That time I was nearly raped by Feyd Rautha Harkonnen during my sojourn in Dune

I mean dude, WTF? Does your shlong actually gets any ventilation at all with that thing on?

Dude, that fucking thing he was wearing as panties was huge. Like, WTF?

So there I was

camping in the fucking dunes, doing my the spice must flow thing with the Spice Harvester shit and the Sandworms, right? Like, Fremen badass shit.

PENIS

so I pulled out my

Kris and cut the shit out of the thing he was wearing on his loins, and and I find out he was waiting for me to release his shlong so he can mount me! WTF?

I barely got away with a major internal bleeding and a severed brachialis radial.

No, seriously. He nearly raped me.

See also

• That time I nearly wrote a good prequel during my sojourn in my father's grave