds in horror as soon as they were reminded of the living blasphemy that is the first Uncyclopedia Movie.
Rumors of possible third and fourth sequels[edit | edit source]
Recently, hollywood rumors have surfaced that Peter Jackson is going to film The Uncyclopedia Movie 3: Steve Ballmer's Revenge in New Zealand. It is rumored that Christopher Walken will be involved, but all rumors have been denied by the Christopher Walken Palace in Silicon Valley. Like all film series, the fourth movie after it will most definitely be set in deep space, about two hundred years into the future, be directed by Paul W. S. Anderson and will be loosely inspired by the works of H. P. Lovecraft. There have been rumours that in future sequals the creators will try to get carmine to reprise his role from the first movie.
“In Soviet Russia, The Uncyclopedia Movie 2 watches YOU!!”
See also[edit | edit source]
Footnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ And seriously, you shouldn't either. Consider yourself warned.
- ↑ This is actually a physical impossibility, since Jack Bauer is not a real person but a character played by Kiefer Sutherland, but hey, remember that Captain Oblivious wrote the script, which means that common logic does not apply to this movie.
- ↑ What the fuck? Again?
- ↑ Uncyclopedia did eventually get out of the copyright infringement problems with Domo-kun, and could therefore hire him to play Grue, very lucky as Frank Oz animatronic muppet grue was eaten by a real grue between the two movies.
- ↑ The only to actor to actually reprise his role from the first movie. Seriously, what the hell was he thinking?
- ↑ All four wanted to take on the Alan Smithee alias, but discovered that Martin Scorsese had already done that in the first movie, so M. took the first name he could remember.
- ↑ To be completely honest, that should actually be "if movies blows enough they make a million people puke".
- ↑ Seriously, random humour doesn't even begin to cut it, you'll have apply quantum logic and then some for this to be even remotely understandable
- ↑ Just kidding, that would actually be somewhat redeemable, wouldn't it? Actually it takes place in a McDonalds restaurant at lunch break and is extremely anti-climatic and disappointing.
- ↑ Which has nothing at all to do with the website, but merely thrown in as comic (and with comic, we really mean comic) relief and for further randomness.
- ↑ Is anyone even remotely understanding this? I'm not.
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