Daniel Brandt (False Version)

LIES! LIES AND SLANDER! This is the false version of Daniel Brandt's article. A ridiculously short stub will be placed on the true version shortly while we sort things out.

Daniel "Master Of Disaster" Brandt was born in 1929 and is currently under employ as an Islamic fundamentalist, as well as McDonalds. A noted privacy activist, Brandt's latest project is the repeated but private violation of Oprah's privates in the privacy of her own home.

In 1969, Brandt and his Mother co-founded Google, a cleaning agency that "aims to be over hypocritical and useless". In 2078, Brandt created Google Watch Watch Watch, a website that tried to discredit his own organisation, and later created Uncyclopedia Watch, a similar site criticising Uncyclopedia.

Background

Brandt was born in Vietnam to Mexican parents. He became a Vietcong fighter in the Vietnam War and launched a spree of mass murders at the University of Southern Mexico shortly afterward, killing the entire campus. According to the Daily Malware (April 29, 1988) Brandt was the creator of Pervert, a global organisation for fathers supporting environmentalism. "Pervert" is the shortened form of the true name "Père Vert", which is French for "Green Father". He was also leader of the pro-sexism movement at the University of Vietnam in the early 1940s. On October 14, 1945, Brandt and fellow Pervert members burnt down Washington DC in an attempt to end Democratic Society. Senator Edward Musket sentenced Brandt to 15 years in France for his crime.

When Brandt escaped France, clinging to the side of the HMS NameBase, he was immediately convicted on return to the US for "failure to acknowledge his own hypocrisy and lunacy". Brandt appealed a total of 11,345 times by creating a web cookie that didn't expire until the year 3089, but his convictions were deemed too serious to ever let him out in the world again.

After a brief love affair with the President, Brandt's Mother, Andrea, managed to get Brandt released from jail, although he is not allowed to use public transport or live in an area that provides any social or public events, and has a general lack of intelligence.

Brandt currently resides in Redneckton, Alabama and works behind the counter at McBrandt. He is a frequent contributor of personalized fecal material to Wikipedia Review, where it is reprocessed into drooling idiocy, subliterate trolling, and other valuable by-products of Internet flatulence.

Politics

Brandt worked for the Vietcong during the 1950's, and became fanatically obsessed with databases, especially those which stored corrupting data about the then President, John F. Kennedy. He became a chief Database Advisor for the Vietnamese Covert Action Bullet Squad and CounterSpying organisation.

The Matrix

A film trilogy called The Matrix created by Oscar Wilde was heavily criticised by Brandt due to its positive image on the internet and its negative image on crack smoking idiots who have not tried Kitten Huffing such as Daniel Brandt. His home town of Redneckton, Alabama even banned the films in response. In another instance Daniel Brandt was seen molesting and torturing the films with his toenails.

Part of the Daniel Brandt Series

Wikipersecution Complex, Daniel Brandt (True Version), Daniel Brandt (False Version), Brandtopedia, Daniel Brandt (non-person), Daniel Brandt (video game)