Arctic War (video game)

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Video Game Wars


In Development

The Beginning[edit | edit source]

*Booting up Arctic/Server*

*Game starting in 10 seconds*



*CommieLand has entered the game*

CommieLand: in soviet russia, game joins you!

CommieLand: fuck, where is everybody???

CommieLand:...oh well

*CommieLand has captured water between city of Murmansk to North Pole*

*CanaDuh has entered the game*

CanaDuh: ummm, what do you think your doing commie?

CommieLand: I'm claiming territory in the name of russia!

CanaDuh: the arctic is neutral territory you fukin noob, don't take anymore

CommieLand: fuck off, i'll take what ever i want in the name of soviet russia!

CanaDuh: fine, if thats how the game is gonna be played...

*CanaDuh has captured the North West Passage*

CommieLand: fine, do what ever the hell you want, i don't give a crap.

*FreedomLand has entered the game*

*PatryBoi has entered the game*

*WegianCheese has entered the game*

CommieLand: whats with all the newbies?

FreedomLand: shut the fuck up, I'm not a newbie. I've been playing longer then you ass hole.

CommieLand: not long enough to think of a good name and you need to steal mine.

FreedomLand: i didn't steal your name, you stole my name! Your pretty good at stealing stuff, remember?

CommieLand: lol, are you still pissed I stole your precious nukes? haha.

CanaDuh: what are you doing here FreedomLand?

FreedomLand: um, lolz, I respect you 'right to claim the arctic region', and I 'wish to help you'.

CommieLand: lmao, you mean you want oil.

FreedomLand: fuck off, no I don't.

CommieLand: You fuck off

FreedomLand: you fuck off more

CommieLand: You fuck off the most

FreedomLand: you fuck off forever

PastryBoi: shit, SHUT UP!

CanaDuh: seriously...

CommieLand: shut up, your just Freedom's bitch Canada

CanaDuh: no I'm not, get the hell out of here or Ill pwn your ass

FreedomLand: lol, yeah, you tell him. Just give the North West Passage back to neutral stance CanaDuh and we'll help joo from this noob.

CanaDuh: no way Freedom, i needz this territory to protect my borders from terrorists

FreedomLand: when the hell have you ever disobeyed me? Stop bitching and make it neutral before I go all international on your ass

CommieLand: lolz, Freedom is pmsing

FreedomLand: no one asked you, noob!

*Admin has entered the game*

*Coffee has entered the game*

CanaDuh: the north west passage is mine

Admin: is it within 200 nautical miles within ur land?

CanaDuh: yeah

Admin: then the waters yours.

FreedomLand: wtf thats not fair, i want it

CanaDuh: i thought you said you wanted it to be neutral


*FreedomLand has left the game*

PastryBoi: lolz, busted.

CanaDuh: lolz, can u leave Hans island alone plox?

PastryBoi: Fuck no! Hans is mine noob!

*PastryBoi has launched expedition to Hans Island, 1 damage to CanaDuh*

CanaDuh: Ah, wtf! Stop that u noob!

PastryBoi: NOOB?

*PastryBoi has launched expedition to Hans Island, 1 damage to CanaDuh*

WegianCheese: rofl, it's just an island!

CanaDuh: So is Svalberd!

PastryBoi: Stop being mean to mah fellow scandinavian!

*PastryBoi has launched expedition to Hans Island, 1 damage to CanaDuh*

PastryBoi: lol, whatcha going to do now u stupid canuck?

CanaDuh: Fuck joo up teh a$$!

*CanaDuh has struck PastryBoi, 6 damage!*

*CanaDuh has reclaimed Hans Island*

PastryBoi: shit

CommieLand: lulz what a waste of time

You mean it ISN'T just polar bears and eskimos?[edit | edit source]

*CommieLand has launched sea expedition. Gained 5o experience and 15+ intelligent*

CommieLand: ha, look at dis. i checked the server and apparently the Lomonosov Ridge attaches my country to the north pole! i hear by claim the north pole in the name of soviet russia! praise communism!

