User:MrN9000/G1

This is Jaimy Vandien calling you a N00b. Yes, this person has EARNED the right to call you a that. Be humbled in his presence.!

The Beginner's Guide to Being an Uncyclopedian: Overview - Loads links here Must keep

Well Blimey, Welcome to the Uncyclopedia

Thanks for bothering to read the Beginner's Guide! I'm guessing that your reading this page for one of two reasons:

• Hopefully you stumbled upon our main page and decided that before making your contribution it might be best to read this. If so, great! You're already well on the way to becoming very popular around here.
• You may also have been sent here by someone whingeing at you somewhere because you did not bother to read this earlier. If so, shame on you!

Why should I keep reading? This is Very Boring...

OK. This guide is one of the few parts of Uncyclopedia written in a serious semi-serious style. Unlike the rest of Uncyclopedia, the purpose of the beginners guide is not to make you laugh, but to let you know some things that will make your stay in 'Uncyc' more enjoyable.

If you can't be bothered to read this, and really just want to cause trouble please go to [1] where I promise you will have a lot more fun.

Throughout this guide, links to other pages will give more in-depth descriptions of the issues being discussed. Obviously if you follow every link you will learn more, but also might fall asleep before getting to the end. Maybe follow a few links which look particularly useful, and come back and finish when you're ready...

Just for you info, this is the main help page of Uncyc and this shows all our 'Ignorable policies'. Note that the Ignorable bit is a joke that we put on all our help pages.

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Purpose - Not much links here

Purpose: What the Deuce Is an "Uncyclopedia"?

So What the Hell is it?

Although I hate to admit it, those guys over at Wikipedia have a rather good description (in a 'more serious' tone) here. (Well actually most of that was written by Uncyc users) If you don't fancy reading the Wikipedia page (who could blame you), basically Uncyclopedia is a humors/humours parody of Wikipedia. If you don't know what Wikipedia is you stoneaged dinosaur! have a look at the site.

This page goes into more detail about what Uncyc is. This page is also well worth looking at, as is this.

Like Wikipedia, Uncyclopedia is a Wiki. That means that anyone, especially you can edit most of the pages it contains, and perhaps even add a new article. The purpose of Wikipedia is to allow the Wikimedia Foundation to control the world present facts whereas the purpose of Uncyclopedia is to be funny.

How To Be funny and not just stupid is a great guide to what we like around here. Make many people laugh with what you do you will be very welcome. Unfortunately, sometimes people get the idea that this is not a 'serious' website and that anything goes here. That's definitely not the case, we pride ourselves in humour that can be understood and appreciated by many people. Jokes that will be understood only by you or a very small number of people (such as your friends) will not be popular. We are not here to host your blog, or provide a place to attack people.

As we are a parody of Wikipedia most of the articles here are about something or someone that is well known to the rest of the world. If the NAZI's guys at Wikipedia and Google don't know about it, we probably don't want to either. Though there are some exceptions. A good explanation of this policy can be found here.

OK rant over. You get the message... We are a joke website, but we do take our humour seriously.

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Not links here, don't need this

Are You Serious?

Upon first coming here, some people have the impression that this is not a "serious" website. Their brains then take them on a magical journey which leads them to think that anything goes here. This is simply not the case. We pride ourselves in humor that can be understood and appreciated by most people, or at least a very large number of people. Jokes that only you or your friends understand are not acceptable content for the Uncyclopedia. We do take this site seriously as a parody, if you can wrap your head around that.

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Not much

On Good Writing: Writing Advice

This section gives writing advice. (Duh.) These pages are relevant to writing well, and making your page look as sexy as possible.

• Help:HowTo: contains formatting information, like how to make things '''bold''', ''italic'', or add :indents to the beginning of lines.
• Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid(HTBFANJS): as its name implies, contains advice on how to be funny, and not just stupid.
• Uncyclopedia:Flamewar Guidelines: You can flamewar here, but not the way you think. How to flame constructively.

These pages are valuable to writing well and increasing the lifespan of your writing exponentially. What follows is an overview and tips on how to use the information in these pages effectively.

