User:Mordillo

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__NOMORDILLO__

My duvet looks like a relief map of Nepal sponsored by Rabbi Techno

For Mordildos 1.0 see here

Did you ever have the feeling that you're in the most beautiful dream and you never want to wake up?. Well you were wrong. Wake up you idiot! .

A secret agent of the Mossad. Thank you Severian for blowing up my cover!

Welcome to the Zionist Militia of Mordildos This user is a cyborg and uses bionic features to fight crime . Resistance is futile . This user is a honourific member of the UnHoly Sisterhood. He worships Sophia and so should you, <insert name here>. This user is a spoiled Mummy's little darling. Observe their cuddliness. Attention Recruits: As the new members of the Zionist militia you must keep three no FOUR things in mind: Always shoot first and ask questions later. Better still, shoot a high caliber weapon so you won't need to ask questions later. Heavy artillery is only to be used in cases of extreme need. Military style fatigues does not necessary make you look thinner. NOW THROW THY HOLY HAND GRENADE! Random Procrastinations D'arthangnan The Verdict:[1] Twenty years, no parole. Black Knight 'tis only a flesh wound Nuclear Vagueness Always a needed technique. Polish Inquisition Crucifixion's a doddle. Guilt isn't. koShare Nasty Jews try yet another technique Written with ZB My Journeys with the GPS Got lost. Got The Porchesian Holocaust let us bow our heads in shame. The Von Stauberg Institute for Extreme Cardiac Stress Tests Your health is all you got (Quasi Feature) Jewish Holidays yet another chapter in the never ending Jewish crusade against humanity. (PLS entry). Irish Road Atlas read this to avoid falling buses and oncoming rocks. Or was it the other way around? Truthful Vending GmbH Need a cup of coffee? MSN Messenger's Guide to Manners, Proper Behavior and Slapstick nudge nudge wink wink, So you thought that using the Euro as currency would be all fun and games? snobbish European money on the roll! Rashōmon - Don't read it, you'll get a migraine. No really, I'm only looking after your best interest. Kosher Nostra (with RabbiTechno) - pay your does, or you sleep with the Gefilte Fish. Gemeentevervoerbedrijf - you'll get where you're going to. Eventually. Röak Band - Teutonic Invasion - REAL MENSCH MUSIC FOR ZER MASSESS, WRITTEN MIT HERR ÜNTER ÜSER (unt TOP TEN ARTIKLES fur 2009) Jewish Cuisine (with RabbiTechno) - digestive horrors from the desk of Jewish grandmothers UnBooks:Conversations With My Father (with that damned landlubber) - Avast father! You shall walk the plank soon! Pull down yer sleeves. This is how you do things. HowTo:Play the game "Guess How Old I Am?" HowTo:Prepare Instant Jihad Got some guests coming? HowTo:Learn Hebrew a very useful language! (PLS entry) HowTo:Pronounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Know thy mad dictator HowTo:Prevent your car radio from being stolen And if I ever catch the bastards who did that to my girlfriend.... Why?Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea. Try chicken soup, much better. Absent Minded Musings Moshe Katsav All hail the benevolent leader Mobile Cod nasty, nasty fish. UnTunes:You can stand under my umbrella (you can also feel my antenna) Don't step into the umbrella children! Make Humus Not War Ah...that was a nice dream. Too bad it didn't last. Doctor Jekyll and Mister Winkler the Gay Witness the great horror that stalks the streets of London NOCAJEK someone make him stop!!! That time I was nearly raped by Feyd Rautha Harkonnen during my sojourn in Dune. What? He nearly raped me! UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver a orgy of Middle Eastern cooperation with Mahm00shA. (And top 10 of 2009, you sons of motherless goats!) ADMIN BABIES SMACK DOWN. Written in one hour for the Uncyclopedia Sudden Death Mode Tournament. Looks like something that was written in one hour for the Uncyclopedia Sudden Death Mode Tournament. Oral Exercises Badges This user is hereby nominated an HONORARY JEW, and is entitled to all honors and persecutions as such. This user believes that there's nothing like a proper Jihad to ease your pain And Now, from your Middle Eastern reporter: UnNews:Peugeot Forced to Terminate Employees at UK Factory UnNews:Microsoft To Purchase UnCyclopedia UnNews:A new and promising Israeli peace initative: Landscape Design UnNews:Nasrallah: I did not have sex with that virgin UnNews:Concerns in Israel over new weapon