Today's featured privacy issue
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One of Wikipedia's most reviled administrators, User:OneOfWikipedia'sMostReviledAdmins is none other than Fox News "personality" Sean Hannity. Sean began editing Wikipedia last week, and immediately undertook to insult as many Scientologists, heterosexuals, and accountability advocates as he could find. Within a mere six hours, he had impressed the Wikithugs in charge to such a degree that they gave him complete control over all of Wikipedia's editorial content, as well as "Steward" status, which allowed him to immediately demote all of the other administrators to "pathetic n00b" status, while he proceeded to delete everything on the site related to liberalism, humanitarianism, or any other uses of the human brain.
Within 30 minutes, Hannity had essentially turned Wikipedia into a mirror of "Fox News Online," complete with several fawning articles covering what U.S. President George W. Bush had worn to the golf course that weekend. Which, as it turned out, was a comfortable, yet easy-care polyester-cotton blend polo emblazoned with the Bush family crest, along with a pair of neatly-pressed slacks purchased from Neiman-Marcus for an astoundingly low price of just... (continued...)
Recently featured: Dick Cheney - John Seigenthaler Sr. - Brian Chase
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Did you know that in real life...
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- Captain Obvious says I hate those Wikipedian commie morons? Its true! I mean, they want people to know stuff for free! This is an outrage! I'll set up a website against the whole thing...
- User:PsychoticMassMurderer is actually Morton Finkelstein of Sandusky, Ohio, a man who once misused serial commas twice in the same sentence?
- Brandt was called an "It" on January 3, 2006 at 13:01pm and 3.412212111 seconds; an obvious breach of all known human rights known to any carbon-based lifeforms?
- User:NeoNaziTrollWithBadBreath is actually you, since you're a neo-Nazi troll with bad breath?
- I'm watching you from behind the refrigerator? I'm really skinny, you see.
- User:George W. Bush is not actually President George W. Bush at all, but rather an extremely clever impostor?
- User:Some user is actually still at large?
- Some people actually do prefer not to have personal details about themselves published on major websites?
- Except for Furries, who essentially have no shame whatsoever?
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- President Bush signs the Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act, which in effect states, "Screw You, Wikipedia."
- Kenneth Lay dies, commits suicide, has a heart attack, dies again, and finally has a suicidal heart attack due to his having died of supreme, ultimate happiness over having made so much money by stealing from middle-class working stiffs.
- Jimbo Wales launches another pointless, meaningless tirade about free speech, but nobody cares.
- Google unveils a new feature, "Google Harassment," which gives internet users access to stalking and harassment links directly from the Google Toolbar.
- The Supreme Court of the United States refuses for the 13,237th time to hear the case of Brandt vs. World. Brandt vows to "try again next month."
- The United States Congress once again refuses to acknowlege the existence of Wikipedia, referring to the entire internet simply as "a series of boobs shaped like tubes."
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On this day...
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- 1812 - Americans witness the first Invasion of Privacy when British troops invade Privacy, Maryland on their way to burn down Washington, DC.
- 1861 - Civil War breaks out between Northern Wikipedians and Southern Wikipedians over the issue of Mind-Slavery. The North wishes to end Mind-Slavery, but the South crushes the North and assimilates all 14 unbanned survivors.
- 1899 - First appearance of Krazy Kat in a sentence.
- 1917 - Jimmy Durante leads US and British forces to victory against the Germans in the Battle of the Bored.
- 1999 - Wikipedia appears for the first time in a gas-station bathroom outside of Cincinnati, Ohio. The first 100 people who pee in it are immediately sysopped.
- 2005 - "The Wikipedia Hive Mind" is first posted on the World Wide Web. Wikipedians unanimously deny the site's notability in their weekly newsletter, The Buzzzzz.
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