Portal:Art

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The Art Portal
Art for art's sake is an empty phrase

Art (from the German arsch, translating loosely to "sexy ginger") might be the expression of amazing talent and possibly not stupidity or lack of imagination. Art may be generally considered purely a middle/upper class pursuit. However, some examples may have practical applications, meaning that they might also be enjoyed by the working classes.

Art is commonly understood as the act of making love to things that look like nothing much like people and which have no meaning beyond simple description. While art is often indistinguishable from mockery and pointless hobby activities, this boundary can at times be hard to define, as if anyone cares. The term creative arts denotes a collection of disciplines whose principal purpose is the output of material for the viewer or audience to ignore.

Today's Featured Images
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Yes, the Grodin Museum. The only art museum in the world showcasing works inspired by actor Charles Grodin, star of such timeless classics as Beethoven and Clifford.
Featured Art-icle
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Girl with a Pearl Earring is a painting by the renowned cubist Johannes Vermeer. Many have said it resembles a girl with a cloth wrapped around her hair. Just as the name implies, if you form a triangle between the girl's "eyes" and the tiny white dot just below the "cheek" area, and rotate the triangle 135 degrees counterclockwise about the "left eye," a focal point is formed where the white dot lands. When the image is magnified on a computer, tiny squares of color can be seen. Each square is approximately 100 square micrometers in area, further emphasizing the preciseness of Vermeer's cubism.

Featured Biography
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Salvador Dalí was born Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domenech, Marquis of Pubol in Spain in 1904. Dalí was like any normal person. He lived with his disciplinarian father, and his over-compensating mother, where he learned the values he held dear. Dalí upheld good practices such as eating your vegetables, drinking your milk, spitting on your toothbrush and not your dead mother's portrait, saying your prayers, and taking vitamins. He did this, like everything else, without complaining. Unlike Pablo Picasso who broke every rule from day one.

Given the length of his name, Dalí was unable to find a career in the mundane. With no skills to help him make money, he decided to earn even less money by his art. His unique perspective made his entry into the art world a given while his motivations were as cliché as any other artist: Being a famous painter gets you free drinks and a lot more girls go home with you.

Did You Know?
  • ... that Marge Simpson is the sexiest woman ever depicted in art?
  • ... that the Mona Lisa is only 2mm x 3mm?
  • ... that if you are male and like ballet, you are gay?
  • ... that Hitler painted using only brushes made from hairs plucked from the beards of rabbis?
  • ... that the Empire State Building is fitted with six fully-functioning rocket engines, allowing the US President to use it as an escape vehicle in the event of alien attack?
  • ... that my dog shits better art than Tracey Emin makes?
Arts in the News
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