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Creating articles- not much

Creating Articles

: How do I make a subpage of my user page?

A: Simple. Just go to your user page, and type a forward slash at the end of the address. Anything you type after that will be the title of your subpage. Go to that page and get to work. Alternatively, you could type User:<username>/<subpage> in the search bar to the left, where <username> is your username and <subpage> is the name of the subpage you want to make.

Uncyclopedia is a wiki, which means that anyone can add content to the site, anytime, anywhere, confident in the knowledge that it'll likely get deleted within the hour. If you think you have a really funny idea for an article (even though you probably don't), you can add the article to Uncyclopedia via this easy step-by-step process:

• Type your article's title into the "Search" box on the left side of the page, and click "Go".
• If your chosen title already exists in Uncyclopedia, consider contributing to that article instead of creating your own. Otherwise, try a new title in the Search box.
• On the search results page, there should be a red link at the top (Results 1-X on Uncyclopedia for: blank). Click that link to create your page.
• See the following sections for information on how to format your article properly.
• If you create a short page that you intend to expand later, add a {{construction}} (under construction) or {{WIP|~~~~~}} (work in progress) tag to it. This should keep admins and other users from moving or deleting the page without your consent.

Please note that Uncyclopedia is not Undictionary. Well, it sort of is, since they're both part of the same website, but then it sort of isn't. Here's the rundown:

Uncyclopedia is for full-featured articles. These can be long or shorter than long, but not short short. They typically have several sections and an image or four.

Undictionary is for short entries. They are generally only one or two or three sentences and are usually humorous definitions rather than detailed articles.

If you prefer to create Undictionary articles, fine; just make sure you read the directions on the Undictionary page. Basically, instead of starting a page, go to the page named "Undictionary:" followed by the first letter (such as Undictionary:K) and add your new definition as a section in the existing page, in alphabetical order. There are more directions on the Undictionary page, but these will get you started.

For some unofficial, but useful, advice on how to develop ideas on uncyclopedia without having to worry about your work in progress being deleted, check out How To Get Started Editing Uncyclopedia.

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Time=Funny

Time=Funny - No much Spend some time on the articles you write. One liners may garner a laugh, but an entire article could be comedy gold. Think about your article. Could it be improved? Can you extend the joke without beating it to death? Do subtle masturbation or erectile dysfunction references make you understand this point better?

Usually, the more time you take to develop a full-bodied article, the better it will be. Take the time to write out and expand your idea. Use the stub template, {{stub}}, if you can't give it the oomph it needs to be finished.

If you need to come back, add the {{construction}} tag, if you don't want it to be touched for a while.

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---

On Formatting Well

On Formatting Well - Not much Your material won't be worth a thing if it's not parsed or organized in a way that doesn't cause people to faint, erupt into seizures, or make their eyes fall out, and run far, far away.

A couple of things to keep in mind:

• Parsing is important. You need to add only ONE line between each separate paragraphs to create a break, like so:

I am a long passage of clever prose.

I am a witty line to garner a laugh before another passage of witty prose.

I am another long passage of witty prose.

Making it appear like this:

I am a long passage of clever prose.
I am a witty line to garner a laugh before another passage of witty prose.
I am another long passage of witty prose.

• Make It Look Nice. Subdivisions using "=" are useful in separating different sections. Make use of them appropriately. When using a tertiary subdivision "===Title===", it often helps to use a bullet ("*Text Here") or an indent (":Text Here") in the following line. Unless intentional, large spans of empty space are distracting and do nothing to help your article.

• Link to it, link from it. Links are like the veins and arteries of a wiki. If you don't have enough links to and from your article, it dies from lack of oxygen. If your article has too many links, it dies from youcan'tbeallveinsitis. Be sensible. This also means you have to read a lot of Uncyclopedia to see what other pages you can link to. You don't have to read all of it - generally the best practice is to just skim and follow links. If you find a hole where an article should be, edit some of the pages you have read, and link words in those pages to the article you are writing. Make sure to link words in your article to other pages. However, you only need a link or two per paragraph. Don't overdo it.

