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Dick Willie Johnson is a legendary human being, with an outrageous amount of accolades under his belt, he is the spokesperson for the universe. Born in New Orleans, Louisiana on October 31, 1895.

His first sign of greatness came when he was at the age of 4, he noticed two people strumming on a guitar, curious, Johnson walked up to the men and asked if he could play some. The men allowed him to play, and what followed was the most beautiful music that ever came from a guitar, slapping your grandma with the best fucking riff you've ever heard. After the first riff, the guitar turned into shiny gold. The men were so starstruck they had a heart attack and shortly died. Johnson took the gold guitar with him, the most recognized symbol of Johnson.

At the age of 6, Johnson invented the blues music. His first song was called: "Nice Rack (Bitch)". This song soared in popularity and is widely regarded as the greatest song ever made. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

*... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?

... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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