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Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png
Somebody touch me.
RadioStarPaper.jpg

Much loved '50s, '60s and '70s entertainer Radio Star was found dead at home in Los Angeles County in 1982, aged 47. Radio Star's career had been waning for several years due to the increasing popularity of his rival, Video, and initial reports on the story suggested suicide was a likely cause. However, in a dramatic turn of events, the police announced they were treating the matter as a murder investigation, and shortly afterwards arrested Video for the crime.

Radio Star had shot to popularity in the first half of the 20th century, and was a popular fixture on the wireless back in '52. Young people would lie awake intent at tuning in to him, and nothing stopped him coming through. The future was bright for Radio Star, and nothing seemed to stop his inexorable rise. Aided in his early career by the fact that there was nothing worth watching on TV, he monopolized the airwaves in a fashion not seen before or since (notable efforts by the ubiquitous Oprah Winfrey notwithstanding).

In the '60s and '70s, he had to contend with a new rival – TV Star, whose hot new gimmicks included "visibility", "motion", and hippy chicks grooving along to the music. Unfortunately for TV Star though, his gimmicks at this time didn't include "endless playback of popular songs", meaning his exposure was limited, and Radio Star was able to survive this initial onslaught. However, it turned out that TV Star was just a forerunner of the much greater threat around the corner, a threat that was instigated by those fiendish international masterminds: Freddie Mercury and Queen. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Did you know...

14052009.jpg
  • ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
  • ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
  • ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that the police are at your door?
150x150 BETbooty.gif
  • ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
  • ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
  • ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
  • ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
  • ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
14052009.jpg
  • ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
  • ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
  • ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that the police are at your door?
150x150 BETbooty.gif
  • ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
  • ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
  • ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
  • ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
  • ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
14052009.jpg
  • ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
  • ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
  • ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that the police are at your door?
150x150 BETbooty.gif
  • ... that BET is dedicated to bringing quality entertainment to the masses? (Pictured)
  • ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
  • ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
  • ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
  • ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
14052009.jpg
  • ... that the man on the left is late for an important meeting with an international Terrorist and the man on the right is indignant at the increased cost of accessing Internet porn? (Pictured)
  • ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
  • ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
  • ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
  • ... that Godot isn't coming?
  • ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?
  • ... that the police are at your door?

In the news

Norris4.jpg
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four

Recent deaths: Robert MuellerTransgender self-identity in India • Mr. StricklandC.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus

Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • SoraTiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP

On this day...

Taaaaaaaaaaaax.... cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuts...

April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq)

Featured picture

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The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it.

Image credit: Serge Billault
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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