Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/Press Room/12

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Box idea[edit]

If you need filler or possibly anyway.

Tweet of the week: I've just been given a lighter. Time to take up smoking.

Just an idea. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 06:38 26 May 2009

How precisely is this Uncyc-related? --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 11:55, May 27
This wasn't me. My account was haxxxed by an idiot. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 11:57 27 May 2009

an article[edit]

Heading would be: Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia!

Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia. I merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, “Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!” Lets find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university has to say about this: It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth. See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia.

I have also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he replied, Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story. Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists…very afraid…

To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

--Docile hippopotamus 06:57, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

With a couple of minor editorial tweaks, I'll take it. Ta! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 11:52, May 27


I'll be delivering this weeks. At 21:00. Is that okay? MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 01:59, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

You're back! On another note, I've been working on getting my bot operational though. Normally, I should be able to deliver it with my bot. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 04:57, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
Oh 'eck, that means I've got to write a main story. Errr... *Thinks quickly* --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 08:11, May 28
Write about that scottish fag that got 4 features in 1 month. Probably not a record but I'm the first gay person to do it. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 08:15 28 May 2009
Orian: maybe another time. Dex: awesome, deliver when you want to! --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 13:36, May 28
Delivery completed. That'll be $23.45. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:20, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

I'm an attention whore[edit]

I want this week's biopic about me or else I'm gonna fuck you all in the nostrils. Thanks. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool Egypt_orb_spinning.gif 07:46 May 28 '09

This week's bio is already written. Will it be you? Find out, only in this week's UnSignpost! (Also, I have a special nostril chastity belt, with a built-in banstick deterrent). --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 08:12, May 28
You do already appear in that Nile thing. Icons-flag-it.png Don 15px-AAN.jpg20px-Oberst.jpg Puttano cHeDDs 15px-Jenny_Spy_Revised_Again.jpg 19px-Leprechaun_army.jpg 15px-TMMAN.jpeg 20px-Missmurder.jpeg 15px-SCBBQGPOS.jpg User talk:CheddarBBQ 16:40,12June,2009

I got a story!! And I'm completely serious about it, too.[edit]

It's completely unrelated to Uncyclopedia, though. Here:

The state of the music industry

With the release of Eminem's newest album, Relapse, it is safe to say the music industry is finally pulling itself out of the shitfest it was stuck in for over four years. That's right. Rockers such as Lil Wayne and Miley Cyrus are no longer at the top of the Billboards. We have a new Christina Aguilera, named Lady Gaga, and Green Day has finally shut up about George W. Bush and has gone back to just being a pussy left-wing activist group striving for the legalisation of marijuana. "This is a glorious time for music." said former MTV host turned crack addict Carson Daily. "Emo music is dying off, Dr. Dre is finally releasing that Detox album, and the only notable boy band has retreated to a crappy show on the Disney Channel".
Some critics, however, say we may never return to the glorious 90s. "It's not possible," says musical critic Mark LeDouché, "That is, unless we see the return of Europop/dance to America!"
That is why we at the UnSignpost urge you to go and download Aqua's Barbie Girl off of iTunes. Push that baby to the top one more time! Show the music industry what we really want to listen to! The power is yours!

What'd ya think? I know. It's fucking awesome just like that song Barbie Girl. Which you should get. Do it. And I am still straight. Only straight men listen to Eurodance groups like Aqua and Toy-Box. That's cause we're so straight... I AM NOT GAY, DAMMIT!!! MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 15:13, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh man. I have the actual German version on Babie Girl on my computer. It is quite more hilarious than the American version. Woody On Fire! Wood burning.gifTalking Woody Stalking Woody 15:25, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
Or we could turn this into a plea for more activity in UnTunes. ~Orian57~ Icons-flag-gb.png ~Talk~ Gay sign.png 15:41 29 May 2009
I guess add, "Oh, and the first person to do an UnTunes parody of Barbie Girl gets a guaranteed win on VFH. Serious. If it's in German, you are a wizard." MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 15:43, 29 May 2009 (UTC)
I refer the honourable gentleman to the reply I gave the member for Guildensternenstein some time ago - Uncyc-related or take it to BHoP. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 18:55, Jun 4

Also, you could do a follow-up on May 21st story of the missing users[edit]

