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I was sitting in my living room very late at night, watching the Friday the 13th franchise. Something felt off, though. I don't mean in the way some horror movies might make you uneasy; something felt really, really wrong. That's when I heard it. KI KI KI MA MA MA I immediately got up and looked out the window. That's when I saw the bastard. Jason Voorhees. Standing underneath a streetlight. No weapon. No credit card. No signup. No bullshit. He's not here to kill me; he's here to lay a goddamn beatdown, no two ways about it. I'll be damned if I let that happen. Me and him were staring at each other for about ten seconds before he started walking towards my house. Time to face the music. (Full article...) Recently featured: My Brawl with Jason Voorhees on Halloween 1983 Video essay Charlie Kirk Cyberbullying Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago HowTo:Make Black Metal, featured on 31 October 2024: Featured version Did you know... ... that the Southern United States is well-known for its "Southern Hospitality"? (Pictured) ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that sheep shrink when it rains? ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay? ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it? ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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