PastryBoi: ummm, dats not fair. That ridge also connects my territory to the North pole so shouldn't I get some to?

CommieLand: lmao, no one gives a fuck about you pastry, get the hell out or ill invade your ass

PastryBoi: omg, your so mean, i just started playing give me a break

CommieLand: ummmm how about no?

Admin: stop being abusive Russia or Ill kick you out of the server

CommieLand: I'm russian! All I know is being abusive! See, look!

*CommieLand has struck PastryBoi, 5 damage*

PastryBoi: owww, please don't I only have 23 health points.

CommieLand: haha, loser.

Admin: I said STOP russia! Last warning!

CommieLand: wat ever, i just wanted him to know i could crush him with one simple attack. pathetic.

PastryBoi: ow, my pride.

*CommieLands expedition collects oil and diamonds!*

CommieLand: wow, wat the hell?

PastryBoi: omg, stop taking stuff from the arctic you dont own it!

CommieLand: SHUT UP! I just discovered a jack pot!

*FreedomLand has entered the game*

FreedomLand: is that precious, tasty oil?

CommieLand: id thought you'd come running at the mention of oil. yup, and its all miiiiiine!

FreedomLand: give me some!

PastryBoi: dont forget me, please?

*Aussie has entered the game*

Aussie: stop stealing my credit freedom!

FreedomLand: wtf, stop stalking my homo. ur still pissed about ww2 and how i did all the shit you were suppose to?


CommieLand: lol

*Aussie has been kicked by Admin*

*CanaDuh is no longer idle*

*WegianCheese is no longer idle*

CommieLand: damn it, you ass holes! it's mine! back off, kay?

CanaDuh: it's not yours, it's mine!

WegianCheese: actually if you pull up your toolbar and look at the map Russia does have some claim

CanaDuh: shut up your not helping

PastryBoi: omgz, u guys, please can i have some? ineed to level up...

FreedomLand: you all suck it's mine.

CommieLand: moron you aren't even close to the arctic, even with Alaska.

CanaDuh: yea and you ahven't even downloaded the Laws of the Sea expansion pack yet, lmao, so you cant claim anything.

FreedomLand: I W1LL H4XSORS DIS GAM DEN!1!!?!


Coffee: yeah, c'mon guys. lets settle this peacefully.

*FreedomLand tranfers funds to Coffee*

Coffee: CanaDuh, give the North west passage to Freedom.

CanaDuh: No fucking way n00b!!

Coffee: Fuck, they said no, what do i do noW?

FreedomLand:omfg, u suck!

Admin:ya, srsly, gtfo!

*Coffee has left the game.*

*Monkey Boone has entered the game.*

Monkey Boone: lol, wadup?

WegianCheese: hai

PastryBoi: hai noob

CanaDuh:Hai, can I keep teh North-west passage?

Monkey Boone: ya sure.

FreedomLand: omfg I wasted all my funds on joo! u fucking hax0rs.

Monkey Boone: 2 fucking bad

*FreedomLand has left the game*

The World Takes Notice[edit | edit source]

*Uber Union has entered the game*

WegianCheese: Fuck, whaat the hell do u guys want?

PastryBoi: lol, hey guys! Tell these noobs the arctic belongs to me!

Uber Union: Actually we want to make sure that everyone respects each other and that this r be settled peacefully

Admin: fuck u, that's mah job!

Uber Union: Ya, well, u suck.

Admin: :'(

*FreedomLand has entered the game*

FreedomLand: Yo uber dudes... tell canduh the North-west passge r nuetral!

Uber Union: k

CanaDuh: omfg, gey. This is mine so get lost freedom. U too Uber union, u don't even have anything to do with the arctic.

Uber Union: Actually Sweden and finland have been bitching a lot...

PastryBoi: u guys have me to represnt teh "uber Union" interests in the arctic.

*Groanland has entered the game*

Groanland: We are want to deal with the arctic by ourselves Pastry boi.

PastryBoi: No! You cn't! We have protcted joo....

Groanland: We can protect our selves u whiny bitch. all u want us for is our resources.

