User:Orangutang94/Article itinerary
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Not gonna be that annoying asshole who turns their entire profile into a list of articles, so here's where I'll keep track of stuff (hopefully no one else claims this page as their profile. 'Cause then we're gonna have a problem and an asskicking...):
In progress[edit | edit source]
- Antonio Brown
- Cam Newton (do it in Cam text). Example: ℂāጡ 𝙉Ҽ𝓦ȶѺŊ Ī𝓢 ā ᵭ𝚄ᵭҼ.
- On second thought the page is now so tedious. Rework as "HowTo:Be a VEGAN football player! Starring Cam Newton"
- Joe Buck (do it in his boring, boring voice with the occasional terrible call. Similar to John Madden)
- Joe Burrow (faux police report inspired by Blade Runner, with Burrow as a replicant and Tom Brady as a blade runner writing the report, which gets rejected by the LAPD (who was paid off by the NFL)
- An article has been created by another user.
- Hot potato. Make it a decent page, maybe include an in-reference to Uncyclopedia itself being a hot potato
- Señor Chang or Ken Jeong. Ha! Gaeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!
Think about creating[edit | edit source]
National Hand-egg leeg-ah[edit | edit source]
- Ryan Fitzpatrick
- Jerry Jones
- Kyler Murray (redirect to Oompa Loompa or short jokes)
- Russell Wilson (more short jokes? Though his "Mr. Unlimited" comments and interception are kinda wacky)
- Derrick Henry (Attack on Titan style)
- Marshawn Lynch (Beast mode. Have it be an interview in which he gets asked ridiculous questions and all he says is "Yeah", or "I'm just here so I don't get fined")
- Kansas City Chiefs (Logo a parody of KFC, what else?)
- UnNews article on Brian Flores?
- Better version of Tim Tebow article. Take what's in the spoon, but make it better and worthy of this fork.
- New York Giants or Eli Manning page. Make it about the derp
- Raiders?
- L.A. Chargers. Ideas: Chargering, Philip Rivers' derpy face as their logo
- Pittsburgh Steelers. Do it in tone of UrinatingTree's "Yinzer" persona. And do a better job this time around so it doesn't get huffed like last time.
- Follow-up to Deshaun Watson/Cleveland Browns article with Browns having second thoughts on Watson and begging for Baker Mayfield to play, but getting rejected. Redirect Mayfield to here.
- Gus Johnson, the anti-Joe Buck. Make it have a lot of screaming and head a-splodes.
- Cris Collinsworth. Now here's a guy who failed all the way up from a terrible, horny football player to become the most hated announcer in the NFL!
- Lamar Jackson (make fun of the fact he is a "running back". Not bad for a running back!)
- Miami Dolphins: Ideas: fukka yuuuuu Dolpheeeeen! Also Dan Marino, coke/drugs, only fans are contrarians in Buffalo, NJ, and NE, as well as bandwagoners in Florida.
- Tennessee Titans: Attack on Titan, American legends style. Also, "Titan Up" becomes "Tits Up"
Bouncy Ball league[edit | edit source]
- Joel Embiid
- Giannis
- Stephen Curry
- Kawhi "Kawaii" Leonard
- Kevin Durant, noted ring chaser and freeloader.
- Lonzo, LaMelo, and LaVar Ball
- Jimmy Butler
- WNBA
Geography[edit | edit source]
- Rochester, New York: Garbage plates, Lovely Warren, Buffalo Jr, RIT, Kodak.
- Syracuse, New York: logo is a derpy "S", currency is Byrne Dairy, "Salty City"
DCEU/DCU and MCU stuff[edit | edit source]
- Snyder Cut... ehh, having a section on the main DCEU page should be enough, or an UnReview of it?
- "Badass" Aquaman/Jason Momoa combo. Other roles include:
- Khal Drogo
- Stargate Atlantis
- Duncan from Dune
- Henry Cavill. Have the page encompass all his role such as:
- DCEU Superman
- Warhammer
- The Witcher
- Mustache guy from Mission Impossible (it's all your fault we got mustache Superman, Paramount!)
