User:Simsilikesims/Chief Justice of the United States

The First Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Calvin Coolidge

The Chief Justice of the United States is the leader of the Supreme Court. There have been 5 Chief Justices, Sitting Bull, Calvin Coolidge, Brett Somers, Pat Robertson, and John Roberts. There will be a total of twenty before the Apocalypse.

Duties

The Chief Justice is responsible for convening the pow-wow for each session of the supreme court. At the opening of the session, the Chief Justice lights the peace pipe before passing it around to the other justices of the court. In addition to his other duties, the Chief Justice is also charged with finding a suitable encampment for the supreme court teepee.

It is prophecied that there will one day be a woman Chief Justice who will change the laws around and tell the men of the American tribe to stop drinking firewater. Shamans at top national laboratories doubt this prophecy because woman folk are too busy gossiping to catch buffalo wings, let along become Big Chief Justice.

Surprisingly it is not the Chief Justices job to clean up after dooty left behind by any litigants; that duty falls to the Vice President or dissenting judge.

List of Justices

• Calvin Coolidge (1523-1922)
• Bret Somers (1922-1981)
• Pat Robertson (1981-2005)
• John Roberts (2005-2009)
• Jay Leno (2009-2050)
• Kennedy Washington Quincy Adams Jefferson Roosevelt Jetson (3015 AD-1010 AM)