Uber Union: rofl, no u can't.

Groanland: Yes we ca-


*Groanland has re-transfered controls to PastryBoi*

PastryBoi: lol, knew it. Russia, bak off

CommieLand: and wat r u goin to do about it

PastryBoi: i am goin to fuk u up!

CommieLand: and do wat sqiurt me wit jelly ass pastries

Uber Union: now pepl, war is not rite

CommieLand: ohh so now the the luegue of pussies is goin ta preach!

*CommieLand strikes PastryBoi 10 damage!*

FreedomLand: AHA, commieland that is an act ageanst democracy!


PastryBoi: ITS ON!!!!!! )-<

CommieLand: fine, COME GET SUM!

Uber Union: DAMMM this is useless, i quit!

*Uber Union leaves server*

Battle of Svalbard[edit | edit source]

PastryBoi: NO worrys 4 me i hav the bigger base then any of yall

CommieLand: yess its very nice, but to bad itl be crippled by tommorow!

CanaDuh: not if i hav any thing to say abot it!

Groanland: me too!

FreedomLand: as long as i get sum oil

CanaDuh: ughh, dident see dat comin

FreedomLand: watt? u want help or not

CanaDuh: fine but get ur azz in gear now!

CommieLand: u n00bs r pathetic

*FreedomLand strikes CommieLand 20 damage!*

CommieLand: OWWWW, u n00bish cheez lovers

*$V^L8ard has entered server*

$V^L8ard: thats it commies we had enough

*$V^L8ard strikes CommieLand 1 damage!*

CommieLand: HAHAHA u punny little ice ball

*PastryBoiis now known as $V^L8ard*

CommieLand: now weve got a battle!

*CommieLand strikes $V^L8ard 15 damage!

FreedomLand: U FUKIN H^T3R

*FreedomLand strikes CommieLand 20 damage!*

CommieLand: DAMMIT stay otta this

*$V^L8ard strikes CommieLand 10 damage!*

*CommieLand strikes $V^L8ard 40 damage!*

*$V^L8ard strikes CommieLand 20 damage!*

*CommieLand strikes $V^L8ard 100 damage!*

*CommieLand has captured $V^L8ard*

CommieLand: HAHAHA so much 4 ur pathetic "base"

$V^L8ard: your goin to PAYY 4 this!

CanaDuh: i hope u commies dont mind if we "borrow"

The expeditions of pointlessness[edit | edit source]

CommieLand: by what? military force!

CanaDuh: no just, just say goodbye to some of ur shit

*CanaDuh launches an expedition of Franz Josef Land 5 damage!*

CommieLand: heyy man dats mine

*[[Svalbard|$V^L8ard] is now known as PastryBoi*

PastryBoi: yea so was $V^L8ard!! and wat happened to that?

CommieLand: sorry that dosent apply to gayys!

*PastryBoi launches an expedition of the De Long Islands 5 damage!*

CommieLand: im warning u guys!!!!

*CanaDuh launches an expedition of new siberia 1 damage!*


*Uber Union has entered server

Uber Union: cum on man, take a chill pill

CanaDuh: i kno seriously,N00B

CommieLand: fuk u ur al HAX3R$

Uber Union: fuk me, fuk urself

CommieLand: i wouldnt be talking, I actually own somthing

*CommieLand claims baffin bay 5 damage!

CommieLand: and now i own more!

CanaDuh: fuk u, ur bull $hit

freedomland: yea man thats owerz

CommieLand: WoW ur hypocrits

CanaDuh: how about a treaty?

The sorta treaty of the north pole[edit | edit source]

CommieLand: noooooo, thats russias new land!

freedomland: *water

CommieLand: great! u passed geology

freedomland: NO... but i almost did

Uber Union: okay? back 2 that treaty

CanaDuh: yea, how bout we trade each others land?

freedomland: yea well trade water/land 4 water/land

CommieLand ok, but only if i can get all ov canaduh

CanaDuh: uhhh fuk no!?

freedomland: no way! he might hurt reindeers!

