Daniel Brandt (video game)

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Daniel Brandt: The Video Game was released by Non-tendo™ Advanced Gaming Systems in December 2005. It immediately swept the gaming world with its non-stop flamewarring action, fantastically realistic system-gaming gameplay, and nearly incomprehensible backstory. It is believed that Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is addicted to the game, and spends several hours a day completely engrossed in it, as well as several hours a day just being completely gross. (Why this is significant, no one can say.)

Video Game Wars


In Development

June 2005[edit | edit source]

*Welcome to Daniel Brandt: The Video Game*

*bchase has entered the game*

*teamwik has entered the game*

bchase: rdy?

*teamwik has left the game*

bchase: sweet

bchase: nobody cares lol

*bchase edits John Seigenthaler Sr.!!!*

bchase: PWNED

*teamwik has entered the game*

teamwik: wtf?

bchase: don't mind me

bchase: oops, musta thought it was uncyc :^P (wink wink)

teamwik: kthx

bchase: cya

teamwik: got anyone to BANZORZ?!?!?

*bchase has left the game*

November 2005[edit | edit source]

*sgnthaler has entered the game*

teamwik: yo d00d

sgnthaler: wtf?

teamwik: what's yer problem

sgnthaler: yer article about me is full of s**t is my problem

teamwik: lol so fix it d00d

sgnthaler: f**k that

sgnthaler: i'm callin' my lawyer

teamwik: WP:NLT, d00d

teamwik: BANZORZED!!!1!1Eleven!!

*sgnthaler has left the game*

*jimbo has entered the game*

jimbo: wassup

teamwik: nuthin'

teamwik: d00d was being a d1kkk, BANZORZED!!!

jimbo: who?

teamwik: sgnthaler


teamwik: zomgwtf?

jimbo: you f****d up

teamwik: oh s**t

teamwik: uh sorry

*jimbo edits John Seigenthaler Sr.!!!*

jimbo: I'm wondering, what would happen if we just don't say anything about this?

jimbo: maybe the liberal media conspiracy won't find out

jimbo: we'll just say we got no way to tell who did it

teamwik: kewl

*jimbo has left the game*

December 2005[edit | edit source]

*dbrandt has entered the game*

teamwik: hey

dbrandt: uh check this out

*dbrandt ID'z bchase!!!*

*dbrandt nukes teamwik!!!*

*2000 points damage to teamwik!!!*

dbrandt: PWNED

teamwik: omgwtf!!!!!

teamwik: uh, not our fault tho

teamwik: stpd-fk thought it was uncyc right?

teamwik: that makes it ok right?

teamwik: right...?

*bchase apologizes to sgnthaler!!!*

*bchase PWNED!!!*

*bchase is out of the game!!!*

dbrandt: cya

*dbrandt has left the game*

teamwik: s**t we're scr00d

teamwik: this sucks


*teamwik edits Daniel Brandt!!!*

*4 points damage to dbrandt!!!*

teamwik: PWNED!!!!!!

*dbrandt has entered the game*

dbrandt: wtf?

teamwik: PWNAGE

*teamwik_lxbeak AFD's Daniel Brandt!!!*

teamwik: DENIED

January 2006[edit | edit source]

*dbrandt AFD's Daniel Brandt!!!*

teamwik: DENIED

February 2006[edit | edit source]

*teamwik_tbeatty AFD's Daniel Brandt!!!*


teamwik: sorry dbrandt YOU ARE "NOTABLE"

teamwik: even though nobody knows who the f**k you are, lol

dbrandt: ok fkrs have it your way

dbrandt: btw yer all breakin' the new USA cyberstalker law

teamwik: WP:NLT, d00d

teamwik: BANZORZED!!1!!!1!ELEVEN!

*dbrandt has left the game*


teamwik: BWUHAHAHAHA we'll never hear from that TROLL again lol

teamwik: kewl

*dbrandt ID'z teamwik!!!*

*500 points damage to teamwik!!!*

teamwik: wtf? OH NOES!

