User:Jishanpeter/Main Page

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Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Deinonychus Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Troodon Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus Brachiosaurus

Holmium schlock 01.png

Let's get one thing straight, my dear Wats-onium.

(Puffs cigar).

When you're talking magnetism, you're talking about me. I've got the highest magnetic moment of ANY naturally occurring element. You could call it a magnetic personality. I pull the facts right out of the air. Things are just drawn to me. Like you, and don't deny it. It's a gift, from me to you.

(Gestures to empty seat in front of desk)

In my pure, elemental form, I'm a bright, silvery character. Soft enough to be cut with a knife, IF you can get close enough. But I don't stay pristine for long.

(Coughs).

The streets of this world, this city, the damp air, they tarnish me, give me a yellowish oxide coat.

(Coughs again).

It adds character, and everyone loves character.

(Throws down cigar and picks up pipe). (Full article...)

Did you know...

Bidet1.jpg
  • ... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?
  • ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
  • ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
  • ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
  • ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws?
  • ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
  • ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?

In the news

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Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 3 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirementBills Mafia shitting themselves after losing the division to the Patsies due to a terrible kicker

Recent deaths: Doug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions' and Indianapolis Colts' seasons • Rob ReinerBowen Yang's tenure on SNLPatrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • Pittsburgh Steelers' season • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCardDick van Dyke, eventually • 2025Stranger Things

On this day...

Cowards

December 31: Fuck, What Did I Do This Whole Fucking Year? Day

  • 2000 BC - The Ancient Sumerians are the first to observe the New Year as a way to celebrate their slowly impending deaths.
  • 1788 - The Scottish convince the world they need to sing at New Year's Eve at midnight, write a song whose lyrics are completely unpronounceable.
  • 1900 - The first glowing ball thing that drop when the year ends is invented, initially as a terrorist plot by Irish extremists.
  • 2010 - Manufacturers of those novelty glasses shaped like the number of the year start to worry.
  • 2017 - Novelty glasses makers give up and just make normal glasses with the years put on top like a bunch of fucking cowards.
  • 2025 - You think to yourself: next year's gonna be the year I get my shit together, I'm gonna lose 10 pounds, quit drinking, start opening up to people...
  • 2026 - It's a year later, and yet another year has come and gone with nothing to show for it. Maybe next year...

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Today's featured picture

Professional Potato Sack Racing
After tiring of bourgeois racing events such as MotoGP and Formula One, Valentino Rossi enters the competitive world of Potato Sack Racing

Image credit: Sonje
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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