CommieLand: reindeers?

freedomland: u kno santas reindeers!


CanaDuh: ughh!!

Uber Union: r u serious?

freedomland: HELLA YEA ill prov it

*freedomland launches expedition of north pole

CommieLand: any luck?

freedomland: FUK OFF! )':

Uber Union: EPIC FAIL!

CanaDuh: haha, can we get bak 2 buisness

Uber Union: yess lets

CommieLand: fine but i get north pole (;

Uber Union: we most assemble all nationz of the arctic

*subway has entered server

*man-o-popsickle has entered server

*fishnation has entered server

Uber Union: now lets get dis show on da road

CommieLand: fagg0t...

man-o-popsickle: waz up homies

CanaDuh: WHY do we have this guy!?

CommieLand: yea relly cuz he aint gettin nothin

man-o-popsickle: dont worry i hav everything i want hear

freedomland: all u have is ice and.... land

man-o-popsickle: yess but thats 1 thing u dont have(;

freedomland: must.. resist... urge to... conquer!

subway: boats n h03s

CommieLand: shut up u n00b

fishnation: ur da n00b!

[[United States|freedomland]: ur all noobs!! so shut up!

Uber Union: yess lets all shut up!

CanaDuh: cmon lets get dis over with

Uber Union: rite, u wants the north passage!

CanaDuh: leave it nuetral!!

man-o-popsickle: i agree!

freedomland: so do i!

Uber Union: wow wer gettin somewer

*Northwestern passage is declared nuetral!

CanaDuh: i get baffin island!

freedomland: fine but i get baffin bay!

CommieLand: and i get all water north of MY country

freedomland: cough* of shit

CommieLand: ur jus jeolose of ur superior

*CommieLand declares all water north of border thiers!

*CanaDuh declares baffin island thiers!

*freedomland declares baffin bay, and bering sea thiers

Uber Union: thier its all in order :D

ITS JUST FUKING OIL!!![edit | edit source]

CommieLand: ahhh thats better

freedomland: BETTER!?!? what about all the oil

man-o-popsickle: nooo way! stay away from my oil

CanaDuh: seriously we signed a treaty!

*CommieLand strikes man-o-popsickle 50 damage!

man-o-popsickle: U BICTH!!!!!


CanaDuh: shit!?!?

man-o-popsickle: IM ON FIRE U ASS HOLE!!!

CommieLand: no more oil to kill over! MUHAHAHA

*man-o-popsickle strikes CommieLand 40 damage!

*freedomland strikes CommieLand 70 damage!

CommieLand: AHHHHH, i was doin u a favor

freedomland: u kno... i think wezor havzor c01d w4r right n0w...

man-o-popsickle: freedomland h4s p01nt...

CommieLand: i h4s id34!11!!!1!11one!!1!!!eleven!!!!

CommieLand: /entercheat und4s34_w4rf4r3

*Undersea Warfare Activated! Submarines are now available to CommieLand!

freedomland: 0 y34!!11!!! 2 can play at dis!1!1!!!!!112

freedomland: /entercheat und4s34_w4rf4r3

*Undersea Warfare Activated! Submarines are now available to Freedomland!

CanaDuh: 3 can play at dis!!!1

CanaDuh: /entercheat und4s34_w4rf4r3


freedomland: sub patch = roxors! ha u failz!

*Torp: Los Angeles Class Submarine [Freedomland] hits Typhoon Class Submarine [CommieLand]! 80 damage!

*Freedomland has sunk CommieLand Typhoon Class Submarine!

CommieLand: WTF!!! H4X!!! MY NUCLEAR MISSI- ... i mean errrrrr my torpedoes? ummmm precious cargo?

You tried what??!![edit | edit source]

CanaDuh: Y0U D1D WUT?!

CommieLand: YE4 I DID DO DAT!!1!!1 me n freedomland r having a cold war right now... so get out of this!!1!!1 this is between me and him!

freedomland: what happened to da tr34tY! wh4t h4pp3n3d to neutrality?!/1?1 what h4pp3n3d to dah oil!!! :*(