'Member? Two of the users missing have come back. One of them even said where he had been! The other just stared blankly into your eyes for 10 minutes before making a porno with a bunny rabbit. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:36, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

A porno with a bunny rabbit? Nostalgia trip... Saberwolf116 14:16, 30 May 2009 (UTC)
Yes. It's on my page, but it's not animated. Or zany. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 16:01, 30 May 2009 (UTC)

Any delivery types out there?[edit]

Latest issue hot off the presses and ready to jam up talk pages all over the wiki - anybody out there to do the deed? --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 19:02, Jun 4

Even though I don't normally do, I will. What do I have to do? Saberwolf116 00:11, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Nevermind, it seems simple enough. Saberwolf116 00:13, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Sorry about the delay; lost my internet. Saberwolf116 01:45, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Done! Saberwolf116 03:07, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
Damn... Somebody should've told me on my talkpage to do it. Sorry you had to Saberwolf. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 03:24, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
His hands will never be the same... Colin Explode fire.gifALL YOUR BASEExplode fire.gifHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 03:55, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
The fact that my internet stopped right in the middle of it didn't help, either. Saberwolf116 03:58, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Idea: Count to a million reaches it's 16th month (Rough Draft)[edit]

Yes, it's true. The original bandwith eating topic Spang made is nearing it's sixteenth month, another insignificant milestone people care about. Many people didn't really care until Leoispotter mentioned it.

delivery again[edit]

any non-lazy robots or users out there available to deliver this week's compelling signpost issue? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:56, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Doesn't socky have a bot he's been working on? Saberwolf116 20:36, 11 June 2009 (UTC)
Nope. The shit won't fucking work. Oh, and don't worry, I'll deliver the UnSignpost. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 12:46, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
socky, you are awesome! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 13:16, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
Thanks Gerry. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:07, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
socky - are you editing from belgium? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:20, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
Yes. Why do you ask? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:34, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
i saw you flag and it intrigued me. cool! belgium! it's weird to think that i can make funnies with people from england, belgium, egpyt, australia, and more, all at the same time! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 15:53, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
Ah, the wonders of the internet. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 15:55, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

MrN returns![edit]

A little something I whipped up:

MrN is back, sources say

Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page, maintaining QVFD, among various other talks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing a award of reliability on him.

Just a little somethin'. Saberwolf116 04:32, 16 June 2009 (UTC)

Things are brewing in IRC[edit]

People are yelling at each other, stalking eachother, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is of course IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains. But seriously folks, insults and harassment are no laughing matter.

A first draft. What do you think? Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 13:40, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
well if it's inspired by or referring to any drama, recent or otherwise, it won't fly. we're here to lightheartedly report on uncyclopedia goings-on, not bring any more attention to drama and such. you mention a recent luvvy incident, which i am not familiar with, so i am hesitant to include it unless i know it won't be glorifying that sort of thing. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:07, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
No really, it's not, it's just about IRC in general. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:15, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
okay, i've placed it in the issue, but i don't like the ending, which seems too serious. can you rework the last line? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:29, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
I changed it a bit. Maybe you can just leave out the last sentence and end the article with "The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains." Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 14:32, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
yes, i like that much better, without any mention of harassment. thanks so much! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:39, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I know this is late[edit]

But you have to include this block: http://en.uncyclopedia.co/w/index.php?title=Special:Log&type=block&page=User%3A206.172.6.34

Saberwolf116 14:51, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

well, we already have a mordillo block this week that is relevant to last week's issue. but this one can be in next week's issue. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:55, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

I noticed it wasn't delivered yet.[edit]

You want for I to do it? I mean, it's already a day late. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 19:24, 19 June 2009 (UTC)

sure, if you don't mind. i asked MrN if his robot made the trip back with him, but he seems to be away. also this will qualify you to become an official USP paperbot! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:28, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
So it takes four times to become an USP paperbot, then? I thought it was only three... Whatever. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 19:30, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
oh, did you deliver one when i wasn't looking? i'll add you straightaway. dreadfully sorry, old chap. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:33, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Yep. Also, I'm finished. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:36, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
thanks a million! you are awesome! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:47, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
Yeah. By the way, that'll be a million dollars. MegaPleb Dexter111344 Complain here 20:51, 19 June 2009 (UTC)