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A pharmacist and his apprentice, performing intricate laser micro-surgery.
“I can't get into med school, I am too dumb to do or understand chemistry, I am too chicken to cut rats in Biology...That is why I chose Pharmacy”

an anonymous pharmacist

Apothecaries (as Pharmacists are known in fancy language) are people who can't get into med school, too dumb to do Chemistry, to chicken to cut rats in Biology.

Role as drug dealers, no, not that kind of drug dealer[edit | edit source]

  • Pharmacists offer general medical advice, psychological counseling, and a wide range of health services such as surgery and midwifery, which often results in death for people who took their advice seriously.
  • In between appointments, pharmacists take drugs.
  • Pharmacists are also experts in tooth extraction and other advanced dental procedures.
  • Pharmacists carry on their trade through a retail shop called a pharmacy, where they wear their lab coat and walk around doing nothing.
  • Treatments and surgeries are conducted by the pharmacist in the sterilized back room of the conveniently-located neighborhood pharmacy using modern, homemade tools.
  • Pharmacology was introduced when the discovery of cheese on the moon was found.
  • Pharmacists are sometimes scolded by doctors for trying too hard to act like a doctor.
  • Pharmacists plays an important role in being used as lab rats for testing new drugs.

Training[edit | edit source]

They were taught a 101 ways to wear their lab coat. They may learn a little bit about biology and chemistry.

Pharmacists are given expert training to stick labels on boxes. Do not let them tell you otherwise.

The watchwords in pharmacist's training are do nothing and look good in your white coat in a drug store everyday.

Continuing education[edit | edit source]

It is pointless, no matter how much they learn, they will forever be stuck as the dudes in white lab coat standing around in the drug store.

Future trends[edit | edit source]

No future for dudes in white coat. *Read above.