Witch King
The Witch King was a powerful, power-hungry, powered-up boss level baddie that was beaten by a girl. He was a sorcerer who obtained a ring of power from Darth Vader and got every medal and trophy whenever there was a dance contest. This creepy ancient borefest was the epitome of evil. He would do evil things just for the sake of being evil. There was no rhyme or reason to his actions, he just did insanely evil things. He was outrageous. He was out-of-control. He had an impressive list of accomplishments. If you consider murder, genocide, hostile takeovers of not only banks, but river banks and entire rivers, and hostages for fodder and food, then yes, he was quite impressive.
Also known as the Witch-king of Angmar, and the Captain of the Black Riders, and the Lord of the Nazgûl, and the Chieftain of the Ringwraiths, and King of Minas Morgul, Lord of Morgul, Black Captain, Black Face, No Face, Menacing Monstrosity, and Dimwitted-Lamefuk as Éowyn called him. Really fuck this guy. Total dead guy, being all gross and stuff. This is the one who gathered the other Ringwraiths and set them on a course to Nowhere and dredged up the Dead. This is the one your mom warned you about. The ghoul, the shadow in the night and was said to be influenced by the Night of the Living Dead.
There were no redeeming qualities to this once-human form who was believed to be of the Númenórean race. But it was also rumored that he was from the future, and beamed down from a stolen ship, possibly belonging to a Klingon captain. Having no face meant he didn't have to worry about disguises. Or looks. Or rashes from rotting flesh. Something even Beetlejuice would envy. The Witch-king had many titles, but no one knew his real name. There was one person who called him Bob once. Nothing further was tracked down and recorded Númenórean lore was hard to pull up from the bottom of the sea with a tow truck.
How It Started[edit | edit source]
For the sake of the article, we'll just call the Witch-king "Bob" as that will save time and not confuse him with the other Ringwraiths because it's a group of them. Like the Seven Deadly Sins, the 7 Dwarfs, the 13 Dwarfs, the Seven Samurai, and so on. And nobody is going to remember all those names. So "Bob" it is. Bob was a Wizard, a sorcerer who was part of eight other men who were given rings of power by Sauron which were immediately gobbled up and swallowed.
Bob started off as a Nazgûl leader, and ran amok. He was scary and menacing and a bit mysterious. When Mordor fell, and his master lost his bling, Bob and the rest vanished into dark shadows and were not heard of again for a long time. Depending on who you ask. But Sauron somehow wouldn't stay the fuck down. So he came sniffing around Mount Asshat and some time later, Bob reappeared with his comrades and he went north and glommed onto a patch of land that he called Angmar.
It was original enough to not sound too much like Narnia. But it was basically Narnia with Disney touches here and there. Think the lost woods, the briar patches, the rabbit hole and Switzerland.
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How It Went[edit | edit source]
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