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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.

My dog, Buddy, is the worst. He's just terrible. Don't vote for my dog! Don't vote for this article. It shouldn't be featured on any encyclopedia. It doesn't align with our website's values. I'll explain everything... Reasons not to vote for Buddy: He's gay. He's a yeast infected cunt. He hates America. I don't make these kinds of remarks lightly. I have both edited enhanced photos and logic to back up my statements. I'm not saying any of the above things are bad. They aren't in an of themselves. It's just he is the most extreme radical version of all of these things and this article, under no circumstances should be featured because of it. (Full article...) Recently featured: Why?:You should not vote for my dog. Just DON'T! Harvey Weinstein Gouverneur Morris China Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin? ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians? ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?	In the news "Cancel Netflix? If I only could!" Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." (Pictured) Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin isn't the best idea Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE raids • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" On this day... AAAAAAAA A: AAAAAAAAA! AAA AAAA - AAA AAAAAAA AAAAA AA AAAAAAA AA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAA - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA. AAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAA. AAAA - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA, A AAAAAAA AAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA - AA. A AAAAAA AAA AAA; AAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA A AAAA AAAAAA. AAAA - AAAA AAAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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