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Speeling and GRAMMOR

Speeling and GRAMMOR - Not much

• How to get started editing on Uncyclopedia*

Complete nonsense, or horrendous grammar and spelling, while applicable in certain situations, is not funny for most entries. Make sure it makes sense and is in the grammar and language proper for the article. Often, (as alluded to in Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid) an official tone can take your article to new heights. Grammar and spelling are as important as the content you're adding. If you have trouble with your spelling or grammar, you can always leave a note on an administrator's talk page asking them to proof read your article, and they'll probably laugh at you be happy to check it for you, or will pass it on to someone who will.

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Make Sense

Make Sense - not much Nonsense is funny, but only sometimes. Drawing from random sources for your articles can be a good way to draw links to other pages, garnering attention to yours. However, these links should make sense. Stating the exact opposite of truth or pure nonsense is usually not humorous. Creatively blurring the line between fact and fiction, creating a witty or unique "saga" or adding creatively to an existing storyline are good ways to expand the Uncyclopedia. Using overdone devices, including crass tastelessness, clichés, or gibberish (unless applicable) give the admins work to do, and will likely result in a block.

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Don't State the Obvious

Don't State the Obvious - Not much Blunt sarcasm rarely gets the laughs that subtle language and creative, crafty allusions do. While Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Lewis Black, and numerous other political/deadpan comedians make us laugh by being sarcastic, there is more to it than just sarcasm. It is witty observation, combined with delivery. A written delivery cannot be varied to the degree that a stand-up comedian can vary theirs. Vocal delivery includes body language and tone, as well as facial expressions and atmosphere. Lewis Black is funny because he spazzes out. The closest you can get to spazzing out on a computer is by TYPING IN CAPS, or by EMPHASIZING words with various forms of TEXT FORMATTING. These are hardly impressive.

• Case in point, "Jonathan Swift v. Unfunny Blowhard":

"I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is in the present deplorable state of the kingdom a very great additional grievance...

I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food..." (Taken from Swift's "A Modest Proposal")

This is far more clever, subtle, and humorous than:

"Ireland is overcrowded! Look at it, there's people everywhere! God forbid our government do something about it! I mean, who would want a GOVERNMENT that actually takes responsibility for its people? Let's eat children instead! Some American dumbass told me they make for good stew! IT'S THE PERFECT SOLUTION!"

In essence, written humor is not "Whack-a-mole;" it is more like Tetris. Calculated subtlety and cleverness gets you the high score in Tetris; mashing the "drop" key makes you lose, while the people around you point and laugh. Force is not at the heart of written comedy.

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Civlilty - Loads a links Civility on Uncyclopedia is maintained through strict desocialization, re-education and obedience programs, and reinforced with two primary rules:

1. Treat others the way you would want to be treated.

Behind every Uncyclopedia username and IP is a person or intelligent monkey. With edits, assume that they were in good faith, except in obvious situations where a person is a blatant vandal, spammer, or dick (see below). Everybody has a different sense of humor. Insulting or having a generally belligerent attitude towards users who you may disagree with is nonconstructive and likely to create unnecessary flamewars, so it is recommended that you maintain a consistent level of civility with other users to create a more friendly and accepting community on Uncyclopedia.

2. Don't be a dick.

Adopted from Wikimedia, this one is on the basis of common sense in social settings. Behavior that would label you as a "dick" should be fairly obvious. The best way to know if your behavior is unacceptable and that of a "dick" is if somebody calls you a dick, or you appear to be blocked for being a dick. In both of the instances, it would be suggested that you correct your behavior (as in, do the opposite of what you were doing before). Additionally, vandals, spammers, blankers, and those who repeatedly violate the rules of Uncyclopedia are all dicks. Don't be one.

See Also

• Uncyclopedia:Rules
• Ban Policy
• List of administrators
• Uncyclopedia:Be italic in updating pages

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Uncyclopedia:No cyberbullying

No cyberbullying - Loads of links

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

Cyberbullying will not be tolerated. Before we go any further, we should probably state what cyberbullying is and isn't. So here are the basics of cyberbullying, "Cyberbullying 101" if you want to be cliche and pretend that the internet is some sort of prestigious university.

