Homestuck
HUSSIE.
IF YOU ARE READING THIS, IT MEANS THAT YOUR WEBCOMIC HOMESTUCK NOW HAS ITS OWN UNCYCLOPEDIA ARTICLE. YOU HAVE TRULY CREATED A PHENOMENON.
I AM SO, SO PROUD OF YOU.
HUSSIE.
SEE THAT TEMPLATE TO THE RIGHT? THAT MEANS THAT YOUR WEBCOMIC HOMESTUCK NOW HAS ITS OWN WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE.
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.
“I don't get it”
“Neither do I”
Let me tell you about Homestuck.
Homestuck is a space opera written, drawn and animated by Andrew Hussie. While the internet is home to many a webcomic that can be described as a little left of centre, Homestuck, in terms of its sheer subversiveness and general mindfuckery, really takes the cake. In fact, it doesn't merely take the cake, it devours the cake, becomes completely enamoured with cake, invests in the baked goods industry over a number of years until it becomes the majority shareholder in several of the industry's largest companies and merges them all together into an evil global cake conglomerate. Just like the main character.
Style and development[edit | edit source]
While it has been described as a webcomic, the reality is that Homestuck barely follows the definition of a webcomic that others of its genre have[1] -that is, three or four strips that tell the lives and hardships of a lovable cast of geeks and nerds. Instead,Homestuck takes an innovative medium never tried before that intertwines text, still images and animation -whether it is a 3 second GIF image or a full-fleshed flash animation. This would make Homestuck one of the pinnacles of human artistry had it not grossly misuse the very medium that makes it unique. Thus, every few animation will be followed by a wall of text that goes on and on and only the most hardcore of fans will be (almost) able to get through. As such, it has been comoared to great works such us Ulysses, although the latter can actually be read throughout without being overidden by a strong feeling of wanting to kill yourself.
Homestuck was originally developed to be advanced via fan contributions, although later on Hussie decided to discontinue this method of advancing the plot in 2010. He stated the fan input method had “grew too unwieldy and made it difficult to tell a coherent story”. Seizing complete control of the plot has solved all these problems, and the comic is now practically synonymous with coherence and linearity to the point of making up stuff as time went on.
Fan community[edit | edit source]
Homestuck’s fan base has been described as in the millions. Exemplary of the community’s size, Hussie was able to destroy Flash game and animation site Newgrounds (motivated by a petty grudge) with a skillful and coordinated attack. He persuaded Newgrounds to host one of Homestuck’s Flash animations after putting the comic on hiatus for several months to maximize hype, and thus the resulting strain on Newgrounds’ servers.
Characters (or: Our cast of Dead Bodies)[edit | edit source]
Due to very... interesting design decisions when designing the webcomic, the Huss found himself with way too many characters, and in a fair and balanced move, decided to murder everyone... Forever.
The ones that matter[edit | edit source]
The Big Four[edit | edit source]
Back when this webcomic had a somewhat-coherent structure, the plot revolved around four 13-years old
- John Eggbert - The main character of Homestuck - or, rather, would be the main character of Homestuck, had there not been introduced a new character every 5 seconds. He's an autistic boy that wants to grow up just likes his father He's also "NOT a homosexual".
- Rosetta Stoned Lalonde - An emo girl that has quite an unmatched wit and an extensive vocabulary despite being a literal teenager.
- David Elizabeth Strider - The coolkid of the bunch; he's always wearing sunglasses and pumpin' up gansta rap about the life in the ghetto- despite his caucasian apereance. He's the very incarnation of The Offspring's song Pretty Fly for a White Guy.
- Jade Harly Davidson - An ADHD-ridden furry that likes to spend her time with his god-like pet and the corpse of his dead grand-father. She ends up merging with her dog, giving her god powers, a furry tail, dog ears
and a dog dicklet's forget that last one, shall we?
Alternatian Annoyers[edit | edit source]
Basically, internet trolls come from another universe. These are the ones that sparked the internet's attention, and the culprits that the fandom became polluted by emo Tumblr fangirls that shipped every character with every other character, kickstarting an Internet phenomena that would (sadly) live on to this present day.
The most important of these are:
- Karkat (beep beep meow) Vantias - A DICK TITS shouty asshole with DICK TITS Tourette's syndrome that will DICK TITS yell at DICK TITS anyone that crosses his DICK TITS path.
- Terezi Pyrope - A prosecutor that pursuits justice blindly. She's also the best Homestuck girl. Sorry, there's no debating that.
- Kanaya Mary - A lesbian vampire whose greatest contribution to the plot is being Rose's girlfriend.
- Vriska Serket - AKA the Spider8itch; a goth girl that has the power of plot armor by her side and always gets what she wants even though she doesn't deserve it. The very definition of a Mary Sue.
- Gumzy Mucker - Clown stoner that goes ape-shit crazy over some Insane Clown Posse song and kils like half of the cast. Oops, spoilers! Sorry...
Other trolls that also exist and are included in this category but die in like six seconds are:
- Aradead Maggot - By the time she's introduced in the comic, she's already dead.
- Tavros Nitram- He's Spanish, not latino, you idiots!
- Equius Zahorse - horse-fucker
- Eridick Ampora - The incel version of Harry Potter
- Feferi Fishgirl -W)(AAAAAAAAAT?????
Apart from these, there's also Beta Cocker, AKA Her Imperious Condescencion, who tries to take over the world by feeding people high-calories pastries and then flood the entire world, making them sink to the bottom due to their morbid obesity. Also, she's secretly black, so she might as well be Aunt Jemima.
