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Burj Khalifa Imagine a big tower. A really really   really big tower that has little towers growing out of it Just the size of... the size of God's feet. How on Earth can you compete with that?   It just doesn't make sense, man!!! (Full article...) Recently featured: You Are In Debt Tesco Aragorn Donald Duck Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?	In the news Those poor bastards. North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island (Pictured) Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard On this day... December 11: FIVE BIG BOOM DAY! (Worldwide), Try Communism Day (Lancashire, U.K.) 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city. 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense. 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945. 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all. 1983 - An AirChina plane goes Boom over the South China Sea; only the air hostess survives, on account of her pillowy breasts doubling as a life jacket. 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen on frozen pizza. 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the world leaders. 2009 - Annual "Try Communism Day" is celebrated by the people of Lancashire, sadly they all starve to death.
Featured picture Jo(h)n is far from able to grasp the grim reality. Image credit: OPOSSUM, Alula, DaniPine3, L10nM4st3r, as well as YouTube’s PilotRedSun, whose video inspired this image. View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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