Cyberbullying is...

• Creating articles that maliciously attack people you know, and that no one else knows.
• Threatening people over the internet..
• Threatening or verbally abusing anyone on Uncyclopedia, or creating articles insulting someone and/or giving away someone's personal information. For the most part, cyberbullies target people they know in real life, who may not even use Uncyclopedia. It doesn't really matter either way.

Cyberbullying is not...

• Clever, witty, humorous, or funny. It's that simple. Most All cyberbullying violates numerous rules on Uncyclopedia: the no-cyberbullying rule, the it-has-to-be-funny rule, and the don't be a dick rule, and many more!
• 1337. You are not 1337 nor is your cyberbullying. You are not a 1337 h4x0r because you can create a page on Uncyclopedia; that is a privilege everyone has. Additionally, "privilege" does not equal "right".
• Allowed. This may seem obvious as the whole page is about how cyberbullying isn't allowed, but for the most part the cyberbulliers themselves aren't the brightest bunch and they may need this reiterated.

Why?

Now that cyberbullying has been defined for you, you may wonder why it is such a big deal. For starters, Uncyclopedia is a website, a humor website to be exact. Unlike a lot of humorous websites, however, Uncyclopedia is a wiki and allows everyone to participate in building its (hopefully) humorous encyclopedia of unknowledge. The goal of the site is to be funny. Plenty of people first come to Uncyclopedia not knowing their way around and they may learn by trial and error what is funny, and by participation. This is acceptable; everyone is a newbie at some point (some never stop). However, cyberbullies don't care about the humorous aspect of the site. They see Uncyclopedia as a free wall for them to spraypaint their offensive vandalism. A mural is nice. Random insults on a wall aren't.

Another problem with cyberbullying is due to the excess cyberbullying on our site: Uncyclopedia is being labeled in some places as a promoter of cyberbullying. This could not be further from the truth (to the press reading this, take note). We do not tolerate cyberbullying and vandalism and our admins do the best job they can to keep Uncyclopedia free of this. If we missed something, there are many ways a user can contact us to tell us of our mistake. We do not condone cyberbullying.

Finally the most obvious problem with cyberbullying is that it is bullying. Ignore the cyber prefix. Bullying is bad. People may say, "well it's over the internet so how bad can it be?" No. Bullying is bad. If someone makes a page on Uncyclopedia that violently insults a kid they know and gives aways the kid's personal information, it's bad.

In summary, cyberbullying is unacceptable and not tolerated, because it's cruel, stupid, and unfunny.

So if you aren't planning to be a cyberbully, congratulations! You've made it through one hoop, at least, in our requirements!

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Redirecting Done Right - Not much

Redirects are good ways to disambiguate the existence of pages, and prevent multiple entries for the same entity from being created. However, please redirect with great discretion. Certain iterations are adequate for this purpose. Consider the following:

Original Article: Flying Spaghetti Monster

Suitable Redirects: These Redirects are useful for quick access to long titles, and to prevent ambiguities and the creation of pages with minor difference between titles (i.e. Caps, etc.) This serves to keep people from making errors and causing conflicts between pages.

Examples: "FSM," "flying spaghetti monster"

Unnecessary Redirects: These redirects, while potentially useful, are better formatted in another way, as the addition of another page clutters up the Uncyc. If an article is already properly capitalized (First word caps, others lowercase, e.g. "Left-handed monkey") there is no need to generate a fully captialized version, nor is there a need to generate every iteration of a capitalization.

Examples: "His Noodlyness," "The Flying Spaghetti Monster," "Flying Spaghetti monster," "Flying spaghetti Monster, Any Frivolous Pluralization (i.e., "Clintons"), or prefix/suffix addition (i.e., "Cloned").

Stupid Redirects: These redirects are typically sad attempts at humor, and often do nothing but clutter the Uncyc and add little or no significant humor value.

Examples: "Floating Fusilli Beast," "Alexander Hamilton," Jimmy (i.e. The kid next door)

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Circumventing redirects: How to Edit Link Text

How to Edit Link Text - Not much

There are two primary ways to change link text such that it will lead to the article you want it to get to without having to generate a redirect page.