introduced by the Hezbollah UnNews:Israel to cancel North UnNews:Tripods deployed in search for Iranian rockets UnNews:Jews of the World: Israel Who? UnNews:No Elephants in Africa (completly rewritten. I guess I can call it mine.....) UnNews:Chronarion's Second Coming Causing a Wave of Fundamentalism UnNews:Israel Goes Medieval on Hezbollah's Ass UnNews:Hezbollah: We Won UnNews:Israel: We Won UnNews:Ahmadinejad: Happy new Jewish year UnNews:Palestinian Prime Minister Anorexic? UnNews:Hopes for a FlyingFeline audio fails, UnNews rigs for war UnNews:Black Hole discovered in Uncyclopedia, causes a rip in QVFD UnNews:Black Holes conspiracy thickens: another Black Hole discovered at NOTM paddock UnNews:First Saddam sighting in Texas UnNews:Mysterious fart debacles Middle-Eastern summit UnNews:Israeli army chief resigns: "I did it my way" UnNews:Israeli president accused of rape, opens fire during a press conference UnNews:"Uncyclopedia is being overrun by the Brits" UnNews:Hamas protests 40 years of an Israeli controlled Jerusalem by shooting Fattah activists UnNews:Syria: tension mounts as presidential elections enters final phase UnNews:British academic boycott targeted "to thwart colonialism" UnNews:Israel deploys the latest in its arsenal - giant inflated Jews (PLS entry) UnNews:Uncyclopedias all around the globe are being assimilated. Nobody Cares. UnNews:Experts:Mediterranean's climate curiously resembles pea soup UnNews:"Winds of War Not Brewing Due to Regional Fan Malfunction" UnNews:State of Emergency declared in Pakistan, all political assassinations to be suspended UnNews:Suspected Terror Strike Shuts Down IKEA Amsterdam UnNews:Iran achieves nuclear capabilities, western powers advice patience UnNews:Israeli prime minister approves gazebo to be build; severely reprimanded by US officials UnNews:Iranian president survives assassination attempt; blames everyone UnNews:Lebanese government collapses; preparation for bi-annual ball underway	Yer Olde Vanity Cabinet Grand Cross of the Order Uncyclopedian of the Year 2008 Writer of the Month March 2008 Foolitzer Prize Winner August 2006 Triangle of the Month February 2008 UnBooks Author of the Month May 2007 E G A E D M The Emmanuel Goldstein Award December 2010 E G A E D M The Emmanuel Goldstein Award February 2009 E G A E D M The Emmanuel Goldstein Award February 2007 Article Narrator of the Month May 2007 New Bitch Of the Month, December 2007 Mhaille's Excellence Award, April 2008 Featured Article: UnBooks:Conversations With My Father This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Jewish Cuisine This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Gemeentevervoerbedrijf This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Roak Band - Teutonic Invasion This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Kosher Nostra This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: UnScripts:An interview with an Egyptian taxi driver This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Why?Watching a marathon of House, M.D. while you're sick is not a good idea This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: So you thought that using the Euro as currency would be all fun and games? This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Rashōmon This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: HowTo:Pronounce Mahmoud Ahmadinejad This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: MSN Messenger's Guide to Manners, Proper Behavior and Slapstick This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Polish Inquisition This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Truthful Vending GmbH This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: Jewish Holidays This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: HowTo:Prevent your car radio from being stolen This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: The Porchesian Holocaust This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: My Journeys with the GPS This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Featured Article: HowTo:Learn Hebrew This person wrote an article which became one of the Featured Articles on Uncyclopedia. Ain't they clever?! Would you like to know more? Cleaned after some messy recruits FU Breaking the fifth wall Ninjew Linux European Threat to our Computers Katana Shogun Warriors Third Reich Dyslexistan PSP Firmware 2.0 HowTo:Sew Buttons to your younger sibling (not very proud of this one, but it's better than it used to be]] Desert Eagle complete rewrite Captain Ishmael Not ugly anymore, but needs to be more funny... Desmond
