Portal:Art
The Art Portal
Art might be the expression of amazing talent and possibly not stupidity or lack of imagination. Art may be generally considered purely a middle/upper class pursuit. However, some examples may have practical applications, meaning that they might also be enjoyed by the working classes.
Art is commonly understood as the act of making love to things that look like nothing much like people and which have no meaning beyond simple description. While art is often indistinguishable from mockery and pointless hobby activities, this boundary can at times be hard to define, as if anyone cares. The term creative arts denotes a collection of disciplines whose principal purpose is the output of material for the viewer or audience to ignore.
As such, art may be taken to include forms ranging from literary forms (posing as a writer or a poet); performance-based forms (a big song and dance over meagre grants; drama about how your genius is not appreciated); visual and "spastic arts" (panting, rupture, pornography); to forms that also have a dysfunctional role, such as pipefitting and pancake design. Art may also be understood as relating to lost creativity, missed æsthetics and the generation of pointless or disturbing emotion that honestly no one cares about.
- ↑ Interestingly, the modern German word for art is kunst, may be an anagram of a descriptive term possibly commonly applied to artists.
Featured Artistic Art Article
On the 4th of January, 2025, The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art will play host to the art works of one of this countries premier young artists. Pau Pei, originally from the Chinese province of Onthera Dio, is presenting his latest collection “The Concentric Curiosities.” Below is a selection of some of the highlights of the collection for your perusal and prospective purchase.[1]
Pre-display purchases can be made over the phone and via the website. Payment methods taken are Cheque, money order, Credit card (Visa, Mastercard, Diner's Club and American Express accepted), Debit Card, Cash, Paypal, International Draft (excluding the Royal Bank of Nigeria), and Cash Passport.
Come across a decent article on art? Well, make sure you wipe it clean, pervert. Then submit it for promotion.
This Week's Featured Image
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Yes, the Grodin Museum. The only art museum in the world showcasing works inspired by actor Charles Grodin, star of such timeless classics as Beethoven and Clifford. The museum had been closed since November for unknown reasons.
“Meh, I've seen better,” Matthew Cordell, an American resident of Paris, said Sunday. “It’s been a shitty confinement ... We chose to live in Paris because we love the museums so it’s really nice to be able to get out and see some art inspired by middle-of-the-road 90s family comedies about cute dogs.”
But mindless kids movies from your Millennial childhood aren't the only films highlighted in these sculptures, paintings, and other works of art.
| Archive | Article credit: PF4Eva | (more ) |
Art News on Uncyclopedia
- Are aliens visiting Earth to steal artistic ability from humans?
- European critics praise American performance artist
- Bellagio unveils Toon Erotica exhibit
- Contemporary art piece sells for £193000, worth more than man's life
Got an art-related news story? You can add it to this portal here.
Highlighted Biography
Salvador Dalí was born “Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domenech, Marquis of Pubol” in Spain in 1904. Dalí was like any normal person. He lived with his disciplinarian father, and his over-compensating mother, where he learned the values he held dear. Dalí upheld good practices such as eating your vegetables, drinking your milk, spitting on your toothbrush and not your dead mother's portrait, saying your prayers, and taking vitamins. He did this, like everything else, without complaining. Unlike Pablo Picasso who broke every rule from day one.
Given the length of his name, Dalí was unable to find a career in the mundane. With no skills to help him make money, he decided to earn even less money by his “art”. His unique perspective made his entry into the art world a given while his motivations were as cliché as any other artist: Being a famous painter gets you free drinks and a lot more girls go home with you.
Art Quote
“No great artist ever sees things as they really are. If he did, he would cease to be an artist.”
Got a funny quote that's vaguely related to art? (submit quote...)
Did You Know...
- ...that Adolf Hitler was killed by an austrian artist?
- ...that Man Ray was neither a real man nor a ray?
- ...that Adolf Hitler was killed by an austrian artist?
Further Reading
Below is a list of some other stuff vaguely connected to art:
Artsy Art Articles
Art | Photography | Poetry | First Gradeism | ASCII art | Bad Art | Surrealism | Dance | Music | Photoshop | Latte art | Look, It's Art | Graffiti | Fascism (Artistic Movement) | Literature | Artistic licence | Avant-Garde | HowTo:Draw Female Breasts | Abstract expressionism | Baby Impressionism | Conceptual Art | Architecture | UnBooks:Vincent Van Gogh's Things To Do on a Rainy Afternoon
What You Can Do To Help
- Find a remarkable article about art, artists, or Art, and suggest it for promotion
- Help these arty articles. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic
- Add sombre, boring or otherwise artistic quotes here
- Found or made an image that'd look nice as a feature? Submit it here
- Be as artistic as you possibly can
- Steal a Rembrandt from somewhere and donate it to us
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- ↑ Descriptions taken from the original “The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art: A Visitors Guide” by Professor Oliver N Acute-Tell, curator of “The Antipodean Gallery of Post-Modern Art”