*teamwik FREAKZOUTZORZ!!!*

teamwik: but he was BANZORZED??!?!?? how can this be?

*teamwik is now known as "hive"*

hive: omgwtf?!?!?

hive: uh, can we set the name back to what it was?

hive: no?

hive: fkn s**t

March/April 2006[edit | edit source]

*dbrandt offers DEAL to hive*

hive: no deals with terrorists stalkers crackpots TROLLS

*hive rejects DEAL*


*hive_lxbeak has entered the game*

lxbeak: Uh, can't we all just get along? :^)

*hive nukes hive_lxbeak!!!*

*100 points damage to hive_lxbeak!!!*

lxbeak: Come on, guys, was that really necessary? :^)

lxbeak: After all, I have SOOPER BOOROCRAT POWARZ. :^)

hive: no deals

hive: no negotiations

hive: no more mister nice guy

lxbeak: Fine. I'll just be on my merry way, then. :^)

lxbeak: Have a nice day! :^)

*hive_lxbeak has left the game*

hive: wuss

hive: what more can dbrandt do now anyway lol

May 2006[edit | edit source]

*dbrandt ID'z hive_anti-scientologist_kabaaaal!!!*

*dbrandt ID'z hive_genderbenders!!!*

*dbrandt ID'z hive_kfan!!!*

*hive_kfan PWNED!!!*

*1000 points damage to hive_kfan!!!*

*hive_kfan resigns from hive!!!*

*1000 points damage to hive!!!*

*hive_slimmy resigns from hive!!!*

*74 points restored to hive!!!*

hive: ok uh maybe there was more he could do


hive: now we're RLY pissed off

hive: let's get jimbo

hive: hey jimbo

hive: uh, jimbo?

hive: hello?

*hive_slimmy returns to hive!!!*

*1326 points damage to hive!!!*

June 2006[edit | edit source]

*hive OPBANZORZED hive_NSLE!!!111

*2000 points damage to hive_NSLE!!!*

hive: either you are with us or against us, no deals with TROLLS

*hive_NSLE PWNED!!!*

*hive_NSLE resigns from hive!!!*

hive: loser

hive: hey i know let's just ignore dbrandt from now on

hive: cool

July 2006[edit | edit source]

hive: hey this IGNORE ALL TROLLSES policy seems to be working

hive: outings and troll-board postings are down 40 percent from last month

*Ken Lay DEATHZORZ!!!*

*Concerned citizens edit Ken Lay!!!*

*Reuters pwns Wikipedia!!!*

*15 points damage to hive!!!*

hive: hey now that was just uncalled for

hive: i mean it only said he'd committed suicide for like two f***ing minutes

hive: everybody hates us

*jimbo has entered the game*

jimbo: wassup

hive: usual bs

jimbo: y'know, lately i've been thinking...

hive: uh-oh

jimbo: what if we tried to be more, you know, humane?

jimbo: like, maybe we should be more concerned about human dignity?

jimbo: even if that meant we were, you know, less inclusionary?

hive: uh, okay

hive: we'll get right on it

jimbo: kthxbye

*jimbo has left the game*

*angela has entered the game*

angela: Hey this article about me sux

hive: omg! it must be deleted at once! WE SHALL BROOK NO DELAYZORZ!

angela: k - cya

*angela has left the game*

hive: sure is dull around here now that we're not troll-baiting so much anymore

hive: Zzzzzzzz

hive: um...anybody know what the score is now?

hive: we're still winning right?

hive: right...?

To be continued

See also[edit | edit source]

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The so-called experts at Wikipedia do not have a proper article about Daniel Brandt. No, not even a redirect. We are sorry they are this lame.

  Part of the Daniel Brandt Series
Wikipersecution Complex, Daniel Brandt (True Version), Daniel Brandt (False Version), Brandtopedia, Daniel Brandt (non-person), Daniel Brandt (video game)