The green New trolls- erm...Cherubim[edit | edit source]
These guys are Andrew Hussie's biggest demonstration of self-aggrandizing, both being representations of the fandom that spawned this very same webcomic, while being excused as some sort of meta-narrative.
- Khaliopee- Represents the "good" part of the fandom, which is the one that praises Hussie's works even when they're utter dogshit. Due to time-fuckery bullshit, she has an alternate counterpart, who's basically Emo Jesus but more Skull Lizard, that's supposedly the one destined to destroy the main villain, although the reader never gets to actually see any action, except some offscreen story of her eating him alive near a black hole.
- Khaledporn - Represents the "bad" part of the fandom; the one that prefers Hussie's older works to the chaotic abomination that is Homestuck, and is a tad edgier. Due to time-fuckery bullsit, he's destined to go back in time and merge his soul with three other characters to become LORD ENGLISH, the criminal mastermind behind the complete destruction of the universe.
Honorable mention[edit | edit source]
- Jack Black - Main villain during the first half of the comic; he's probably one of the coolest and most powerful characters in the entire cast -despite later achieving furry features. He sadly gets ditched in the second half and never comes back, along with his doppelganger "Spades Slick", which is equally cool (or even more) than him.
- Doc Scratch - Some thousands of years old gentleman on the moon, cloned from a crystal ball and a puppet. Doc Scratch roams the web, looking for girls to manipulate into fights, just for his plot to destroy the world and summon Lord English. Despite his strange interests in girls, he denies any allegation of pedophilia, stating that "i literally have no dick". He also happens to be the right-hand of the gang known as the Felt, putting him at odds with Slick. Hussie confirmed that he's based on the Devil and on some old west guy, hence the very clever name "Doc Scratch".
Others that are also there, in the background, doing... something, I suppose[edit | edit source]
The following is the excursioner's list for 4/13/2009 at 6:12 (it helpfully gives a list of all their traits, unless it's not their sexuality).
Who are these people, anyways?
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Plot (the long and short of it; the Medium, too)[edit | edit source]
Oh dear. I was putting this off. Please wait a moment while I visit Wikipedia.
Right, I'm back.
Homestuck begins when thirteen-year-old John Egbert receives a beta copy of an upcoming computer game called "Juman-sims"(often shortened as "Sburb") in the mail. Installing and running the game on his computer triggers a meteor attack on his real-life house, which he survives by using in-game objects to get teleported to another planet in a dimension called the "Incipi-something", thus immersing him completely within the real form of Sburb (Also confirming that he's not even stuck in home). As John's friends Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley join the game with him, they learn that they have unwittingly triggered the end of the world and that it is their duty to play the game, with the advice of a few internet trolls who turn out to actually be a naturally bisexual race of aliens, and thereby see the story through to its completion. This arc concludes with the revelation that Jack Black became an evil tentacled jester-angel-dog thingy and blew up the moon using spaghetti, and the story quickly grows darker as our heroes have no choice but to
Side projects and spin-offs[edit | edit source]
Hussie sells a significant amount of merchandise (like character T-shirts) to allow the comic's fans to better play out their twisted fantasies. Sales have been increasing of late (see right).
Vidya Kickstarter[edit | edit source]
“ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO HUSS”
On September 4, 2012, Andrew Hussie announced a Kickstarter to raise funds for a Homestuck video game. Hussie's goal was to raise $2,485,506, an amount widely believed to be both extremely ambitious and oddly arbitrary. On the last day of the campaign, with fewer than a thousand dollars raised and the Kickstarter's message board filled with derogatory slander about “grey paint smearing freaks,” Hussie dipped into Ryan North's (of Dinosaur Comics fame) savings because the two had previously swapped their credit cards. Thus, the Kickstarter was successfully funded, and North's credit rating is now lower than Greece’s.
After the result video game came out in 2017, it gained a mixed reception. Or whatever the fuck it is.
The Epilogues[edit | edit source]
After bedazzling the entire world with his massive whatever the fuck it is epic and ending it with a few loose ends, Andrew decided to give into the voices in his head and headed off to the dark carnival, selling the keys to the franchise to Viz Media and throwing a few boondollars at two chronically instable fanfiction writers. The couple of writers that no one cared about beforehand created the most subversive piece of media in the franchise yet, a canon extension of the franchise in a physical book! With two different options on both sides of the book, now you can watch as the whole story shits degeneracy and deviance out of its ass! (Jade Harley now has a dog's cock thanks to Toblerone logic)
Homestuck: Beyond Canon[edit | edit source]
After destroying the franchise and general creator apathy, some well intentioned fans decided to continue where the epilogues left off and try to create a new Homestuck with more insidiously pathetic storylines and crappier logic. This new webcomic was planned have less content and features the the original webcomic, choosing to forgo quality animation, music, and mega pauses to instead upload a chapter every month, featuring art panels that look like they've been taken out of someone's Tumblr blog and the traditional long chatlogs filled with post epilogue exposition.
Homestuck: Beyond Canon's very short career started imploding after a game of Russian roulette and a long gambling session. After which, WhatPumpkin started putting out Patreon only updates. After that, WhatPumpkin got shut down and no more updates were applied to Homestuck^2. Homestuck^2 is getting a few updates so far, eventually beginning to reach a point where a specific Toblerone wish involving John Egbert would come true.
See also[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Notable examples include xkcd, Penny Arcade and the infamous Ctrl-Alt-Del.