Dead Rising

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Frank West is fucked!

Dead Rising is a video game where you send zombies to that little zombie heaven in the ground. The game stars Frank West, a man who goes to pick up groceries with his flat mate Ed DeLuca via helicopter, where he discovers that the population gathering at the front gate for a refund. Frank tells Ed to pick him up in three days, enough time to gather necessities like pop tarts, and then proceeds to break his legs jumping onto the mall.

For some reason the game has a leveling up system similar to an RPG, it is possible to level up in this game all the way to Level 50.

There are also many, many weapons that can be used to take down hungry zombies and various psychos in the mall.

The game later had a remake known as Chop Until The Various Wounds Scattered On The Body Deal Enough Damage That The Zombie Has Had Enough And Goes For A Lie Down.

The game also had a sequel which is know as Dead Rising 2, which is about a man named Chuck Greene, who even know he only has three days to prove himself innocent from the military, provide his daughter with the medicine she needs, and kill a shit load of zombies, still has time to do things such as watch movies, go down water slides, and ride electric bulls.

Plot[edit | edit source]

Justin Bieber is still alive!

Frank West visits Willamette, Colorado out of curiosity to why it had been sealed off by the military and discovers it crawling with zombies. Possibly not the smartest man in the world, he decides to visit a local mall, which has been barricaded to prevent the zombies from eating the survivor's brains. He encounters an old man known as Dr. Barnaby, and strangely decides to take a picture of him. He orders his pilot to return to him after three days.

At that moment, an idiotic elderly woman allows the zombies to break the barricade in order to save her dog, causing the zombies to invade the mall. The game implies the woman is on drugs, due to the fact three grown men couldn't prevent her from opening the entrance doors. Frank West, Brad, Jessie, and Otis are the only ones that make it to safety. Nobody else made it due to the fact they just stood in place and simply accepted that they were going to fucking die.

Brad gets in multiple gunfights with an enraged Latino man named Carlito, eventually they both end up finally getting a bullet into one another. Looking for medicine, Frank finds a grocery store manager that believes zombies are shoplifters. He also is holding a woman hostage. Though Frank rescues her, she runs away screaming like a Muppet.

Frank finds Isabela again who had been shot in the shoulder by her own brother, and reveals that she had been in cahoots with Carlito the entire time up until that point. Frank carries her back and eventually he and his allies eventually find Dr. Barnaby, but unfortunately he has been bitten by zombies (thanks to their old friend Carlito) and attacks Jessie. Right before he becomes a zombie, he reveals that he had been responsible for the outbreak in Santa Cabeza. He was using wasps to bioproduce extra livestock, but instead of creating cattle, he created flesh-eating zombies.

Isabela reveals that Carlito had placed several charges underground that would blow everyone in the mall to smithereens and place the virus in the atmosphere that would produce a nationwide outbreak, but Frank manages to stop him. Carlito Keyes, tired of his constant gunfights with Brad, decides to lock him in a room full of starving zombies. He is later captured by an evil butcher who refuses to go on a diet, and Frank is forced to save him. He ends up dying anyway. The military arrives afterwards, during which Jessie turns into a zombie and eats the brains out of two of them. (Although they actually had it coming, as they shot at survivors and zombies alike.)

Frank's escape helicopter eventually arrives, but unfortunately it ends up crashing, thus destroying his last shred of hope. Frank goes down on all fours and cries like a baby.

Thankfully, he is rescued by Isabela, even though he was a dude and she's a girl. Unfortunately he tells her that he has been infected and must smoke some marijuana in order to stay alive. Frank guns down rogue military commander Brock Mason, and the day is saved.

A typical clown

Characters[edit | edit source]

  • Frank West A news reporter who enjoys taking pictures of girls in the shower as well as zombies.
  • Carlito Keyes A very naughty man of very naughty proportions.
  • Isabela Keyes A woman whom men can't stop looking at.
  • Brad Garrison A bald black man who is the second main character to get killed when zombies eat his brains. Perhaps the developers are racist.
  • Jessica McCarney Brad's rookie partner who is hot even as a zombie. Pull her teeth out, tie her down, and the action dies right there.
  • Otis Washington A black man whom every Dead Rising player seems to hate.
  • Dr. Russell Barnaby A man who does mechanics on cattle but ended up creating zombies instead. He decides to become a zombie himself.
  • Ed DeLuca Frank's helicopter pilot who became edible after a covering of sauce.
  • Adam MacIntyre Half-brother of Michael McIntyre but funnier.
  • Lindsay Harris THAT FUCKING WOMAN!