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Rest In Peace brave souls
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In MemoriamIs it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
| Today's Featured Article
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| On this day...
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December 30: Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day
- 4004 BC - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
- 4 BC - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year! Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" was inaugurated.
- 1037 - King Arthur loses the holy grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers, crusades ensue.
- 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K bug, but put it off until December 31.
- 2002 - Saddam Hussein realises he forgot to send George Bush a Christmas card.
- 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parady of wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
- 2005 - Forget it! If it ain't done, wait 'til next year.
- 2006 - Saddam Hussein executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
- 2012 - The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!
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| Word of the Day
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Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of en.uncyclopedia.co die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.