Nefarious Plans Still Being Worked Upon Lebanese War | Armed Commercials | Rashōmon | EULA | World Domination Project | HowTo:Write A Song(rw) | Turing Test | Oy Vey! | Englishmen in New York
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsor “This is very un-funny. Why don't you pick on someone your own size like an obese cheeseburger handlers at Wendy's. If you wrote about African Americans like you do Jews, than you would get your ass kicked. Go back to your red-neck front yard and mow the lawn, perhaps you would find your car and your tiny brain.” ~ 88.154.88.187 on Mordildos' anti-semitic humor “fuck off mordiildo you noob” ~ 212.219.142.161 on Mordildos' apparent noobines “FUCK OFF BIGNOSED ZIONIST CUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ~ Gootmate on associating Zionism with feminine attributes “I HATE JEWS!” ~ Kiewzhenyi on Originality “Mordildos (the uncyclopedian admin wannabe noob pwnd by international rescue operative 'UNKNOWN') is a Fascist who does not respect the imaginative contributors to uncyclopedia without prior bribing and/or blackmailing. Also, the aforementioned Mordildos, is a powercrazed Fascist and degenerate, and could not prevent a single horde of incestuous squirrels from edit warring in his countryside” ~ 91.84.15.30 on Power hunger “FUCK YOU MORDILDOS WITH YOUR FUCKY FUCK FUCK ATTITUTE AND YOUR SHITTY SHIT SHIT DEMOCROCY, YOU KNOW, IF I WERE HIM I WOULD KILL HIM WITH A FUCKING GUN IMMEDIATELY AND EAT HIS FUCKING BRAINS, IF MORDILDOS WERE SO SMART WHY DOESN'T HE PUSH HIS FUCKING PENIS UP HIS ASS AND EATS IT, MODILLO ISN'T COOL. I HOPE SOMEONE FINDS HIS ADDRESS AND COMES TO KILL YOU. HOPE YOU DIE!!!” ~ 200.88.114.166 on the boundaries of capitalization “Thanks for blocking me... you are a big dick” ~ NXWave on Mordildos' sexual attributes “mordildos liek to suk on menz penisezz, itz a proven fact'” ~ 87.69.0.142 on why male genitalia beats lollypops on each category “i agree with these guys!!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^” ~ 125.237.206.135 on importance of consensus “Mordildos is a fucking idiot who seems to find blocking people fun. He obviously feels powerful when he does this. Really he is just a little boy sitting at home spending the rest of his time wanking off to soft porn. Fuck you.” ~ Connie the Commie on hobbies and extra curriculum activities “your sense of humor seems a bit lacking. upon review of your contribution log, we have come to the conclusion that you are more of a con than a pro to the uncyclopedian community (having added little NEW content and having deleted LOTS of older, funny stuff. Therefore, we have decided to disregard your opinions on the continued existance of several pages. our regards, the Management” ~ Apocalypse r on Dwindling mandate “Mordildos is gay. he is the worst uncyclopedia teacher EVER he suxs. He gave me a F!!!! because i copied his user page. Even though it wasnt my fault. i dot like him and niobody does because he is gay and stupid and ugly and retarted and fat. HE IS SO BAD. I HOPE HE GET SOME SICK” ~ MrN9000 on getting caught plagiarising Mordildos' user page “In April of 2009, Mordillo was forced to eat 5 pounds of Dogshit at the Delaware State Fairgrounds in front of over 100,000 people. Former U.S. President Bill Cosby immediately fucked the Nigger faggot Mordillo up the ass after he finished eating the 5 pounds of Dogshit” ~ some bored fuck on alternate American history “<insert prolific master piece>” ~ Best writer ever. “stop huffing people you faggot get a life and a since of humor hahahahahahahaha'” ~ 24.123.205.34 on Since of the father “FUCK U MORDILLO! FUCK U A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ~ 92.3.140.4 on Wishful thinking “FUCK YOU MORDILLA YOU SMELLY JEW-INFESTED PIECE OF DOG CRAP - I'M FUCKING INVINCIBLE NOW.. LET'S SEE YOU TRY AND DELETE MY SHIT NOW! I'M A FUCKING GENIUS.” ~ Mordilla is a Jew on Introduction to Mordillo's wife “Hi, this is God - I'm just calling to say that I hate Mordillo a lot, feel free to wage Holy War on this son of a bitch for me. peace niggers.” ~ God on Divine intervention “FUCK YOU JEW-BISCUIT” ~ 92.0.130.201 on Jewish dietary laws “Perma-ban me, you cockmunching niggerjew!” ~ Gomphog on Interracial curiosities

Last thing before we go. Don't EVER get involved in the AAN project. You'll end up marrying your own sister, who is also your niece.