• Simple Changes: These are done when you want to add letters to the beginning or end of a link, including pluralizations and tense changes.

• Example: A link to the South Korea article for the words "South Koreans" can be obtained as follows:

[[South Korea]]ns

• Example: A link to the Kitten article for the word "Kittens" can be obtained as follows:

[[Kitten]]s

• Complex changes Manual changes of link text to articles must be done as follows:

[[Article name|Link text here]]

• Example: So making a link to The Fonz appear as "Fonzes" is achieved by typing:

[[The Fonz|Fonzes]]

Simply put, be practical when redirecting pages. If you can make a link manually, it's often better than making an unnecessary redirect page.

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Stuff that may be destroyed without warning - Not much

Hey, that kid in your computing class is pretty faggy, huh? Look at him with his stupid emo combover and his plastic anorak. What a dork! Hey, I know: Why not write an Uncyclopedia article about how lame he is (and maybe mention his predilection for sex with his mom while you're at it)?
Because it will get destroyed on sight. The same goes for pages about how k3wl you and your friends are, adverts for your web page, guestbook, Unreal Tournament clan, gay nazi fetishists' club, trout appreciation society, prison, oil rig, porn dungeon, auto parts store or drive-thru McDonalds. If it's been deleted and you recreate it, I think you can guess what'll happen next.
When in doubt, consult our vanity policies.

Likewise, if you think an article is the worst piece of crap you've ever read in your life, don't just remove the content. It may well be worthy of death, but killing is our business. If it's a stupid one-or-two liner, report it to QVFD. Anything longer should go in Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion.

Mistakes can happen though as our admins are generally incompetent only human. If that's the case, see below.

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Administrators on Uncyclopedia - loads

For the most part, the administrators here are friendly and will help you out if you ask nicely. Administrators, commonly abbreviated as admins and also called sysops (system operators), are the elite Uncyclopedia editors who have access to technical features that help with maintenance such as banning users and deleting articles that fail any of the parameters of HTBFANJS.

If your article is deleted

If this happens, do not freak out, call your attorney, file lawsuits, create a militia, and start calling the admin names. Instead, take the following steps:

1. Breathe. Oxygen...good! Fire...bad!
2. Search the Deletion Log. (Hint - put the name of the deleted page in the "Title" field and hit "Submit Query".) See who deleted your page and read why. VFD means it was voted to be deleted.
3. Contact the admin by posting a nice, calm message on their talk page. If he or she has not already indicated a reason for the deletion/removal, request one.
4. Wait for the admin to reply. We know it's hard. Try hitting the Random Page link to the far left a bunch of times. They aren't all nuclear powered robots, so give the admin a day or two.
5. Read the reply. If it's wholly unreasonable, you may proceed to The Village Dump or the Complaints Department, where you may take it up with a larger group.

If the admin thinks you gave a good enough reason, he or she will most likely restore your work. In this case, continue at leisure. Please understand that if a page looks like it's bad, some admins prefer to destroy on sight due to war trauma or excessive blunt head trauma.

If the admin does not respond, do not feel free to retroactively restore your work. He or she may have had something to take care of. This is tantamount to doing a really big no-no. If days pass without a response, consult another admin.

Admin rights, privileges, and responsibilities

Administrators are entitled to a certain degree of rights, privileges, and responsibilities which exceed those of normal users. Sometimes, non-admin users may feel that administrators are abusing their powers.

• Administrators have the right to ban users for any offense outside of the scope of Uncyclopedia's rules and/or within them. Because the rules of Uncyclopedia don't cover all unwanted behavior, administrators will sometimes have to use their own judgment. See here for a list of offenses that may warrant a ban.

• Despite popular belief, administrators are not infallible. Administrators make mistakes. Users have the right to question the decisions of administrators, and administrators have the right to ban users for questioning their authority.

• Administrators are vital to the maintaining of Uncyclopedia and its quality. Users are, however, equally important in their own way. Without administrators, Uncyclopedia would erupt into anarchy and users would die off. Without users, administrators would have nobody to ban. Because of this cycle of reliability, users and administrators should respect one another and be civil.

