UnNews:First Saddam sighting in Texas
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
31 December 2006
Gun Barrel City, Texas
In an unsurprising turn of events, the first random Saddam sighting was just announced in Texas. It all started mere hours following former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's alleged "execution".
Billy Ray Bob Joe Jim Young, an appalled Gun Barrel resident: "I went to fill up my 70 gallon gas tank SUV at the local gas station, when this gentleman, wearing a cowboy hat, smoking a cigar and carrying a double-barrel shotgun came out to fill up my tank".
"I looked at him and told him: 'Y'all look a bit familiar, are we going to the same church?'
And he looked at me with those angry eyes and said, with a very heavy Irqai accent:'I don't think so. I'm Sunny'.
I said:' Well I'll be god darn it! You sound just like those A-rabs I was gunnin' down in I-raq back in 1991. You sure came long way to fill my tank!'
He puffed his cigar for a minute and I saw his index finger tightening around the trigger and then he told me, quietly: 'In the name of Allah, if I were you, I'd drive on now, and I wouldn't look back'. And with this final word he walked back into his booth where I heard Riders On the Storm playing from. I tell you, at this minute, I realized who he was: Saddam Hussein! And those I-raqis were supposed to hang him dead! I got the shivers and just drove off".
While authorities in the US refused to comment on the issue claiming it to be "complete and utter horseshit" a high level source in the Iraqi government commented simply by stating: "Ladies and gentlemen, Saddam has left the building. Good night."
