Undictionary:k

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K

Kaboom

A sound only heard on the Planet of Cartoon Escapees.

Kangaroo court

1. A kangaroo court is a court conducted by kangaroos. Originally instituted by Captain Kangaroo in 1776, it usually ends in the defendant being beaten up by the kangaroos who are specially-trained in kung fu.

2. The cry emitted by Aborigines after successfully capturing a marsupial whilst on a hunting trip.

Karaoke

Word of Japanese origin, roughly translates in English to mean "Ear Pain". There is no known cure, however earplugs and alcohol can offer some temporary relief of symptoms. When taken literally, one might object that CARA is definitely not OK.

Keg stand

An acrobatic feat in which the performer stands on his/her hands and imbibes beer straight from the tap. Not to be confused with a kick stand or a kissed hand.

Keeping up with the Jones'

A failed Lucasfilm spin-off film of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade told from the point of view of a Nazi footsoldier forced to chase Indy all over the globe.

Kenny Kuhn Klan

A klan that holds various meetings on various days in various places. They are a determined group of individuals set to rid the world of Kenny killers. Their ritualistic chants include: "Mphmmmphmmhm" and "Oh My God! They Killed Kenny! YOU BASTARD!"

Ketchdown

An antidote to ketchup.

Keyboard

A plank of wood with small hooks inserted into it to hang keys on.

Kia

A toy car made out of aluminum foil with bottle caps for wheels. Its place of manufacture: Seoul Kim Il-sung City

Kid's Bop

An evil organization designed to kidnap children as slaves, and uses tv commercials as advertisement. Who whould actually buy one of those CD's.

Kike

A less fortunate Jew.

Kill! Kill! Kill!

The battlecry of anyone whose internet connection tends to drop out at the worst possible moment, like in the middle of writing down a bri

Killer bee

A killer bee is a gathering allowing social interaction during the tedious chore of killing. A host picks the day and arranges the setting. He is also responsible for providing the victims. At the appointed time the participants gather and can take part in convivial conversation and refreshments while accomplishing the primary task at hand.

Kezzah

Awesome in a jar

Kilometer

A kilometer is a cylindical device for measuring the number of murders committed within a given 24-hour period.

The kilometer is often confused with the deathoscope, which is a device used by suicide doctors to determine if a patient is done dying yet.

Kilometre

A kilometre is equal to 53/255ths of a mile, except on Tuesdays when the mile shortens by papal decree. Kilometres are part of the metric system, a system of measurement which was invented by The Count of Sesame Street in 1904 as a feeble attempt to get everything to add up to ten. Unfortunately, it only worked far too well.

Kilt

A kilt is a silly hat, worn during ceremonial Welsh festivities. Kilts can be of any color, provided they are not plaid. This restriction was put in place by Duke Flaubert during a pheasant hunt, where his nephew was killed on accident. His nephew had worn his famous "pheasant plaid" hat and was struck dead by a spear hurled by his father, when he thought he spied a pheasant.

To this day, jokes are still made about kilts, including "What does a Welshman have under his Kilt?" The answer, of course, is his head.

Kilter

The term refers to the proper functioning of a machine, process, or organization. The term is usually used by people obliviousof its meaning, but can be understood and enjoyed as an allegory referring to the position of the penis in relationship to a kilt. Hence: in kilter or out of kilter.

Kim Jong-il

Kim Jong Il is the demonic dictator of North Korea whose power is said to stem from his hair, which is said to be imbued with magical powers. Legend has it that, if someone cuts it off, Kim will immediately be exiled back to Hell. Several barbers have died trying to accomplish this feat. He is also a world-famous Warcraft 3 player, maintaining his perfect winning streak by executing other, better players.

Kipper

A fish that is never awake. They are said to be two faced and gutless.

KISS

1. Pressing your lips to someone or something.

2. Legendary 70's band

See also Sugar, Gene Simmons, The Demon

Kiwi

Kiwi has various meanings:

1. "To be like me" God
2. Known to be tall,dark and handsome.
3. "Potatoe" in the Santa-Fe dialect.
4. "Cartoafa" in the Moldova dialect.
5. "Cartof" in the literary Romanian language.
6. "Barabula" in the Bukovina dialect.
7. "Antonio Banderas love blow-up doll" in Spanish.
8. "Sheep Fucker" in Australian.
9. An incontinent door opening device.
10. A small bird that can't be fucked flying. It's only mode of transport is by "Sheepback.
11. A kiwi cant fly but they sure can play rugby!!!
12. A fruit that taste good with sugar but may leave sores!!

Khan-Do

Fabled Chinese Emperor famous for getting stuff to happen at Xanadu . Died when he saw Olivia Newton-John in leather trousers.

Kleptomania

A sensory disorder which makes it difficult or impossible for the affected person (kleptomaniac) to distinguish between his own and other people's stuff.

Kleptophobia

Fear that you will be stolen and sold on E-Bay.

Klitty Cat

The sensitive bump on the front of a Pussy Cat.

Knight Rider

1. A great TV programme from the 1980s that featured a talking car named K.I.T.T. and a young David Hasselhoff as Michael Knight.

2. A sexual preference for knights over, say... dirty peasants.

Knights In White Satin

Dreaming of having an evening of erotic passion with a passing troop of Knights Templar .

Knuckle Scraper

Someone who applies make up to the delegates at a conference for like minded conservatives.

Kosovan

Kosovans are quiet and friendly people residing on the Greek island of Kos.

Kofi Annan

African word for coffee.

• kofi annan "May I have a cup of coffee"
• kofi annan hallay berrie "May I have a cup of coffee with cream and sugar"
• kofi annan malcom exx "May I have a cup of black coffee"

Kombi

• A transport device for the some time not so clean hippy.
• A nightmare to drive,fix or put out.

Kool-Aid

The street-name given to the fuel that powers NASA's Saturn V Rocket. When consumed by humans it is an intensely addictive over-the-counter drug, and is especially prone to abuse by pre-teenagers.

Krebs cycle

A small motorised unicycle used by biochemists to travel quickly around large university departments and research establishments. Krebs cycles are powered by a solution of the organic compound acetyl CoA. Invented by Hans "The Kritter" Krebs, probably after a few too many pints of ATP.

Kthx

The proper response to the request, pics plz. Use of it at any other time can lead one to be Banned from the Internet, or cause one to get eaten by Mr. T.

Ku Klux Klan

1. Short lived children's television show started in the early 1980's. It featured three dancing puppets (Ku, Klux & Klan) with an emphasis on fire and rabies. The show was aired on public access throughout the south, except in Tennessee.

2. Famous super team that protects America for African Americans.

Kuk

Norwegian slang for priest

Kung fu

Kung Fu is either an ancient brand of martial arts, or a really bad television show featuring Keith Carradine, take your pick. Basically, both involve inner meditation and silent reflection until you are pushed past the point of no return, resulting in a very swift ass-kicking.

Mostly used by Asian people to impress chicks. Nowadays also used by non-Asian people to impress chicks and boys.

Kwaka

1. Japanese duck.

2. Japanese person, living in the Deep South, referring to a white person.