• Administrators should not (usually) unban users who they did not ban. Sometimes a user will be banned, then plead their case in the IRC to another administrator, who will then unban them. This can cause resentment between admins, or even a "wheel war". If at all possible, users should discuss matters with the administrator who banned them.

• Administrators have the right to joke-ban. For those who don't know, a joke-ban is a ban that is a joke, and not the result of a user having violated the rules. Joke bans are usually a matter of minutes rather than days or weeks. They are not a big deal.

• Administrators should make no decision without reasonable justification. This justification might be shown on a talk page or edit/ban summary, or you might have to ask them for it.

• Administrators are not above the rules, even though they enforce them. Though there are probably no administrators who believe they are (as they wouldn't be an administrator in the first place if they did), it's still worth mentioning.

See also

• User:Famine/Why
• List of admins

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Communication -Loads

Communication on Uncyclopedia is vital. Most of the problems between users stem from misunderstandings or a lack of communication. Consider these tips when posting:

How To Contact Others

Please communicate with users through talk pages, the chatroom, or with the entire community through the Uncyclopedia:Village Dump. Spamming crap on the Village Dump will get you into trouble, so make it count. If there's a technical problem with the website use Uncyclopedia:Report a problem.

When finishing articles

Worried that an admin might nuke your page? Let us know in the edit summary or leave a construction template on it. Need someone else to help you? Let us know on the talk page by adding the {{help}} template, or start a topic in the Village Dump. Communicating with the admins and other users as to your intentions will let us know that you're not an Evil IP of Doom (i.e. blanking, spamming, crap, and/or other vandalism). These comments will appear in Special:Recentchanges; pay attention to this page too, as admin comments will often appear here. If you don't tell us anything, don't be upset if we destroy a page because it only has a few lines.

Note that communication will only get you so far. If you tell us you're gonna finish an article, do it sometime soon.

Tag your trash with QVFD

In a moment of brilliance, you may have conceived of what could be "The Best Article Ever", only to find that after the first paragraph, you're running on vapor and the engine is starting to sputter. List it on QVFD and let us know that it needs to go down in a blaze of glory, rather than blank it. It sets off alarms that hurt our delicate, juicy admin brains.

Don't take ICU tags personally

Admins are the frontline for quality assurance. If it is immediately obvious to users that an article is of significantly low quality, they will add an Intensive Care Unit (ICU) tag, indicating that "as it currently stands, the article is not good enough to be kept and requires improvement". It is not a political statement on the part of the user, nor is it an insult to you or your kin. It simply means that the article warrants significant improvement.

Note: Do not take the liberty to remove this tag without adding a noticeable amount of material to an article. Repeatedly doing so is grounds for a block. For more information, see Uncyclopedia:Intensive Care Unit.

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Disagreements - Not much

Edit wars, revert wars, flamewars, and general rampant insults are strongly discouraged. Nobody likes drama or being insulted. Hostile disagreements should not erupt so long as users abide by our policies on consensus, civility, and employ common sense.

When disagreements present themselves, it's best to be open, calm about the situation, and listen, even if the other user is acting like a total jackass. If nothing seems to work, contact an administrator on the issue or note it at our Complaints Department. You should not resort to personal attacks or other unacceptable behavior (such as blanking their userpage) when disagreements arise.

When an administrator intervenes, keep in mind that what the administrator(s) say or do about the situation is final. Hopefully, flamewars are resolved with compromise and administrators employ neutrality in the situation. However, this doesn't always happen. If it doesn't, and you don't get your way, don't make a fuss about it. Move on.

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Don't Give the Admins Lip - Not much

While you may be a brilliant writer, having contributed several cleanly written articles, your contributions do not excuse your conduct. If you have beef with an admin (i.e. the deletion of your tasty new page, or rollback of freshly grated additions), take it up with the admin on his or her talk page, through the chat, or in the Uncyclopedia:Village Dump. Do not use Edit Summaries to editorialize, or create pages solely for the purpose of flaming an admin. Bear the following in mind when grilling an administrator:

• Do not editorialize on how this site should be run, nor how much of a failure an admin is. Personal attacks and irrelevant criticism are not appropriate.

