Babel:Rip

Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning, the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited Rest In Peace brave souls

Petty Politics Death Burial Services

The Dead Quaint Why?

Nothingness More Dead All are Death

In Memoriam Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced. Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor. A minute's deletion is to be observed. Today's Featured Article edit On this day... March 31: Condom Appreciation Day 4000 BC - Babylonians create the first wooden condoms (Pictured), resulting in much fewer unexpected pregnancies and many, many, many more splinter-related injuries. 1865 - The modern condom is introduced, consisting of sheep stomach lining coated with sulfuric acid. It is quixotically not well received. 1939 - With the invention of latex, the modern modern condom is introduced, single handedly ending the Great Depression. 1961 - Condoms are mentioned on television for the first time, in an episode of The Flintstones entitled Put It Back In. 1970 - National No-Condom decade kicks off at Studio 69 in New York City. 2009 - The Pope claims that condoms increase the number of people with AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, in a similar manner to how exercise is unhealthy and cheeseburgers eat people.	Word of the Day Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much). Editors of en.uncyclopedia.co die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News. Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died. Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there... The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh... Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots. All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands. The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku. The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues. Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed. The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives. All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans. In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly. The Americans have organised a drive through service. edit If anyone cares on a day like today... ... I burning your dog? (Pictured) ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman? ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one? ... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace... ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth? ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that I'm coming to get you? (Pictured) ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser? ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away? ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
Today's featured Tombstone Although the practice has been popular in Japan for centuries, only recently have men in Western countries begun to wear live hens in the place of the usual cloth neck ties. Image credit: The Hedgehog View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images Archive - Nominate new image
edit Recent Tributes Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
Writer and Noob of the Month Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself. "An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006 Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.