UnNews:Gay NFL player dropped for being 'all gay and shit'

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Sam attempting to sack Rams quarterback Sam Bradford.

Michael Sam, the first openly gay American Footballer drafted into the US National Football League, has failed to make the St Louis Rams' final roster after colleagues complained he was 'being all gay and shit'.

Sam initially caused consternation among teammates when he tweeted "Ram till I die", as some thought that he was employing ram as a verb.

He was later accused of parading around the training ground in tight-fitting spandex pants, putting black eye makeup on under his eyes, and smacking teammates on the backside at regular intervals.

An insider in the dressing room who asked to remain anonymous (let's call him "number 82") told UnNews: "Nah man. We was tryin' to play a straight-up hetero game of football, and this boy is all like, standing behind the defensive line, right when they're bending over."

Other players were said to be unhappy that Sam insisted on holding onto them, grappling with them, and rolling around on the floor. Our insider added, "The nigga even wanted to get in the shower with us all naked. I don't want no faggot brother checking out me and the rest of the team - all nude and shiny and muscular, soaping up our tight bodies, maybe making fun of each other's dicks, getting ready for our post-training rubdowns.

"He wouldn't have been happy till all our tight ends were wide receivers, you know what I'm saying?"

However, it appears that Sam did make some fans while he was at the Rams. Sam Bradford, the Rams' starting quarterback, is set to be out for the season after Sam kissed him during training, leaving him with a broken heart.