• Most of our admins are silly, don't be offended if they're less than formal with you.

• Don't make it political. We don't want to mince words with you about how much you hate Liberals/Conservatives/Terri Schiavo/Kittens. If the admin you're dealing with happens to hold a certain philosophy, don't go about making a spectacle of it. It's irrelevant and may result in two year bans.

• Don't beg/whine/offer your family (exception for last in cases of extreme gratitude). If an admin says "No", it means no. This behavior does absolutely nothing to garner sympathy, and serves only to irritate the admin you're addressing. Honest sincerity is your best policy.

• Most importantly, posting is a privilege, not a right.

• Lastly, and truly most importantly:

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Do Give the Admins Pie - Not much

We like it. Offerings of buttered toast or Stormtroopers will suffice, as they power the site make delighful pie toppings.

That's (almost) it!

Conclusion and Graduation - Not much

ask an Administrator, chat with users on the IRC, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!

When all else fails, consult HTBFANJS, Be Italic, and common sense. Talk to us. Talk to others. Thank you for reading this. Best wishes and happy lie-mongering.

Course complete. Please proceed to Registration

• When you are finished, you are welcome to take your complimentary Potato, Sample Kitten and Beginner's Course Qualification Badge

(Feel free to show this badge off by adding "{{MOOU}}" to your User page.)

Registrant entered. Welcome to the Uncyclopedia. Please enjoy your stay.

Note: Uncyclopedia is not what the other article that says what it is not says it isn't.

Uncyclopedia is, simply put, a wiki dedicated to satire and other forms of humor through parodying Wikipedia and other encyclopedias, often with inaccurate, distorted, or blatantly false information.

• Uncyclopedia is not Wikipedia. We are nothing like Wikipedia. Some may argue that we are the "opposite" of Wikipedia. Uncyclopedia has an entirely different agenda from Wikipedia, one which aims for humor. Aside from this, one of the biggest contrasts between Uncyclopedia and Wikipedia is that Uncyclopedia is looser when it comes to rules, unlike the tight virgins at Wikipedia.

• Uncyclopedia is not a blog, social networking site, dating site, or image hosting site. We're not interested in hooking users up, hosting your images or blog(s), or creating friendships. Even though this is commonly stressed, sometimes it still happens unintentionally. We do however emphasize on creating a user-friendly atmosphere and promoting civility among users. This too is stressed, but it doesn't always happen.

• Uncyclopedia is not professional. We do not consider ourselves to be professionals when it comes to satire (UnNews is not The Onion). We do not pay users (with the exception of the Poo Lit Surprise competition prizes) to contribute, and we will never ask you for money. If you really want to pay someone in return for your enjoyment, please donate to any of these wonderful charities.

• Uncyclopedia is not a soapbox and is not meant to be persuasive. We're not here to make a point. We don't support any political parties or causes. Uncyclopedia employs a satirical point of view (or SPOV). Additionally, any opinion expressed on Uncyclopedia by a user is not endorsed by the community, with the notable exception that the world is a better place because of the existence of pie.

• Uncyclopedia is not a totalitarian regime with weapons of mass destruction. Our administrators are not infallible, and in a majority of cases you are urged to employ common sense and your own morality over Uncyclopedia guidelines (which are also not indefinite, though many rules on Uncyclopedia are basic common sense). Also, we do not have weapons of mass destruction yet.

• Uncyclopedia is not a bureaucracy. Rules on Uncyclopedia exist to maintain some order and stability. Some argue that the presence of rules on a website which is dedicated to humor is "bureaucratic" or "Wikipedia-like". These people are asshats and should be ostracized from the Uncyclopedia community based on sub-section 12 in paragraph 9 of chapter 42 in the "Uncyclopedia Rules & Procedures For Ostracizing Infidels".

• Uncyclopedia is not censored. Because of this, Uncyclopedia may contain content that some readers consider objectionable or offensive. Obviously, there are exceptions to this. Pornographic and shock images, hateful articles, and other material deemed inappropriate or unfunny will not be tolerated.