- Those British spy comedies
Celebzz[edit | edit source]
- Lizzo. She's not fat, you're just meanie fat shamers. Also plays a dildo
- Nikocado the Avocado. He identifies as skinny. Its your fault he's fat cause you pay him to chow down.
- Hailee Steinfeld. Reference being the unknown voice of several characters like Vi and Spider-Gwen. And she's also in True Grit. And dating Josh Allen. She was also Taylor Swift's friend at one point??
Other people[edit | edit source]
- Logan Paul and/or Jake Paul
- Zack Snyder
- Drake, AKA Drizzy Fake, wannabe rapper who appropriates black culture
- Kendrick Lamar
- Cardi B
- Doja Cat
- Migos
Politicians[edit | edit source]
- Nikki Haley
- Gary Johnson. Just another stoner who ran on the Libertarian ticket!
- William Henry Harrison. Shortest tenured president gets shortest length article. Who cares if it's a stub, his entire presidency was a stub.
Star Wars[edit | edit source]
- Mandalorian
- Baby Yoda
- Rey
- Find a better way to write an actually funny article on Ahsoka Tano. You can do better than what the spoon has on her
- Gotta find some way to properly satire The Last Jedi... Saruman: So you have chosen... death!
Other entertainment[edit | edit source]
- Homelander/The Boys
- UnReview of Rebel Moon
- Dune Movies
- Halo TV show/Master Cheeks
- Another idea: "UnReviews: Angry German Kid reviews the Halo TV series"
- Fallout series
- Something about Invincible (superhero franchise), complete with characters (Mark/Invincible, Debbie, Nolan/Omni-Man being an evil ripoff of Superman, Atom-Eve, etc), comics, TV show, the memes
- BoJack Horseman. Really, nothing on this?
Film studios[edit | edit source]
- Sony Pictures (do we need a catch all or disambiguation page?)
- Columbia Pictures
- Adam Sandler as the mascot lol. Or that can be the secondary logo.
- Have the actual mascot, Lady Columbia, be Uncle Sam's ex-wife, who took this gig after he divorced her and fired her as America's female personification. Parody of Hollywood culture's old bias against women, having her be a has-been relegated to being a model (and as a slap to her face, have to pose like Uncle Sam's new wife).
- In her spare time, she's your typical tough-as-nails country gal: rides her pet Pegasus named TriStar, owns a bar, smokes, slays zombies with her torch, and is a rifle fanatic living down South, all while collecting royalties from the studio using her likeness as their logo. And she almost got into a relationship with Japan's prime minister until Uncle Sam flipped out, apologized, and made a deal with her.
- Be somewhat accurate regarding studio history, but with a comedic twist, and have Dot Warner be involved. Maybe touch on Harry Cohn being a massive dick (pun intended) and pretty much being Harvey Weinstein before Harvey Weinstein
- Hit or miss "All American" studio bought by a soda company, then sold of to the pride of Japan
- Filmography: Raunchy 1920s slapstick movies, 3 stooges, soap operas for dayz, Ghostbusters, crappy rom coms, Gigli, Spider-Man, Adam Sandler, Nicolas Cage, Will Smith, being completely clueless with superhero movies and needing Marvel's help
- Screen Gems
- AKA Scream Gems
- kid's cartoons with that horrifying S from Hell logo
- Cheap movies and horror movies
- AKA Scream Gems
- TriStar Pictures - anything, really? Can't think of much aside from the Pegasus being Lady C's pet
- Probably a thing that was better in the 90s as they actually made movies back then
- Sony Pictures Animation
- Columbia Pictures
- MGM
- ehh, what ideas do I have with this particular studio... the Lion, Wizard of Oz, James Bond
- Sony bought them lol
- Amazon bought them lol
- A24
- Netflix
- Universal/NBC Comcast
- Fast and the Furious refs
- E.T.
Streaming services (seriously, nothing on these yet?)[edit | edit source]
- Disney+ (idea, make the page portray it like an illicit drug)
- Paramount+ (or possibly make new section on Viacom)
- Netflix.
Other[edit | edit source]
Articles to fix. Like, seriously[edit | edit source]
- 20th Century Fox (done)
- Marvel Cinematic Universe. Add pictures (done)
- Add any articles to Uncyclopedia Marshals Service